Just trying to refine my first three chapters to make them more accessible and readable.
I don't need help with spelling or grammar, just general feedback on how easy it is to follow, how engaging or boring the MC is, and anything else you want to pick over. I've recently cut ch2 by more than a third in a bid to do that.
Pitch:
NEFRÁL, a genetic anomaly who suffers from hallucinations, and her twin brother REVION, a social paragon with strong ideals, become caught up in a surreal political struggle to resurrect their society’s ancient founding matriarch, while also having to confront aspects of Nefral’s psychosis.
I don't need help with spelling or grammar, just general feedback on how easy it is to follow, how engaging or boring the MC is, and anything else you want to pick over. I've recently cut ch2 by more than a third in a bid to do that.
Pitch:
NEFRÁL, a genetic anomaly who suffers from hallucinations, and her twin brother REVION, a social paragon with strong ideals, become caught up in a surreal political struggle to resurrect their society’s ancient founding matriarch, while also having to confront aspects of Nefral’s psychosis.
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