regdog's Autobot & Decepticon Comedy Cabaret-Energon Served Hourly

Jaycinth

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***This is the part of town your mother warned you about. But you come here anyway. You heard the rumors. The truth is, well, interesting.

The cab driver chuckled when he let you out on the corner. He knows all about it. After all, he comes down here a few times a night.

You’re standing in front of a club. Through the windows you can see the patrons dancing. You’ve been in that club before. But it is not your destination tonight.
No.
This evening you walk past the club and turn down the poorly lit alley. You pass a dumpster. The resident accosts you, but you knowthe routine and you’ve brought along a couple bottles of Nighttrain to pay the toll.

A cat hisses and a dog snarls. You’re used to it. The requisite number of bacon wrapped steak nuggets always does the trick.

It’s a dead end. But to your left, there’s a door. You know the signal. You get in. The 1,200-pound yak knows you; you’ve never caused any trouble.
You descend the stairs, familiar scents drift past your nose. The cloak dude takes your coat and you walk through the door into.............***


Welcome to the Comedy Cabaret!
I’m glad to see you here.
..Quite frankly, I’m glad to see any of you here.
.... so you’ll be happy to know we’ll no longer be offering sushi.
On the bright side, though,
I’ve hired a new chef.
His name is Melkeesadeck
That’s right. Just like the bible, but spelled funny.
I call him ‘Mel’
He calls me, ah, ...it doesn’t translate well.
But...he knows how long to boil a cheeseburger,
and how many times to hit it, too.
Seriously folks,
The bar is well stocked,
I know what you all prefer,
Your servers are ‘Cindy’ and ‘Ron’. They work for tips, so please be generous.

As for the teenagers hiding out in the back of the bar, I know who you are. See that black light enhanced beaded curtain? Through that curtain is the arcade. You can purchase an arm band for a joke and play all day, but no way is the bartender going to give you anything stronger than a double chocolate mocha-latte malted shake.

So folks, make yourselves comfortable. Order a drink and sit a spell, or grab the mike.

It is ALWAYS open mike night in this caberet.

And, now, I’m going to step off the stage, and open it up to you. Tell a joke or a quip and anecdote or sing your favorite ‘comedy song’.
***steps off stage and meanders to the back of the club to watch.***
 

regdog

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Mine all mine and you losers aren't invited.
 

regdog

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There are a few advantages of being early mod on duty.
 

regdog

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Lillian_Blaire

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Fine, fine. Go get Alessandra her drink and no stealing from the cash register.
*gets Allessandra her drink*

*stares at the money in the register*

*looks around, squinting at new shiny cameras that may not be working yet*

*looks at money again*

Fine. Whatever.

*shuts the drawer without taking anything*
 

swachski

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There's been a cray sighting in the old thread..


swach,
local bigfoot
 

TrainofThought

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Mine all mine and you losers aren't invited.
It's loosers, not losers. Geez!

There are a few advantages of being early mod on duty.
Making the coffee? Changing passwords? Having bad breath yet no one can smell it?

*ambles in*

*spit*
*saunters behind Haggis*

*a rancid smell of spoiled eggs and sauerkraut forces me to leave the room*

There's been a cray sighting in the old thread..


swach,
local bigfoot
*hears this, looks around and then giggles*

cray was locked in the old thread. A different and same dimension beyond that which is known to avatars. It is a dimension as huge as David Hasselhoff making an appearance in Germany and as smelly as a 100-year old prostitute. It is the middle ground between funny and insane, between horoscopes and Scientology, and it lies between the pit of man's underarm and the summit of his comprehension. This is the dimension of ludicrousness. It is an area which we call the Cabaret.
 

Haggis

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cray was locked in the old thread. A different and same dimension beyond that which is known to avatars. It is a dimension as huge as David Hasselhoff making an appearance in Germany and as smelly as a 100-year old prostitute. It is the middle ground between funny and insane, between horoscopes and Scientology, and it lies between the pit of man's underarm and the summit of his comprehension. This is the dimension of ludicrousness. It is an area which we call the Cabaret.

That kind of brought a tear to my snout, Tater.
 

TedTheewen

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cray was locked in the old thread a different and same dimension beyond that which is known to avatars it is a dimension as huge as David Hasselhoff making an appearance in Germany and as smelly as a 100-year old prostitute it is the middle ground between funny and insane between horoscopes and Scientology and it lies between the pit of man's underarm and the summit of his comprehension this is the dimension of ludicrousness it is an area which we call the Cabaret because

FIFY
 

Silva

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tater and ted said:
cray was locked in the old thread a different and same dimension beyond that which is known to avatars it is a dimension as huge as David Hasselhoff making an appearance in Germany and as smelly as a 100-year old prostitute it is the middle ground between funny and insane between horoscopes and Scientology and it lies between the pit of man's underarm and the summit of his comprehension this is the dimension of ludicrousness it is an area which we call the Cabaret because your mom

let's keep this current and diverse, guys
 

tiddlywinks

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Don't tell me what to do, Autobot.

Maggie...you're supposed to call her a decepticon or a toaster. Trust me on these things.

Also, here I thought I was going to have a heck of a time finding this joint again. *eyes title* I should have known.

*slips in spit on floor*
*goes sliding under the bar*

Ewwwwwww...
 

regdog

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Don't tell me what to do, Autobot.

So tell me, how attached to that avatar are you?



Maggie...you're supposed to call her a decepticon or a toaster. Trust me on these things.

That amnesty is running out pretty fast, rodent.

Also, here I thought I was going to have a heck of a time finding this joint again. *eyes title* I should have known.

*slips in spit on floor*
*goes sliding under the bar*

Ewwwwwww...

Hmm, Haggis, I've reconsidered, keep spitting. It's getting damn funny.
 

TedTheewen

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Oh, hi Tiddly.

*sigh*

You found us. Great!

*orders more bubblewrap*

you know, you might want to take it easy in here for a bit. I'm pretty sure FedEX won't get here as quickly as we need them.

*orders more first-aid kits*

So...yeah, take it easy. It's Saturday. Shouldn't you be reading a book or something?
 

tiddlywinks

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That amnesty is running out pretty fast, rodent.
*squeaks in indignation from under the bar*

That's Ms. Reaper Rat to you.

Hey, why are there already peanuts under here?

*squints*

Wait a minute...

Oh, hi Tiddly.

*sigh*

You found us. Great!

*orders more bubblewrap*

you know, you might want to take it easy in here for a bit. I'm pretty sure FedEX won't get here as quickly as we need them.

*orders more first-aid kits*

So...yeah, take it easy. It's Saturday. Shouldn't you be reading a book or something?

Why yes, yes I am reading a book, Ted. On my tablet. So I can multitask! Isn't that swell?