How to Know You're Old

I remember my mom and dad ordering a trip guide from AAA as a kid and the foldout pages of those things always amazed me - how did they know all these roads, attractions, restaurants, gas stations, and such existed and how on earth do you fold that thing back together?!?!

Jason said:

I remember my mom and dad ordering a trip guide from AAA as a kid and the foldout pages of those things always amazed me - how did they know all these roads, attractions, restaurants, gas stations, and such existed and how on earth do you fold that thing back together?!?!

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This reminds me of the AA route maps one used to be able to get back in the late 1940's early 50's when there were no motorways and few dual carriageways..

They were not graphic maps as such but typed instructions.

We would travel from London to Aberdeen with a full-size Shorthand notebook that covered the entire 500 miles with directions almost every hundred yards detailing all telephone boxes, traffic lights, roundabouts, signposts etc. the whole way except for straight stretches on the main road. No bypasses, so we went through each town on the way with, as already mentioned, directions every few yards. The front seat passenger had to read this thing out the whole route.

As kids we would want to be the one to read it out to Dad as he drove but after fifty miles it gets kind of boring.

And every time a uniformed AA motorcycle patrolman came the opposite way he would salute as he passed. Yes, they would, every time and to every car they passed with a yellow AA Member's Badge clipped to the front grille. One of these patrolmen saw us halted at the side of the main road. He stopped and asked what was the problem. Car fan belt had snapped, so he repaired it, saluted and sent us on our way.

Those were the days.

Oh, ETA - we drove a 1937 Vauxhall 12 four door saloon. Manual, with blue leather seats. Mum and Dad in the front two seats, and me and two sisters in the back. To keep flies or bugs away from the windscreen we had one of these plastic V wind-diverter things at the front of the bonnet. The back boot or trunk opened outwards and downwards to create a shelf on which dad placed a large wooden-banded trunk, which was covered in a tarpaulin to keep rain off, and then lashed tightly to the car with leather straps.

I still remember leaning forward and encouraging Dad to step on the speedo and we would all watch it creep up. YEAH! WOW! All cheers. A mile a minute!!

The car was bought by my Dad in 1937. His dad- whose name I bear- and mum both passed away from natural causes within hours of each other on the same day, two days before I and my twin sister were born.

I knew that car all my life until I think 1959 when Dad sold it for £25 and up-graded to a modern Automatic!!! I think he deserved it. I remember him sweating in the winter trying to manually hand crank the engine, with me sitting in the driver's seat trying to depress the accelerator at exactly the right moment to catch the engine when it turned. And also trying to adjust the petrol mix by pulling the Choke button!!

How to know you're old- Yeah- memories.

Nowadays we approach the car, open the door, sit down, press a button and drive away. Lights, heating, windscreen wipers- all automatic. Not even a key!!

You mean like a church key?

You know you're old when you get a loaner car and you hate the keyless entry because you can't check if the doors are locked unless someone holds the key fob away from the car, otherwise it unlocks when you get near.

When did a key change names to a fob?

Then there was that absurd feature of shutting off at every stop. WTF? Maybe Ok when the car is new, but what about as the car ages and doesn't instantly start? I think it's a trick so the car manufacturer can claim a lower MPG.

But I did love the backup camera. Now that's something I want. And maybe the parallel parking assist.

ooooh, yes- that reversing camera is brilliant.

Every time I put my truck in reverse, the backup camera engages on the dashboard. Or at least I think it does, because I have turned my head to look behind me.

Jason said:

Every time I put my truck in reverse, the backup camera engages on the dashboard. Or at least I think it does, because I have turned my head to look behind me.

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Oh dear, Jason. For some reason it really bugs me when I see folk (my neighbours included) squirming round and turning their head to look over their shoulder when reversing. Mirrors - especially wing mirrors - are there for a purpose - use them. It's far easier.

It's cataract surgery, Maryn, not a Kindle you need.

MaeZe, who's putting off the inevitable.

Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

I need more light these days. Mr. Siri, however, has become more photosensitive. Both of us have cataracts creeping up on us.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

The Nook makes all the difference for my reading comfort. I recommend, Maryn--Nook or Kindle, not sure it matters, just get one where it reads like a printed page but with a built in light. Being able to change font size is also a beautiful thing.

ap123 said:

Being able to change font size (on everything) is also a beautiful thing.

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FIFY! (You're welcome)

Lavern08 said:

FIFY! (You're welcome)

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Exactly!

Which one says you're older, changing the font size or zooming in on the screen? I do the latter usually.

When you stop to wonder if a joke about whether the above gyn increased the font or zoomed in is inappropriate.

When you walk up a flight of stairs to get something and can’t remember what it was when you get to the top.

But then when you get back downstairs and settle back in only to remember it was the foot massager because your feet hurt.

And decide it’s not worth going back upstairs a second time...

Saw a funny meme that stated the 4 ages of men:

Stage 1: You Believe in Santa
Stage 2: You Don’t Believe in Santa
Stage 3: You are Santa
Stage 4: You Look like Santa

Ho ho holy crap - I’m in Stage 4

At the end of your colonoscopy the doctor says you have a good looking, healthy, colon. Those words mean so much nowadays. Something I would never have even thought of fifty or sixty years ago.

When all you really want for Christmas is a good, healthy poop.

May your Christmas wishes come true!

You know you're old when you try to move the cursor to the top row of the keyboard to turn the volume down and it takes you a second to realize what you are doing.

Or maybe it's a symptom of isolation.