Bad Joke Thread

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Maryn

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The whole idea of using a kitten sounds pretty nice. Although I suppose the animal rights people would be up in arms...
 

Cobalt Jade

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Q: Why was King Arthur always so old?

A: Because he lived in the Age of Shivery!
 

Maryn

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Is there a typo? Was he cold?
 

Maryn

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(Leaving an all-you-can-eat buffet) Let's roll.
 

porlock

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Q: How many elephants can ride in a taxi?
Ans: only one, but he has to stay in the trunk
 

Sam Artisan

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What's a pirate's favorite part of a birthday party?
th'balloons (Doubloons)
 

Northborn Swordsman

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Three 18th Century hussars, one British, one French and one Polish, are preparing to fight each other ahorse.
"Sabre the moment," says the Brit, drawing his sword.
"That's not how sabre is pronounced!" objects the Frenchman.
The Pole shoots them both while they argue. "I forgot my szabla," he explains.
 

risk10

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I was singing Oasis' 'Wonderwall" all weekend. It was driving my wife crazy. She finally snapped and shouted: "Are you ever going to stop singing that song?!"

And I said maybe
 

KBaum1608

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When life hands you lemons, hey, free lemons! There's a lot you can do with those actually. They are in many recipes.
 

DanielSTJ

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I actually just made up one. I hope it's awful! :greenie

What did the razor do to insult the face?

.....

BURN!

:p
 

Chase

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Hip and knee replacement old folks sitting around after strenuous PT--smoking joints.
 

DanielSTJ

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Okay, I've got another one:

What did the mouth say to the smelly Listerine?

WASH! :ROFL:

Oh my, that was horrendous. LOL.
 

porlock

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It's graduation time,

The business grad asks how can I advance to the next level of the corporation?
The arts grad asks "Want fries with that burger?"
 

DanielSTJ

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Setting: a refrigerator.

What did the apple say to the orange?

Orange, you glad you ain't lemon?

-------

Like, WHAT!?
 

DanielSTJ

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What kind of dish did they bring to the pep rally?

PEPperoni!

Loooooooool

So bad.
 
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Jason

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Three strings are looking for a party (they're college strings after all), and decide to start their own. So, off to the convenience store they go. First string hops out of the car, saying he'll go get the beer. Walks into the convenience store, up to the register and says "I'd like to buy a six pack of beer please." Cashier eyes him up and down, and says, "We don't serve strings here."

String walks out all dejected, "He wouldn't sell me the beer." Second string chimes in and says, "Ya did it wrong, lemme give it a go." So, the second string walks in the store, walks back to the cooler, picks up a six-pack and says, "I wanna buy this six pack of beer." Cashier eyes him up and down, says, "Sorry, don't serve strings here." So, she walks out all bummed, saying "Cashier wouldn't sell me the beer either."

So, the third string chimes in and says, "Both y'all screwed up, I'll get it." Gets out of the car, goes back to the cooler, brings it up, tosses enough money on the counter to cover the beer and starts to walk out the door. The cashier shouts out, "Hey, ain't you a string?!?!"

String says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"
 

DanielSTJ

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What did the cattle ranch owner think was his bet in the poker game?

A stake. (Steak.)

Looooooool.
 
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