Is this sentence grammatically correct?

WritingGenie

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Dell stood at the front porch of Landy's house, sweat dotting his forehead after a long day's work.
 

muse

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Looks fine to me, too.
 

Jason

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Aside from Dell being a computer name, I see no construction problems...LOL :)

Looks good though
 

M.S. Wiggins

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Looks fine to me as well. I would only like to mention the visual positioning given the word choice. (In other words: What I see.) With, ‘Dell stood at the front porch of Landy's house…’, I imagine Dell standing at the entrance to the porch — as in: at the base of the step/s leading up to the porch, or somewhere close to it — but not on the porch.

Hope that's what/where you were aiming for, because I would frown somewhat if the next line was: And then Dell knocked on the door (as that would mean Dell has a very long arm, or that's a narrow porch!)
 

WritingGenie

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Looks fine to me as well. I would only like to mention the visual positioning given the word choice. (In other words: What I see.) With, ‘Dell stood at the front porch of Landy's house…’, I imagine Dell standing at the entrance to the porch — as in: at the base of the step/s leading up to the porch, or somewhere close to it — but not on the porch.

Hope that's what/where you were aiming for, because I would frown somewhat if the next line was: And then Dell knocked on the door (as that would mean Dell has a very long arm, or that's a narrow porch!)


Dell (nick name for Dallas) was at the bottom step of the porch, so the visual is correct. :)
 

Night_Writer

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I think it's correct also, but it's not as neat as it could be. I would say this:

Dell stood at the front porch of Landy's house, the sweat of a long day's work dotting his forehead.
 

Chronic

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I think it looks OK grammatically, but logistically I see a problem (and I know I'm being anal here but. . . ): If Dell is standing at the porch of someone's house, it means his work day has been over for however long it took him to drive or walk there. So, while he might still be clammy from the work-day's sweat, the sweat wouldn't be beading on his forehead anymore. Or if it was, it wouldn't be from work.
 

Jan74

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Dell stood at the front porch of Landy's house, sweat dotting his forehead after a long day's work.

I'm new and know nothing, but I would be tempted to say "stood at the foot of the front porch or base of the front porch?" or "Dell stood at the first step of Landy's porch?" or "Dell stood at the base of Landy's porch" I wouldn't say dotting I would say dotted. But I'm the blind leading the blind. I will be stalking this thread to see what the pros say.
 

borogove

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Speaking as an editor, it's an awkward construction — but simple to fix.

"...after a long day's work" is supposed to modify the subject of the sentence, which is Dell. But you've placed it after "sweat dotting his forehead." Which means your sentence is technically saying that the sweat has had a long day's work. Move "after a long day's work" closer to the subject of the sentence, and it will read more smoothly.

I also third the confusion over the porch phrasing. But again, there's a simple fix:

After a long day's work, Dell stood in front of Landy's house, sweat dotting his forehead.
Dell stood in front of Landy's porch after a long day's work, sweat dotting his forehead.
Dell stood in front of Landy's porch, sweat dotting his forehead.