Sound off on your LGBTQIA pet peeves!

Hey AWers!

Hopefully that title isn't misleading or insulting -- because that's the last thing I want. Here's what I DO want:

Your opinions on LGBTQIA characters in YA. I read an an article in Writer's Digest about how LGBTQIA characters are vastly underrepresented in YA lit, and as an ally to the cause, I want to change that. I didn't force any sort of sexuality on my characters to make it work for my story; one of them just happened to come out to me, and it worked. It also happens that she's a very powerful and central character, which is great, because I've been pro-equality my entire life. However, I don't want to come off as a buffoon and insult the LGBTQIA community (I suppose I'm part of it if "A" stands for "ally"???). I want to respect the community and its struggles, and I want this character to be realistic. I've found that in almost all of the YA lit I've read, when a character pops up and says, "I'm gay!", it's overdone and feels cringey and forced. My novel is light fantasy, and this culture is 100% pro-equality and a place where sexuality just is and it's not thought of as "wrong" or "unusual" or anything like that. It just simply is what it is, as I personally believe it should be.

So, friends, can you help me figure out how NOT to do this? What drives you crazy about LGBTQIA characters? What feels forced? What do you really like to see? So far, the mention of this character's sexuality was very much in passing, and there's no "ZOMG SHE'S GAY?!?!?!?!" from the narrator. I am seeking to not draw attention to it, because her sexuality doesn't define her, as I don't feel it should define anyone. I want her to be a strong example for LGBTQIA teens and someone they can look up to and relate to. Part of me, though, is feeling this tug between her and a male character as well, so I'm wondering if she's actually bi rather than just lesbian. However, I'm afraid of that being an eye-roller and an insult if she's not just gay. If that makes sense...?

Apologies for any blunders here. I do have LGBTQIA friends, but I don't feel I know enough to not mess this up.

Thanks, everyone!
~Monnrella

Samsonet said:

The "A" is for asexual/aromantic. Just identifying as "an ally" makes things less confusing.

My personal pet peeve is this plotline: the teen grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family/area, comes out as gay and immediately either is rejected by their family and church or cuts off all ties themselves. It's not really a problem with the plot itself so much as it's so common.

When LGBT characters are so underrepresented in general, having one plot be the most popular overshadows other possibilities: LGBT characters who find accepting churches, LGBT characters who are Muslim/Buddhist/etc., LGBT characters who choose to follow their faith's teachings on sexuality, LGBT characters who have their own problems that have nothing to do with homophobic church members...

...granted, this probably won't be a problem in your setting, but you asked.

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Oh, puke. Me, too. Can't stand that plotline. Just feels very trite. And I would like not to be trite.

I just read somewhere that "A" can be "ally" as well as "asexual," and I was like uh what? Thanks for correcting me. I should have vetted my "research" better.

Roxxsmom said:

I'm an ally as well, and I can't speak for anyone else in any case, but I think it would be nice if there were some stories about QUILTBAG youth who find accepting faith communities. Welcoming churches are out there, but an amazing number of people think Christianity (and maybe other religions too) in general has no place for gay, lesbian, transgender, gender non conforming etc. people who don't suppress that side of themselves or live celibate lives.

I'm not Christian myself, but I do think it's annoying that Christianity is automatically equated with conservative and restrictive social values. As if all Christians are fundamentalists.

One peeve I have is that speculative fiction often projects contemporary issues and attitudes about sexuality and orientation onto a fictional society that is very different in other ways, as if they've been universal across every time and place in real history. It doesn't sound like that's an issue for your story.

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Hey Roxx! Thanks for the comment. I have that problem with religion, too, especially when people call sexuality "a choice." Right. Or "a sin," another favorite of mine. Sigh.

My story is a portal story, with the bulk of the story taking place in the fantasy world. The inhabitants of the fantasy world have been able to travel back and forth from their world to "the Mainland" via portals, so they're similar to us because of that, but they also have their own unique identity, including a religion. But I'm not intending to do any of it in any sort of beat-em-over-the-head way, because I find that obnoxious. I mean, I already agree with equality, so I don't need someone preaching it to me. It's like going to see one of those depressing kids' movies where you think it's about penguins but it's really about the horrific things people are doing to the oceans and the environment in general. I got the message a long time ago; don't need to see it again. Anyway, this society is, I guess, what I envision a perfect society to be, with caring about the environment and being pro-equality, etc. But there's a war taking place because people were unhappy, which left room for a dictator to step in. And of course, there's magic. I wonder if my society is a little TOO perfect now....

Thanks again for the feedback. Very helpful.

Latina Bunny said:

I don't read much YA anymore, but a few common LGBT tropes that are commonly used in various media that I am getting tired of are: dead (or doomed) lesbians, "psycho/evil" lesbians, or dead/doomed and "psycho/evil" lesbians.

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Oooh, yes, the psycho lesbian!! Especially if she's a killer! That's actually what got me worrying about my work*, because I have heard of the psycho lesbian trope, and I recently finished a book where two straight girls developed romantic feelings for each other or SOMETHING and the one girl was sleeping with the BFF's boyfriend because she "wanted to feel what it felt like to be [other girl] by being with him" and then other girl killed her and whaaaaaat. No, thanks. I find this trope very bizarre.

