How do you help your readers connect emotionally to your character?

I find it can be helpful to think about why your Character is really doing what they are doing/who they are, what is the central thing that drives them? If they are a cop in an action heavy story they may get invloved in the plot because they are a cop but why are they a cop? What made them want to do that? I think you then trace that back as far as you can and often the reasons I come up with are not things the character may even realise about themselves. If they are a cop because of something they witnessed as a child they may not link those events but that will play out in any intereactions that are remotley linked to what they whitnessed. You don't need to tell the reader what the charachters central drive is but it will help you pick up subtlties of their character.
A over simple example would a characters parents have a volatile relationship and seperate when they are young. They are affected by this in all their own relationships, they either become someone determined not to be like their parents, esperate to show love can work, or someone who thinks all relationships are doomed to fail. Now I don't need to tell the reader any of this but it will influence how my character interacts with others particuarly if there is any kind of romantic interest.

Having re-read that I'm not sure I've made that very clear but hipefully it might help.

Is your MC going through enough conflict? When I write, I tend to find the the more conflict I throw at my character, the more their emotional side comes out. After all, it's really hard to go through a lot of crap without showing SOME emotions. Though characters may react to situations differently-- anger, sadness, withdrawal...

When I teach my students about characterization, I always have them look at the points of conflict. Usually this is when the best characterization (which will make your MC more relatable) shines through. If you're putting your character through enough hell, then it'll come out naturally. Do you have enough conflict? Is it a good balance of internal and external conflict? These questions might lead you in the right direction. Hope this helps!

I like making certain my heroes have some flaws. Everyone has flaws. Even heroes! People can relate to someone who is insecure, or is afraid of spiders, or hates making phone calls. Alternatively, villains/antagonists must have some virtues. No one is one-dimensional.

amillimiles said:

One feedback that several readers have given me is that it is hard to connect to my MC emotionally. I can see where they're coming from, due to several aspects:
1. Novel starts out with fast-paced action scenes that don't give much time for emotional response/reaction
2. MC starts off as rather closed off -- sheltered, uptight, afraid of the world despite her bravery, morality, and loyalty

I've read some advice online
...
All of which I believe I am doing. It's the subtleties that I'm looking for -- i.e. inserting more reactions after an action? Showing more internal monologue?

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I've just looked at your excerpt - not bad But it's not possible to actually see what type of character the MC is. It's a bit like if somebody shows you a photograph of a person. You see them, maybe you see them do this or that, but it's not enough to actually form an opinion about the person in the photo. There are reactions, and internal stuff, but it doesn't coherently tell me what sort of person the MC is.

The subtlety is not where to insert an internal thought, or a description of emotion. The subtle skill here is to discover how to reveal a character as "shy", or as "quiet" or "reserved". Yes, they will talk less and will perhaps interact less, but just giving them fewer lines of dialogue or leaving them to do less will not make them appear "shy". There is more to it. The reader needs to understand why this character talks less or why they don't participate. Think of "Pride and Prejudice" where the character of MrDarcy was very much misunderstood by those who saw him just as "a man who talks less". They did not see his nature because it was not revealed to them. Same with the readers, they will misunderstand a character if their nature is not revealed well.

And revealing the nature of a character a complex skill, there are many things to take into account. That's why examples work better than a dry explanation (there is a lot to explain). Perhaps pick a book where the character is shy and withdrawn and try to see how that author has managed to make those qualities visible to the reader.

Some bits from your excerpt:
MC enters a prison, which is "dark" and "the stench bothered her the most". Next thing she does is, "wrapped her cloak tightly around her" - she has no reaction to the dark, or to the stench. We just learn details about the place, but the MC has no reaction to that place. You told us she didn't like the stench but that was not convincing. The reader made no emotional connection with the MC being .... being what, really? We don't really know what she feels. Did the dark made her uncomfortable? Or did the dark just made it difficult to see where she was walking? Or, did she like the dark for some reason? All those would be relatable. The reader will feel how she is afraid, or not sure where to step, or happy with the peace and quiet. But just "dark"? Nope, no emotion there. Make your descriptions work and you'll have emotional connection.

