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It's occured to me that we as writers and consumers of media, particularly if we want to see more characters like us, are very adept at zeroing in like a laser on problematic portayals of LGBT+ characters. The shows that kill queer people, even when a particular death may fit. But we seem, in my mind at least, less prone to pointing out problematic romance in these same shows. So I thought we could talk about problematic LGBT romances, problematic romances done well, and romances that we found not to be problematic. And hopefully this thread can act as some sort of filter system for those of us who want to watch whichever of the above romances we feel like.
That said, I'll start:
Promblematic bad?
Klaine, or Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson from Glee are the epitome of this. Blaine jerks Kurt's feelings around when they first meet, accuses Kurt of cheating and later cheats for a really shitty reason, and in season three Blaine attempts to force himself on Kurt while drunk and showed no sign he would've stopped if Kurt hadn't been strong enough to fight him off. On top of this, the arc the writer makes when it comes to Blaine growing enough to deserve Kurt is pathetically weak. And viewers are expected to brush off attempted rape but forever hate a closeted/formerly closeted jock who learns to love himself and apologizes profusely for forcing a kiss on Kurt and generally making his life a living hell. Attempted rape vs. forced kiss (Let's be real. Both are sexual assault.) and bullying when one doesn't show any remorse and the other clearly hates what they did? And I'm supposed to cheer on the would be rapist? Nope. Nope. I do not ship characters that grow with self-centered assholes who have a half-assed growth arc. I refuse. I'd rather ship the victim and the bully if forced to ship either relationship.
Problematic not-so-bad?
I'll get back to you on this. There's so many problematic relationships that could potentially not be that bad if handled right, and the almost never get explored in favor of outright horrible ones it seems.
Good?
Xena and Gabrielle. Not officially canon, but they clearly love each other in my opinion and are willing to both kill and die to protect each other should they need to. Nomi and Amanita from Sens8 definitely make this part of my little list. A genuine and loving relationship between a trans woman and cis pansexual Woman of Color? I'm so freaking there it isn't even funny.
That said, I'll start:
Promblematic bad?
Klaine, or Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson from Glee are the epitome of this. Blaine jerks Kurt's feelings around when they first meet, accuses Kurt of cheating and later cheats for a really shitty reason, and in season three Blaine attempts to force himself on Kurt while drunk and showed no sign he would've stopped if Kurt hadn't been strong enough to fight him off. On top of this, the arc the writer makes when it comes to Blaine growing enough to deserve Kurt is pathetically weak. And viewers are expected to brush off attempted rape but forever hate a closeted/formerly closeted jock who learns to love himself and apologizes profusely for forcing a kiss on Kurt and generally making his life a living hell. Attempted rape vs. forced kiss (Let's be real. Both are sexual assault.) and bullying when one doesn't show any remorse and the other clearly hates what they did? And I'm supposed to cheer on the would be rapist? Nope. Nope. I do not ship characters that grow with self-centered assholes who have a half-assed growth arc. I refuse. I'd rather ship the victim and the bully if forced to ship either relationship.
Problematic not-so-bad?
I'll get back to you on this. There's so many problematic relationships that could potentially not be that bad if handled right, and the almost never get explored in favor of outright horrible ones it seems.
Good?
Xena and Gabrielle. Not officially canon, but they clearly love each other in my opinion and are willing to both kill and die to protect each other should they need to. Nomi and Amanita from Sens8 definitely make this part of my little list. A genuine and loving relationship between a trans woman and cis pansexual Woman of Color? I'm so freaking there it isn't even funny.