Y'all remember the time Cray married that Mexican lady from the HR department, right? Or, maybe she was Peruvian or Ecuadorian, I can't remember. But I do remember that she was a manager in HR and there was an incident on their honeymoon.
Cray, being ever the romantic, had arranged for a honeymoon in a mountainous region in Mexico. The little hacienda he'd rented could only be reached on horseback - or donkey-back, as it turned out.
(Oh god, that donkey again.)
Anyway. With all their luggage, they climbed onto the donkey and set off. Only one donkey. (Cray was too mean to pay for two.) They trudged for miles and miles. Along narrow, rocky ledges, thorny patches of man-shredding cactus and deep cracks of hard-baked earth. The sun blazed down and heat shimmered.... okay, you get the picture. Three hours into the trek the donkey stumbled and let out a howl... or it braid, or brayed or whatever the fuck donkeys do. The new Mrs Cray got down and walked round to the donkey's face. She glared at it. Then she held up an index finger and said, 'Thatsa one!'
She got back on the donkey and they continued. About half an hour later the donkey stumbled again. Mrs Cray again got down at held two fingers in front of the donkey's face. 'Thatsa two!' She got back on and they continued.
The third time the donkey stumbled, Mrs Cray walked round to the donkey's head. From under her poncho, or shawl or whatever, she withdrew the biggest revolver Cray had ever seen. Without a word, she shot the donkey straight between the eyes.
Cray was horrified. 'Esmeralda!,' he yelled. 'How could you do that to a poor animal? That's so cruel!'
Mrs Cray walked over to him and looked deep into his eyes. She held up an index finger. 'Thatsa one.'