How to Know You're Old

Norman Mjadwesch

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Thunderstorm. Power goes out. Storm passes. Power remains out. Adult human being wants to make a phone call. Is informed by teenage human being that such a thing is impossible because of blackout. An attempt is made to educate teenager that phones can be used by plugging them into wall sockets. Teenager questions the intelligence of anyone who could believe such a ridiculous thing, this is just another one of those lies that are always being told because you think I’m stupid, with a pointed look at a particular tall human being of the genus Adultus geriatricus. Antique phone is produced. Teenager informs the entire world that those phones are even more useless than proper phones. Antique phone is plugged into wall socket. Phone call is connected. Conversation ensues using an archaic thing called a landline. Phone call is terminated. Teenager looks very foolish. Adultus geriatricus has the grace to disguise glee. But still feels old.
 

ap123

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Thunderstorm. Power goes out. Storm passes. Power remains out. Adult human being wants to make a phone call. Is informed by teenage human being that such a thing is impossible because of blackout. An attempt is made to educate teenager that phones can be used by plugging them into wall sockets. Teenager questions the intelligence of anyone who could believe such a ridiculous thing, this is just another one of those lies that are always being told because you think I’m stupid, with a pointed look at a particular tall human being of the genus Adultus geriatricus. Antique phone is produced. Teenager informs the entire world that those phones are even more useless than proper phones. Antique phone is plugged into wall socket. Phone call is connected. Conversation ensues using an archaic thing called a landline. Phone call is terminated. Teenager looks very foolish. Adultus geriatricus has the grace to disguise glee. But still feels old.

:ROFL:

One of mine didn't recognize a busy signal, asked what the sound was. I thought he was kidding.
 

MaeZe

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My landline doesn't work when the power's out. Must be because it's connected to a portable phone. I'll have to dig out an old phone to have next time in case I need it.
 

Maryn

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That's one of the reasons we still have a landline; our power was out for 13 days once, and the landline worked the whole time. (And I baked every single day--let's hear it for gas stoves!)
 

Norman Mjadwesch

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:ROFL:

One of mine didn't recognize a busy signal, asked what the sound was. I thought he was kidding.

Hmm, I will put my hand up for that one. When I started a new job twenty years ago, I had never used a fax until that time even though they had been around for ages. Every morning I would send stuff through to head office and sometimes would also need to use the phone. Since the phone and the fax both ran off the same line, all I could ever hear was this weird sound. There was never anyone else around to explain it to me, and it took ages for the penny to drop. Not adapting to technology is supposed to be an old people thing, so I was already showing the first signs of aging in my thirties. OMG, I have never told this to anyone before and if you all laugh at me I will scream.

Reception is poor where I live these days. The phone company sometimes rings to sell stuff but don’t believe me when I inform them that there is no reliable signal. Apparently the entire country has proper service, except for my house and my neighbours’ house (they need to walk 200 metres up the hill to make a call, with an especially weak signal when it rains. LOL they are older than I am, I imagine them holding a mobile with one hand and an umbrella with the other). For me it’s really bad during strong wind, so I too have to go for a walk up the hill. Oddly enough, it’s harder to hear a phone call when there is a gale blowing directly into your ear. Most of my friends don’t even bother answering their phones when they are visiting because calls get terminated as often as not before messages are full understood. But yeah, the phone company insists on peddling their version of the truth. Oh, and because landlines are a thing of the past, they are falling into disrepair. Oddly, the phone reps who receive complaints deny this, but enough of the technicians who visit your house are a bit sick of living the lie and just tell it like it is (off the record, of course).
 
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Albedo

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I work in an industry so technologically backwards it not only still uses fax machines, it uses pagers. how many other Millennials have used pagers? I feel special.
 

Michael Myers

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I once worked for a defense contractor in support of a Naval detachment. They (the Navy) had vessels that still relied punched paper tape. As in, the early days of the stock market and ticker tape machines. They were so damned pleased that I could make a VAX 11/780 produce 5-level Baudot encoded paper tape messages they gave me a special Navy award for civilians.

Um, you do know what a VAX 11/780 is, right?
 

