When the font on the new iPhone XR is still too damn small even after you’ve turned it to the highest setting and then zoomed in the display. Seriously...who can read that?!?!
How to Know You're Old
- Thread starter Maryn
- Start date
Kids ask, "Oh, are you taking a selfie?" and you say "No, I'm holding the phone at a distance where i can read it"... 
Kids ask, "Oh, are you taking a selfie?" and you say "No, I'm holding the phone at a distance where i can read it"...
But that's sweet! You are reaping the benefits of his warm thoughts about his grandmother. Enjoy it. The next repairman may think of you as just an easy mark.
The actual sign that you're old, is that you called the father-of-teenagers a 'kid'.
When you look at your desk and see your specs and accessories take up a third of the real estate:
Left third
1. Glasses
2. Eyeglass cleaning solution
3. Cleaning cloth
Center third
Laptop, bluetooth keyboard
Right third
Coffee cup warmer & cell phone, tethered to charging station
Bluetooth mouse
Moleskin notepad with ink pen, pencil, and eraser
Left third
1. Glasses
2. Eyeglass cleaning solution
3. Cleaning cloth
Center third
Laptop, bluetooth keyboard
Right third
Coffee cup warmer & cell phone, tethered to charging station
Bluetooth mouse
Moleskin notepad with ink pen, pencil, and eraser
When the snazzy, expensive laptop you bought for your eternally-youthful spouse is much appreciated, except he's seeking details on how to hook it up to a larger screen and a bigger keyboard because he can't freakin' see what he's doing.
(I've proposed a swap, but oddly enough, he doesn't want my older laptop with a larger screen and keyboard. Go figure.)
Maryn, who should have bought it for herself instead
(I've proposed a swap, but oddly enough, he doesn't want my older laptop with a larger screen and keyboard. Go figure.)
Maryn, who should have bought it for herself instead
When the copier tech on the phone asks you to read off the serial number on the back of the machine, and you have to snap a pic with your iPhone so you can zoom the numbers to read them.
It has advantages...
Ah, the advantages of having grey follicles.
I’ve decided to arrive at the pearly gates or the river Styx in a state of proper decrepitude.
It’s been 20 months since a haircut and shave. With a scowl, I can make people step out of my way and frighten children in grocery carts in front of me. I’m due for a new DMV photo in five months. I plan to sneer.
Ah, the advantages of having grey follicles.
I’ve decided to arrive at the pearly gates or the river Styx in a state of proper decrepitude.
It’s been 20 months since a haircut and shave. With a scowl, I can make people step out of my way and frighten children in grocery carts in front of me. I’m due for a new DMV photo in five months. I plan to sneer.
I've discovered I don't care how I look anymore. Used to I wouldn't go into town without wearing a nice pair of jeans at least with a buttoned shirt and shoes. This is probably from 40 years of going to work every day in a suit and tie; now I wear what I slept in and don't shave for several days. Like Monty above I probably scare children and old ladies. Going downhill fast.
Mr. Maryn allows me to correct his dress without being too crushed. ("Baby, what color do you think those pants are? Because you're wrong.")
I believe he grew a beard on retirement entirely so he could go days and days without a shave, not even to touch up. I like it well enough.
I believe he grew a beard on retirement entirely so he could go days and days without a shave, not even to touch up. I like it well enough.
I still hear it from time to time "You're not going to town dressed like that, are you?" or "That shirt doesn't match the pants." Oh well. I was only half kidding, but I am rather grungy at times. I still wear clothes with holes in them around the house, although Vickie chides me about it.
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Someone is borrowing the training facility for 2 days:
I started each day with a friendly reminder - Hi my name is Jason, I'm the resident trainer here in Denver. The AC is a bit wonky, so it'll be warm in the morning and cooler in the afternoon. Please dress accordingly. Also, the blinds are from circa 1980's and only half work, so please leave them closed as we like to keep the sun out so it can stay comfortable. Last but not least, the handle for the fridge is not firmly seated, so please open from the edge.
I came back in this afternoon to find:
The fridge completely broken because the handle came off and smashed through the glass.
The blinds were half open, but only because the turn spinners broke off on them
My statement half an hour ago:
"If the responsible parties want to step forward and accept liability for the damages, the rest can remain."
Suffice to say a group of full-fledged adults has just been escorted off the premises by the police and each company is sharing their portion of liability...
So, the end of the rant here is - you know you're old when a group of adults ranging in age from their 20's to 60's fail to follow your simple instructions.
I started each day with a friendly reminder - Hi my name is Jason, I'm the resident trainer here in Denver. The AC is a bit wonky, so it'll be warm in the morning and cooler in the afternoon. Please dress accordingly. Also, the blinds are from circa 1980's and only half work, so please leave them closed as we like to keep the sun out so it can stay comfortable. Last but not least, the handle for the fridge is not firmly seated, so please open from the edge.
I came back in this afternoon to find:
The fridge completely broken because the handle came off and smashed through the glass.
The blinds were half open, but only because the turn spinners broke off on them
My statement half an hour ago:
"If the responsible parties want to step forward and accept liability for the damages, the rest can remain."
Suffice to say a group of full-fledged adults has just been escorted off the premises by the police and each company is sharing their portion of liability...
So, the end of the rant here is - you know you're old when a group of adults ranging in age from their 20's to 60's fail to follow your simple instructions.
mf1438
Registered
Did you ever listen to 8 track tapes? Betamax or VHS? We used to look at 4 channels on the B&W TV set. Fox was not even a station yet. Life was so much simpler then. Boy how times have changed. 
Today, I used the word "kilobyte." For the first time since some of my coworkers were toddlers.
