Come up with a crazy lie about the previous poster

Kinzel

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Saw this as another closed thread so I decided to bring it back again! Come up with a crazy, creative lie about the previous poster. Just make sure it's not anything too personal. Besides that, banter on!

Come at me!
 

A.E.Fisher

The first draft of anything is shit
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Kinzel says this to every girl on his first date. He still wonders why no girl calls him back.

if a girl doesn't call jaus tail back promptly, he posts a "free puppies!" ad on Craigslist with her number on it.
 

13Clovers

it never ends
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Pseudonymous fights for puppet rights, but hasn't made headway yet.
 

jaus tail

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13Clovers has started a petition to make 13 a lucky number.
 

13Clovers

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When Jaus Tail kills his enemies, he vaporizes them with energy blasts. He thinks killing them this way is quite kind.