Length: ~78,000 words
Genre: SF, Psychological Thriller, Adult
Premise: Murdering his best friend was supposed to be simple. However, when Officer Jeila claims Kyshen's innocence, Kyshen finds himself in his friend's hometown, saving a boy who can't bleed from school bullies -- a boy who stands at the heart of a government conspiracy that threatens to tear both the Empire and Kyshen's own memories apart.
I'm getting ready to self publish this work and it's been through a few readers/editor already. However, having more eyes take a look at it would be useful. Feedback wise, I'm curious as to how you understand the story and the world (they are a complex knot of parallels), what you like/don't like (besides the dude who sexually harasses everything that moves; no one likes him), and general impressions of setup for the sequel (i.e. this is the first book in a series). I'm especially concerned about style balance, as I tend to favor heavy dialogue and sparse imagery.
Sample first chapters for the curious: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1p3d9BCZgPhXF0ZQ2D_pd5Fql3d7IciNvSUA3ZEeO-2Y/edit
PM me if you are interested. Or feel free to comment on why the above is of no interest to continue. Getting the first chapter right is hard, so I'll understand. If you are also seeking a beta reader, I'm open to swap stories as well, but please note, I can only commit to one at this time.
Genre: SF, Psychological Thriller, Adult
Premise: Murdering his best friend was supposed to be simple. However, when Officer Jeila claims Kyshen's innocence, Kyshen finds himself in his friend's hometown, saving a boy who can't bleed from school bullies -- a boy who stands at the heart of a government conspiracy that threatens to tear both the Empire and Kyshen's own memories apart.
I'm getting ready to self publish this work and it's been through a few readers/editor already. However, having more eyes take a look at it would be useful. Feedback wise, I'm curious as to how you understand the story and the world (they are a complex knot of parallels), what you like/don't like (besides the dude who sexually harasses everything that moves; no one likes him), and general impressions of setup for the sequel (i.e. this is the first book in a series). I'm especially concerned about style balance, as I tend to favor heavy dialogue and sparse imagery.
Sample first chapters for the curious: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1p3d9BCZgPhXF0ZQ2D_pd5Fql3d7IciNvSUA3ZEeO-2Y/edit
PM me if you are interested. Or feel free to comment on why the above is of no interest to continue. Getting the first chapter right is hard, so I'll understand. If you are also seeking a beta reader, I'm open to swap stories as well, but please note, I can only commit to one at this time.
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