Same with "stench". It "bothered" her but what does that mean? Did the stench reveal that the prisoners don't wash often and she is a very clean person who can't stand dirt? Or does it mean that the prisoners are kept in squalid conditions and that makes her feel sad because she is a softie? Or, did the stench just made her want to puke because yuk! Different meanings can be inserted here, and they will all create some sort of emotional connection to the reader. The MC may be cruel, or sympathetic, it doesn't matter as long as it's made clear. But "bother"? I don't know what this means to the character. Then the next paragraph should continue that same idea about the character, and the next. And in a few pages the reader will know what sort of person this is, and once that happens, you got that elusive emotional connection.

If anything, that current wording gives me other thoughts. All those poor souls there, locked up didn't bother her, she's only bothered by the stench. MC comes as a bit heartless right now. So, wording does make an emotional connection. But is it the one you intended? I'm not sure what you intended. I'm trying to guess what sort of person the MC is, but it's not clear at all.

An example of good characterisation is when you talk about the cold: MC wraps the cloak around her, breath mists the air, and we learn that the cold never left the empire. Well, now I'm feeling that chill. That works. And the MC reacts to it too, "she focused on it"..."Anything but the whispers of doubt clouding her mind." That works. Now I see the MC has a strong dislike for the cold but an even stronger dislike for the doubts in her mind. Yep, I can understand that, I can relate to it. The emotional connection with the reader exists here. It doesn't always have to stretch over several sentences. A skillful writer can do the same with less sentences, even within a few words. It's a trick that comes with practice and with reading, perhaps.

[[inserting more reactions after an action? Showing more internal monologue? etc.]]

Actually, those are two methods I'd avoid. Both are a form of telling instead of showing. Telling the reader how the character feels isn't going to evoke those feelings in the reader. Instead, set up a situation early on that shows what the character is made of. There's a reason you cared enough about the protagonist to write a whole book about him/her. Readers need a reason too; they won't care a priori.

Think instead about what makes you like a person you meet. I met a stranger the other day, a cart boy at my local supermarket. From a brief encounter, I had the impression that he was intellectually challenged. Then he and I both witnessed something odd: a little girl of 5 or 6 on her own, who darted from the sidewalk in front of the store into the parking lot. We both stopped short. I looked for the parent I assumed would be chasing her, but there was no one. The young man looked concerned and confused. He said "That's not right." By then the girl was out of sight. I said I was going to look for her. He left what he was doing and came with me, checking the opposite row of cars. Finally we saw her in the back of a car that was pulling out, driven by an old man...I'm guessing a clueless grandfather who thought it was okay to let the girl go into the store alone.

After that, I liked the young man. (I even went to his supervisor and told him what had happened--hoping something good happens for him!) He showed me what he's made of; he didn't tell me.

I think one of the problems with telling the reader what your character's personality is, is that they're liable just to forget. You can put in 300 words of exposition about someone's temperament and the reader has forgotten it all three pages later. They're more likely to remember something happening and infer temperament from that. Even if its brief, like with Barbara's example parking lot attendant.

To reiterate what others here are saying, creating an interesting character is the goal here, not necessarily creating a sympathetic one. Give your readers characters they can respond to. To do that, you have to make your character real, which--to me--demands that you give your characters a certain fallibility. To be human is to question, to make mistakes, and those things don't happen in a vacuum.

There are reasons people do things. A character's motivations have to make sense for that character. How those motivations play out is what makes that character, and his story, unique. The writer's job is to show that in an interesting way, and there are lots of ways to do that: through dialogue, action and reaction, etc. Just remember to keep in mind that your characters don't have to be sympathetic, per se--they could be assholes, villians, coldly calculating--but they do have to come across as real, warts and all. That's what makes a character unique. That's what makes a character interesting.

