Hello everyone,
I am humbly seeking out beta readers for the first chapter of the fantasy novel The Shapeshifter's Score. This selection runs about 5,500 words and has a PG-13 rating. If anyone is interested, either post here or PM me and I will send you a google docs link. I am open and willing to trade chapters. Eventually, I will put more up, but I am concentrating on chapter one right now.
I am not seeking line edits, but if you see something annoying, I won't be offended either.
Right now, I am looking for what works and grabs interest, and what does not. Do the characters present themselves in a clear manner, is the description too much or too little, is the plot so far clear and well paced, etc... All the things an agent will be looking for later, I guess. Please give it to me honest and straight. Harsh critiques hurt, but they also help writers grow the fastest.
I know this a lot to ask from strangers on the internet, so I offer up my thanks in advance.
My "current" pitch from Query Letter Hell is below. If there are any questions or comments on the letter, please post them within that subforum. Thanks again.
The Shapeshifter's Score
by Locke581
Attn: Pre-screened agent,
As an investigator specializing in magical mysteries, Mikcaell has seen plenty of weird cases. Slaying monsters and unraveling wizard conspiracies are all in a day's work. After many years in law enforcement, he can easily see when the facts don't add up. While working a missing persons case, Mikcaell cannot help hearing the latest gossip buzzing among the locals.
The raja's palace has been burglarized. Despite all the walls and guards, dozens of rooms were infiltrated, and no one saw a damn thing. Disgraced, the chief of security has been pushed aside. A third-rate thief is in custody, and under torture has confessed to acting alone. It's all nice and simple and completely far-fetched.
At first, Mikcaell is hesitant when the daughter of the chief of security begs him to clear her father's name. From past experience, he knows there's a lot of risk going up against this foreign court that has already bought this “lone thief” fiction. Mikcaell may take a lot of pride in his profession, but there's still little motivation for getting involved.
The raja's justice, however misguided, is swift. The lone suspect faces execution in the morning. Mikcaell launches a midnight investigation to halt the proceedings. He gathers eyewitness reports of guards showing up in two places at the same time, which can only mean shapeshifters. And the barracks that all fell asleep at once? Magical knock-out gas. But the deeper he digs into the incident, the stranger it gets. An ugly secret from a century past is slowly wriggling free. All across town, dozens of common thieves are dying from ghastly venomous bites, and countless other bodies are disappearing from their graves. Time is slipping away, and Mikcaell is just one wrong step from annoying the powers-that-be and reserving his own spot on the docket.
This multi-POV fantasy is complete at 92,000 words, and will appeal to readers of Scott's Thraxas series. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Locke581
I am humbly seeking out beta readers for the first chapter of the fantasy novel The Shapeshifter's Score. This selection runs about 5,500 words and has a PG-13 rating. If anyone is interested, either post here or PM me and I will send you a google docs link. I am open and willing to trade chapters. Eventually, I will put more up, but I am concentrating on chapter one right now.
I am not seeking line edits, but if you see something annoying, I won't be offended either.
Right now, I am looking for what works and grabs interest, and what does not. Do the characters present themselves in a clear manner, is the description too much or too little, is the plot so far clear and well paced, etc... All the things an agent will be looking for later, I guess. Please give it to me honest and straight. Harsh critiques hurt, but they also help writers grow the fastest.
I know this a lot to ask from strangers on the internet, so I offer up my thanks in advance.
My "current" pitch from Query Letter Hell is below. If there are any questions or comments on the letter, please post them within that subforum. Thanks again.
The Shapeshifter's Score
by Locke581
Attn: Pre-screened agent,
As an investigator specializing in magical mysteries, Mikcaell has seen plenty of weird cases. Slaying monsters and unraveling wizard conspiracies are all in a day's work. After many years in law enforcement, he can easily see when the facts don't add up. While working a missing persons case, Mikcaell cannot help hearing the latest gossip buzzing among the locals.
The raja's palace has been burglarized. Despite all the walls and guards, dozens of rooms were infiltrated, and no one saw a damn thing. Disgraced, the chief of security has been pushed aside. A third-rate thief is in custody, and under torture has confessed to acting alone. It's all nice and simple and completely far-fetched.
At first, Mikcaell is hesitant when the daughter of the chief of security begs him to clear her father's name. From past experience, he knows there's a lot of risk going up against this foreign court that has already bought this “lone thief” fiction. Mikcaell may take a lot of pride in his profession, but there's still little motivation for getting involved.
The raja's justice, however misguided, is swift. The lone suspect faces execution in the morning. Mikcaell launches a midnight investigation to halt the proceedings. He gathers eyewitness reports of guards showing up in two places at the same time, which can only mean shapeshifters. And the barracks that all fell asleep at once? Magical knock-out gas. But the deeper he digs into the incident, the stranger it gets. An ugly secret from a century past is slowly wriggling free. All across town, dozens of common thieves are dying from ghastly venomous bites, and countless other bodies are disappearing from their graves. Time is slipping away, and Mikcaell is just one wrong step from annoying the powers-that-be and reserving his own spot on the docket.
This multi-POV fantasy is complete at 92,000 words, and will appeal to readers of Scott's Thraxas series. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Locke581
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