Does my MC need some angst at the start of the story?

t0dd

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I've been submitting a MG fantasy to several agents, and keep on getting a "not for me" response. I've been searching for some reason for why the story hasn't gone down with them, and have been wondering about the reason for it. And I've been thinking over one possible reason.

I've noticed that a lot of MG fantasies start with the protagonist, even before the event that sends him (or her) off on the adventure, experiencing much trouble in his/her life: parents dead, parents divorced or getting divorced, living with an unpleasant foster-family, singled out for bullying at school, etc. But my MC didn't have any turmoil in his life when the story began (though he gets plenty of it after the adventure begins). His father is dead, but that doesn't weigh on him too greatly (it happened when the MC was a baby, so he doesn't remember his father, and his mother took good care of him). Other than his father's death, he has a good life and a quiet one - at least, if you count living in an old house which, rumor claims, is haunted - and those rumors excite the MC more than they scare him.

(The story, I should explain, to show the context, opens on a windy, wild autumn evening when the MC hears an odd noise in the lower part of the house - apparently coming from the cellar - investigates, and discovers an odd creature linked to the stories about the house's haunting, who had come to the house to retrieve something - and the MC helping the creature retrieve that object from his room leads to them both going back in time to the early Middle Ages, unable to get back, with the MC facing a lot of perils there.)

Now, I've wondered whether the MC's peaceful home life (the opening chapters have much external action as he searches for the source of the noise in the old house, encounters the creature visiting, and goes back in time with it) might be one reason why the agents keep turning the story down - that it's an unwritten rule that the MC has to have some serious trouble going on in his life before the "inciting incident" (the odd creature's arrival, in this case), and that the absence of such turmoil is a major reason for their saying "Sorry, not for me". (Though this also has the problem that the MC needs a happy home life. A major part of the story is his desperately trying to return to his own time, while he's faced not only with external obstacles but also hints - which he constantly tries to ignore - that he's supposed to be in the past to accomplish something important. And if his home life wasn't so happy, the reader might find his wanting to go home unconvincing.)

Is my MC having a happy and contented life at the start of the story (it obviously changes once he meets the creature and goes back in time - does it ever) a handicap to my book being published?
 

playground

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No. There has to be troubles and turmoil throughout the novel of course, things the MC must overcome, but there doesn't need to be a great issue the MC deals with before going on the adventure. If you like at Brandon Mull's Fablehaven and Five Kingdoms series the MCs don't have any issues in the beginning like that.

How many agents have you sent to? I've heard the magical number thrown around that if 10% of agents you submitted to are requesting more to read than you are doing good.
 

Toothpaste

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I second Playground. My MG out this year begins with a boy who loves his life and is content.

That being said there needs to still be a reason THIS character has THIS story. If it's just some random kid who has a randim adventure well...who cares. Wendy went to Neverland because she was scared of growing up. The boy in THE NEST resents his sibling and that's why he has to save them. My MC, the boy with the lovely life, follows the rules so rigidly and needs to learn when not to.

maybe for your story it's not that the MC has a nice life, but that it doesn't feel like there's a purpose to the tale?

This is of course one reason based on your question. It might not be the right one. There could be something about the writing itself. Or it could simply be you haven't found the right agent for your work yet. Have you posted the first chapter in SYW?
 

t0dd

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Thanks for the responses.

I've had rejections from eighteen agents so far. (I've submitted to more than eighteen, actually, but some of them never replied - and I submitted to them a few months ago, which makes it most likely that they weren't interested.)

And the MC does indeed have a reason for this adventure coming to him - though that would give away too much.

I posted the first chapter at SYW a few years ago (early 2011, I recall). It's undergone a few rewrites since then, though.
 

JulianneQJohnson

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I agree that the book doesn't have have anything huge and angsty at the beginning. That said, there should be something happening. Finding out about the odd noise is fine, but is there too much world building happening during this? How's the opening paragraph? How is the query itself and has it been critiqued in query letter hell?
 

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Hmm . . . then it's really hard to say. All I know is the answer to your initial question here is "no" :) . But that's not really the real question, the real question is why are they rejecting it. That's not a ton of rejections, but it's still enough to think about why.

Are they rejecting just the query or the first chapters? Are you getting requests based on the queries at all? And are they saying anything at all when they do reject you? Anything personalised?

One thing I will say is from your description it reads like the story gets started maybe a bit too quickly, so maybe they are finding it rushed? Hard to say.

Maybe it's time to repost that first chapter and/or the query.
 
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MisterV

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I'll be following this discussion closely. In my inexperienced opinion, I would say no. When I was young, I read all the Redwall books. They all start in the Redwall utopia, basicly. I read a lot of books where life, if not great, just kinda meh, and then the world comes tumbling down on them. Seems neat, because for me it's more realistic. I actually think it is s great recipe - start out with a happy MC, then dump a 55 gallon drum of hell on them.

That is what I have done in my story, not to derail. But I also have a prologue that occurs 3000 years prior to the opening chapter that details a massive, horrific battle that nearly destroyed the whole world!
 

t0dd

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Hmm . . . then it's really hard to say. All I know is the answer to your initial question here is "no" :) . But that's not really the real question, the real question is why are they rejecting it. That's not a ton of rejections, but it's still enough to think about why.

Are they rejecting just the query or the first chapters? Are you getting requests based on the queries at all? And are they saying anything at all when they do reject you? Anything personalised?

One thing I will say is from your description it reads like the story gets started maybe a bit too quickly, so maybe they are finding it rushed? Hard to say.

Maybe it's time to repost that first chapter and/or the query.

Most of the rejections just said "Sorry, but this isn't for me". One expressed interest and asked to see a few chapters, but then wrote back and decided "On second thought, this isn't for me." (Some of my queries did include the opening chapter - when the query guidelines for that particular agent requested it.)

And, yes, maybe I'd better repost the opening chapter at SYW. (Just posted it there.)
 
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Patrick.S

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I also wouldn't read too deeply into the reason an agent rejects. Unless they give specifics to your story, it is likely a form response. Could be anything and SYW might help get to the bottom of it. You'll drive yourself crazy otherwise. Querying isn't for the feint of heart.
 

Kalsik

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A happy life at the start is fine, but there must be something happening. To keep your MC's life as 'stable' at the start, if you so wish, maybe play up the 'haunting' a bit more before he encounters the creature. A bit of intrigue can go a long way.
 

t0dd

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I was surprised to see the thread re-opened again, though thanks for stopping by and commenting. I've revised the opening chapter to allow a problem for the MC that's connected with his adventures. I don't know if that'll be enough; I wound up, because of all the rejections I'd had, putting it aside and writing a different MG fantasy (which does open with something happening - the MC and her family are moving into an old house, and the MC notices, as they're walking about in it for the first time, an old portrait of a girl from a few centuries back who bears an uncanny similarity to her and sets out to learn more about her....).