Those are the characters readers connect with most strongly, and remember long after the book is finished.

blacbird said:

I don't think you can, really. Nor do I think you should. All you can do is write a good honest story and throw it out there. How your readers respond to it is beyond your control.

caw

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That's rather pessimistic suggesting one cannot learn writing skills and techniques.

Read Lisa Cron's Wired for Story and/or her blog.

And read more books, or even just the beginnings in this case. I'm always paying attention to writing skills when I read. Do you relate to the characters or not and what is it that makes the difference? The more you see what works and doesn't work for emotional connections to characters, you'll begin to connect the dots to you own opening.

cornflake said:

Seconding the pup. I don't think connection hinges on the character expressing emotion.

Don Draper was a cold, bad person, but he was compelling as all get out. In book terms, the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is not exactly a font of emotion or relatable anything, but she's deeply interesting. There needs to be something compelling, interesting, even if it's not specifically relatable. Connection I think is misinterpreted as something like feeling akin to, wanting to befriend, having empathy for, but I think it's more like wanting to follow the person around to find out what they'll do next. James Bond is not emotional, almost ever, but he's a character many people connect with.

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I agree, expressing emotion is only a tiny sliver of what creates a reader's emotional connection to a character. The point is to interest the reader, draw them in, make them want to know what happens and in the case of the characters, it's critical the reader connects in some way. And there are many kinds of connections, it need not be any specific emotional connection, just one that the reader finds interest in.

Putputt said:

Have you read Gone Girl? I don't identify with either character -- they both do pretty despicable shit, but a lot of their inner thoughts and emotions are extremely relatable.....

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Girl on the Train is another excellent study in readers' connecting with characters. The main character is an overweight, unattractive alcoholic who lies, throws up on the stairs and leaves it there, which the roommate then encounters. The character has used people, like owing the roommate the rent, maxed out borrowing from her mother, and on and on. It appears she's harassing her ex and his new wife and baby.

You would think you'd be disgusted by the character. Yet the author manages, with incredible skill in my opinion, to make you feel empathy for her, not pity necessarily, but actual empathy. I won't say more because it would include spoilers, but if you want to read an example of skillfully drawing the reader to a character, read the book before you see the movie.

amillimiles said:

One feedback that several readers have given me is that it is hard to connect to my MC emotionally. I can see where they're coming from, due to several aspects:
1. Novel starts out with fast-paced action scenes that don't give much time for emotional response/reaction
2. MC starts off as rather closed off -- sheltered, uptight, afraid of the world despite her bravery, morality, and loyalty

I've read some advice online, such as:
- Write emotional scenes that evoke emotions in your MC --> reader will feel it too
- Show, don't tell ...

All of which I believe I am doing. It's the subtleties that I'm looking for -- i.e. inserting more reactions after an action? Showing more internal monologue? etc.

In general, though -- what are some tips you guys have for writing in a way that connects your reader to your MC and makes the readers sympathize?

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I'm going to tell you what I did and it helped. I thought, what would I do in that situation? Then I take that and I fit it to the character. One of my characters is a 16 year old geek who is picked on by the bullies in her school. She is thrust into another world. So I thought, what would i do if I were 16, a geek, picked on and thrust into another world? I'd have a panic attack. And so she has a few in the beginning. It seems to work. Also be real. make your characters real. Don't make them perfect, but make them have problems, issues, etc. Make it all real. That will pull the reader in.

Know your characters. Write a two-three sentence summary of what kind of person they are.

For example: Morris is a bullheaded cynical idealist. He will always endeavor to do the right thing, but expects to get screwed in the process.

Or Robert is an indecisive coward. He thinks he knows what he wants, but he is unsure about how to achieve it, and afraid to even try.

Now use that brief description to educate whatever decision the character is to make. Don't make them passive. That's boring. Be consistent. Give them a decision that they have to make like Robert Frost did in his poem "The Road Not Taken." Make either path sound reasonable. People can relate to that.

Also BIG one, don't be afraid to make your characters fail, it only makes success taste all the sweeter.