I still have some 8-track tapes. Played them in my 1967 Pontiac Catalina while courting my bride-to-be. I sure do miss that car.
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Off to college I didn't take a TV with me and was proud not to have one. Couple years out of college I was living in Richland, WA, when Mt St Helens erupted. Broke down and bought a TV to watch since the ash started to fall and driving closer was out of the question.
How to Know You're Old?
When 40-somethings start referring to you as "Ma'am"
… Not sure if I should be insulted, or whether I should milk it for all it's worth?
When 40-somethings start referring to you as "Ma'am"
… Not sure if I should be insulted, or whether I should milk it for all it's worth?
Black and White TV - Nostalgia
Ah, the black and white T.V. memories.
My first T.V. predated color broadcast by several years. Mine was a nice piece of furniture made by Capehart. The screen was about 25 inches. It was still working when I moved from the folk’s house. They gave it away and I lost track. I recall taking a small box of its vacuum tubes to Radio Shack and testing for the bad one. What brand was yours? Did it have horizontal and vertical hold?
It was that television that set my feet on the path that made me what I am. I ramble:
I grew up in the black and white era along the Lake Michigan shore between Chicago and Milwaukee. The old man planned for me to join the family food business right out of high school. It held little appeal for me. We had a tower antenna and could tune in all of the channels from both cities plus a few UHF stations. The family watched T.V. during dinner, usually Huntley-Brinkley. On Sundays, the Chicago station ran the G.E. College Bowl quiz show.
I inherited the Capehart T.V. in middle school. I discovered that the Milwaukee station broadcast the G.E. College Bowl on Saturday afternoon. I watched it and noted the answers. The next day, at dinner, I could casually toss off the occasional answer between bites of meatloaf.
“Boltzmann constant”
“Polovetsian Dance by Borodin”
I’d mutter these under my breath. I had to flub one now and then to make it convincing. Mom beamed and urged a college path. Dad thought I was just showing off. Mom won. I should have kept my mouth shut. My sister ended up taking over the business, selling it off and retiring to Maui.
Ah, the black and white T.V. memories.
My first T.V. predated color broadcast by several years. Mine was a nice piece of furniture made by Capehart. The screen was about 25 inches. It was still working when I moved from the folk’s house. They gave it away and I lost track. I recall taking a small box of its vacuum tubes to Radio Shack and testing for the bad one. What brand was yours? Did it have horizontal and vertical hold?It was that television that set my feet on the path that made me what I am. I ramble:
I grew up in the black and white era along the Lake Michigan shore between Chicago and Milwaukee. The old man planned for me to join the family food business right out of high school. It held little appeal for me. We had a tower antenna and could tune in all of the channels from both cities plus a few UHF stations. The family watched T.V. during dinner, usually Huntley-Brinkley. On Sundays, the Chicago station ran the G.E. College Bowl quiz show.
I inherited the Capehart T.V. in middle school. I discovered that the Milwaukee station broadcast the G.E. College Bowl on Saturday afternoon. I watched it and noted the answers. The next day, at dinner, I could casually toss off the occasional answer between bites of meatloaf.
“Boltzmann constant”
“Polovetsian Dance by Borodin”
I’d mutter these under my breath. I had to flub one now and then to make it convincing. Mom beamed and urged a college path. Dad thought I was just showing off. Mom won. I should have kept my mouth shut. My sister ended up taking over the business, selling it off and retiring to Maui.
I belong to a writer's group in my building, majority of the members are older than I by about 20 years. (this is not a fancy or "full service" building, but it is pretty large, so there's a big staff, and they all try to be nice and helpful to the eldest residents) The other day when going to the meeting, I got off the elevator and was behind another member who was paused with her walker--the porter was waxing the hall on that floor, and he stopped to help her navigate the slick section. I was standing and judging just how slippery it looked and how to step when the porter came back and took *my* arm to help me get down the hall.
The bigger shock? Realizing I was grateful for the assist. (yes, I've already done the broken pelvis/hip/ribs from a slip and fall)
*PS: my first tv was black and white, received as a thank you gift from the local bank for opening a new account. When did banks stop doing that, anyway?
The bigger shock? Realizing I was grateful for the assist. (yes, I've already done the broken pelvis/hip/ribs from a slip and fall)
*PS: my first tv was black and white, received as a thank you gift from the local bank for opening a new account. When did banks stop doing that, anyway?
How to Know You're Old?
When 40-somethings start referring to you as "Ma'am"
… Not sure if I should be insulted, or whether I should milk it for all it's worth?
That's the problem with "ma'am"! For me to say "miss" to any woman younger than I (which is all but three of the women I work with on a daily basis) seems sexist and patronizing, but to say "ma'am" risks insulting them for other reasons.
In the mid-80s, my parents bought a new TV, and chose a B&W because "We don't watch much TV, so we don't need a color one." They ended up paying more for a B&W set than a color one would have cost.
I was in college before I knew M*A*S*H was filmed in color. I thought they filmed it in B&W to look like a documentary.
Why is "Ma'am" insulting? I've done that all my life here in Texas and no one has complained yet. I think people are getting way too sensitive. How about a poll from the ladies here? 
Sometimes I feel like resigning from the human race.
Sometimes I feel like resigning from the human race.
Why is "Ma'am" insulting? I've done that all my life here in Texas and no one has complained yet. I think people are getting way too sensitive. How about a poll from the ladies here?
Sometimes I feel like resigning from the human race.
This is probably regional. If you live somewhere that "ma'am" is a term used for all adult women, it just is. But in other areas (like where I live) ma'am is reserved for older women.