*My concern was that I'd get all tropey, but not necessarily THIS wacky trope!

DarienW said:

Monnrella,

I like the idea of your world, and I think your heart is in the right place. Just write it like you intend and get some betas after. If your character tells you she's bi along the way, just go with it and get some feedback.

I'd like it if a few more of the "gay best friends" were more regular guy, and not always sassy. It can be fun, but not every gay man is a wit! Don't get me wrong, I do love a sassy guy, it would just be different and less expected. It's still better than nothing though.

I just like to think of people as people and write them as such, which sounds like what you're doing.

Good luck!

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Thanks, Darien! Much appreciated. This was really helpful. I agree about the gay best friend, too. They don't always need to be queens or flamboyant. People are people, and while sexuality makes us unique among almost all mammals, it need not define us. That's also what I'm hoping to achieve.

Tim Archer said:

There have been some good suggestions here. One that particularly irks me is the tragic queer character. As hard as it is to find LGBTQIA representation, it's even harder to find with a happy or satisfying ending. Imagine if EVERY straight character you ever read about ended up like "Brokeback Mountain."

Also, books that don't reveal that a character is queer until well into the work. While coming out is a big and important part of most LGBTQIA journeys, it'd be nice to sometimes identify with a character right from the start instead of having to go through the dance of guesswork like we usually do. Consider Dumbledore from Harry Potter. While still a great character, he could have been an excellent gay role model for the queer kids reading the series, but we didn't get a single hint of it until Rowling made the 'big reveal' after the whole series was published.

And finally, authors who stick in one LGBTQIA and make a mark in the diversity checklist. It's okay to have two, or three, or a group of varied LGBTQIA characters. We tend to travel in packs, even in rural areas.

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Love your ideas for your world, Roxx! That sounds really interesting.

Tim, I agree with you wholeheartedly about the Dumbledore thing. I remember reading about that and wondering, what the hell?! It seemed like such a bizarre add-on, and furthermore, what did it have ANYTHING to do with the story at all? As to having multiple LGBT characters, I'm glad you mentioned that. The MC's best friend's sister is also gay, and I worried that it would seem too "Look! I'm an ally! You should be, too! Listen to my not-so-subtle hints about equality!" My villain is based off of a historical figure, and I'm trying to make that subtle as well. No one likes to be beaten over the head. Gotta be sneaksy.

zmethos said:

In my YA novel, the protagonist has a crush on her gay best friend. (Sorry, yes, the gay best friend thing.) Yet when given the chance to have a hetero version of the same person (it's complicated, a fantasy novel), she chooses to keep her gay friend as he is. She turns down the chance at romance because the friendship is more important to her. She becomes his advocate in a sense.

My peeve is stories where LGBTQ characters are introduced and that's their entire plot line and defining characteristic. As if being LGBTQ were the only important or interesting thing about them and that's their entire lives--being gay takes up all their time or something.

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Love this idea in your novel. And agreed about characters where all they are is gay. That's why I tried to slip the sexuality bit in there sneakily. It's introduced by using foreign words that are part of the fantasy world's language. So when the character says, "Camdaa are for opposite, while nusia are for same," then a few lines later, "You'll meet my nusi," it's not supposed to be a big deal. Readers may notice; they may not. Then when the girlfriend and MC are interacting for the first time, there is a bit of "How did you meet?" talk. Maybe the reader will go, "SAY WHAT NOW?!" here. Maybe it'll still slip on by, and at the end they'll say, "Hey wait a second...I didn't realize she was gay!" It won't be like a Dumbledore thing, it'll be more, if you're paying attention, you'll see it. If you're not, and you don't realize till the end of the novel, well, that's perfectly fine too, because I can't say I'd really care if all of a sudden a friend of mine turned out to be gay. I'd be like, "Oh, cool." Not like, "Ooooooooh have you met any cute girls?! Who's your favorite actress??? I would soooooo be into Natalie Portman, you know, if I were that way​."

kuwisdelu said:

The other bit of world-building this does for you is that it tells the astute reader than your fantasy culture has a binary gender system, where the two binary genders are considered "opposite" rather than simply different, which has important implications in terms of gender roles and gender expectations, as well as how gender-nonconforming (including queer) characters and transgender characters are perceived in that culture.

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Ah, very cool. I didn't even think of it that way. I guess because I've never seen LGBT folks as "different." Cool. Thanks a ton for pointing this out. Makes me happy.

By the way, would you guys rather see a character who was just homosexual, or would you rather see bi? I can see this character going either way, but she ends up with another woman. Men would have been more her past. And I don't think it was an "experimenting" sort of thing or "I didn't know I was gay," because the society has, as kuwisdelu noted, a binary gender system. You start playing with cars a little girl, whatever. You dress up in dresses and want to be a princess as a little boy, whatever. And you can be damn sure their stores don't have kids' toys separated by gender and pink/blue shelving!

Basically I want to live here.