Can you write about your MC emotions during those first action scenes? For instance, if she is running away or hiding, you could give indication about her fear.

Thank you for this question, because it has me thinking about my next novel, which will start with a car accident. My MC will be in fear as he is riding (not driving) in the car because the driver is going too fast for the conditions, but he wants to hide his fear out of bravado / image (he's in high school). Then there's the accident, and he's afraid.

Anyway, I think writing something about what thoughts / emotions the MC is having right off the bat might be a good way to get the readers to relate.

There's so much good advice here! The only thing I might add is the specific difficulty of writing a character that's passive or shy or reserved. In that particular situation, just showing her actions won't be enough to help us understand her character. Personally, I think it's necessary to show the difference between what she wants or wishes to do and what she actually does. There's a Sarah Evans lyric that comes to mind when I think of this (stay with me!): "You don't know how it feels to be the one who loves the most / How hard it is not to beg you to stay, then watch you go." This line always stuck with me. Who can't relate to the inability to say what you really need to? For example, you could give us an example of her rehearsing over and over what she wants to tell someone, then simply saying "OK" when the moment comes.

latieplolo said:

There's so much good advice here! The only thing I might add is the specific difficulty of writing a character that's passive or shy or reserved. In that particular situation, just showing her actions won't be enough to help us understand her character. Personally, I think it's necessary to show the difference between what she wants or wishes to do and what she actually does. There's a Sarah Evans lyric that comes to mind when I think of this (stay with me!): "You don't know how it feels to be the one who loves the most / How hard it is not to beg you to stay, then watch you go." This line always stuck with me. Who can't relate to the inability to say what you really need to? For example, you could give us an example of her rehearsing over and over what she wants to tell someone, then simply saying "OK" when the moment comes.

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Could you write an internal dialogue for your MC? If she is passive, she may hate that about herself, but is unable to speak up. An internal conflict could reveal a lot about her. Passive people aren't always really passive inside themselves, they may have a self perception of being unworthy, ugly, ... whatever. Use that.

If you're interested in doing additional research in how to incorporate emotions, I found this thread useful:

Adding Emotional Depth

I added some links to specific articles about emotion beats and more in this comment on the post.

Hope this helps!

I think showing a character's emotions, instead of telling, is an important way of accomplishing what is asked in the topic. Telling is useful, at times, but showing gets a better reaction of readers.

Hmmm...it seems to me that if you want to have your readers emotionally connected with your characters, the first thing you need to do is have your readers invested in their journey. This means getting readers to identify with the characters and their problems / quests etc.

My approach is to engage the readers' senses as early as possible. For example, in my recent nov set in the C11 (culminating in the Battle of Hastings) the first things the reader learns about the MC are that he doesn't quite believe in God (despite being promised to the church) and he hates the smell of shit. These are fairly modern ideas for someone growing up in the Age of Faith, in a world that stank of sewage, rotting meat, woodsmoke etc and I hope the modern reader feels a connection straight away with the MC and his problems - problems which very quickly escalate.

The deeper the reader is sucked into Brand's world and his problems, the more they identify with him and connect emotionally.

In theory.

The Black Prince said:

Hmmm...it seems to me that if you want to have your readers emotionally connected with your characters, the first thing you need to do is have your readers invested in their journey. This means getting readers to identify with the characters and their problems / quests etc.

My approach is to engage the readers' senses as early as possible. For example, in my recent nov set in the C11 (culminating in the Battle of Hastings) the first things the reader learns about the MC are that he doesn't quite believe in God (despite being promised to the church) and he hates the smell of shit. These are fairly modern ideas for someone growing up in the Age of Faith, in a world that stank of sewage, rotting meat, woodsmoke etc and I hope the modern reader feels a connection straight away with the MC and his problems - problems which very quickly escalate.

The deeper the reader is sucked into Brand's world and his problems, the more they identify with him and connect emotionally.

In theory.

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I would say that's spot on.