Jason

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I once worked for a defense contractor in support of a Naval detachment. They (the Navy) had vessels that still relied punched paper tape. As in, the early days of the stock market and ticker tape machines. They were so damned pleased that I could make a VAX 11/780 produce 5-level Baudot encoded paper tape messages they gave me a special Navy award for civilians.

Um, you do know what a VAX 11/780 is, right?

child please...I programmed punch cards before VAX systems were built to automate the process
lol
 

Norman Mjadwesch

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When you sometimes have to waddle from side to side because your hip wants to try something different every now and then.

When walking to the stairs the long way around is quicker (and safer) than jumping over the veranda rail. When you barely remember doing the latter.

When the man who is selling you a pair of shoes makes you walk in a straight line for his camera thingy for whatever arcane reason, and on replay you can see yourself leaning to one side without any assistance from alcohol.
 

shakeysix

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I was watching an old rerun of Gunsmoke last night. I lived in Dodge City for 30 odd years. Our college theater was named after Milburn Stone --Doc. I have never thought he was the least bit attractive but LAST night I found myself musing-- "you know, Doc is kind of foxy for an older gentlemen. I'll bet there is more to him than white hair and suspenders..." AND THAT is how you know you are REALLYREALLY old. ---s6
 

Auteur

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child please...I programmed punch cards before VAX systems were built to automate the process
lol

Puh-leeze. When I started programming, we only had zeros. It was before ones were added.
 

Norman Mjadwesch

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I was watching an old rerun of Gunsmoke last night. I lived in Dodge City for 30 odd years. Our college theater was named after Milburn Stone --Doc. I have never thought he was the least bit attractive but LAST night I found myself musing-- "you know, Doc is kind of foxy for an older gentlemen. I'll bet there is more to him than white hair and suspenders..." AND THAT is how you know you are REALLYREALLY old. ---s6

LOL, I haven’t thought of that show in years! And since I was only a kid when I watched it I didn’t even really have the hots for Kitty. But you go and say stuff like this comment and I have to re-evaluate my life!!

“Mr Dillon, Mr Dillon, there’s a killin’ Mr Dillon!” (if quote is wrong, apologies, I may be misremembering it)
 

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Some professor friends have been talking about getting papers from students talking about events that happened in the 1990s or 1980s as the "late 1900s."
Ow, right in the gut.
 

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Some professor friends have been talking about getting papers from students talking about events that happened in the 1990s or 1980s as the "late 1900s."
Ow, right in the gut.

Daaaaang.

I had a friend who told me the story of her 50th birthday. She spent the entire day convincing herself that 50 really wasn't THAT old. She was still strong and healthy and energetic, after all. By the end of the day she was feeling much better about it and came home to discover her husband had bought her a birthday cake.

Written on the cake? "Happy half a century."

He was lucky to survive. :roll:

That was, to me, the worst/funniest story I ever thought I'd hear about word choice making someone feel old.

This one though, is right up there with it. LMAO!
 
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Kinsman

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Less than 10 years ago, I could start off my morning slow-and-gradual; knowing I had plenty of "gas in the tank" and feel energetic throughout the day. NOW, I rev the engine hard and fast in the mornings, as soon as my feet hit the floor, in hopes that early momentum can carry me through til lunch...
 

Jason

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Puh-leeze. When I started programming, we only had zeros. It was before ones were added.
I nearly spit out a sip of tea when I read that :)

Some professor friends have been talking about getting papers from students talking about events that happened in the 1990s or 1980s as the "late 1900s."
Ow, right in the gut.

This brought to mind the chicken McNuggets from Mickey Dee's - which were "invented" in 1984 - or the late 1900's....and my childhood predates the nuggets lol
 

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I still remember the elation I felt when my Dad finally broke down and bought that "new on the shelf" wired television remote with 20 feet of cord! LOL

regdog,

I still remember the days of snail mail, landlines and PAGERS! GASP! LOL! Imagine my age! ;)
 

MaeZe

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I nearly spit out a sip of tea when I read that :)



This brought to mind the chicken McNuggets from Mickey Dee's - which were "invented" in 1984 - or the late 1900's....and my childhood predates the nuggets lol

Mine predates McD's first restaurant. Well, not my whole childhood.