Worst movie ever?

Tinman · Mar 13, 2016

Hi everyone. I was in a discussion with another AW member about a movie now playing, and it reminded me of some of the worst movies I've ever seen.

In 2007 I took my wife to see Nicholas Cage's Ghost Rider movie. It took three years of begging after that, but she finally agreed to let me pick another movie. I picked the alien invasion movie, Skyline (hey, don't snicker, the previews looked good). I haven't picked a movie since then. I don't really watch straight-to-video movies, so those are the two worst I've ever seen -- with the exception of one other horrible movie that was so bad no one has invented adjectives bad enough to describe it. In the early 80s I went to a theater to see a movie about Charles Manson. I don't remember the name, or even why it was so bad, but it lasted only about 30 minutes and when it was over no one left their seats. The theater finally turned on the lights, signaling THE END, but everyone still remained seated. One look at their faces and I could tell they were as bewildered and angry as I was: Was that it? Was that the whole movie? We should've all stood in mass, raised our fists to the air and yelled, "Refund! Refund!" That one was the worst.

What is the worst movie you've ever seen?

josephperin · Mar 13, 2016

A.I

We went there expecting a Spielberg movie and kept telling ourselves, "It's going to get better any second now." It was excruciating.

Corsairs · Mar 13, 2016

If we're judging from a purely technical standpoint, then any number of shlocky straight-to-video films could fit the bill. But if we're factoring in the weight of expectation, then there is one and only one answer:

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

Star Wars was everything to me as a kid. A New Hope was my first ever movie. It shouldn't have been possible to kill my love for the franchise. Yet Phantom Menace managed the trick. It was like anti-entertainment: not only was it an awful experience, but it snaked tentacles through my happy Star Wars memories, corroding them at every touch.

I hate you, Phantom Menace. You are objectively the worst film ever.

auntypsychotic · Mar 13, 2016

I'm torn between "Killer Shrews" and "Manos: The Hands of Fate

leifwright · Mar 13, 2016

All those who have posted on this before me, and all those who will post after me are wrong, because the worst movie in the history of movies is:

Battlefield Earth

Thank you, I'll accept my award for winner of the thread now.

Shadow Dragon · Mar 13, 2016

The Happening. I'm fine with a so bad it's good movie, but this one was just boring as hell.

Kerosene · Mar 13, 2016

There's a ton of really shitty movies out there, so I'll be suppressing my opinion to ones that weren't objectively bad, but hard to watch.

World Trade Center is the only movie I've ever walked out of the theater from. Don't get me wrong, 9-11 was a terrible event. This movie was just shit. Nicholas Cage wasn't the biggest problem; the problem was the terrible storytelling with half the movie focused on two guys buried under rubble. You had to be one of those people who were either really troubled by the event or fully sympathetic to anyone involved to an insane degree to get anything from it.

The Last Airbender. Fuck M. Night Shyamalan.

maxmordon · Mar 13, 2016

Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny. Words cannot describe it. It cannot.

Tinman · Mar 13, 2016

leifwright said:
All those who have posted on this before me, and all those who will post after me are wrong, because the worst movie in the history of movies is:

Battlefield Earth

Thank you, I'll accept my award for winner of the thread now.

Lol!

Sedjet · Mar 13, 2016

To be fair, that Skyline movie did look good in the previews, but it really did suck. And The Phantom Menace, yeah. Jake Lloyd was it? He was just awful, though I suppose his lines didn't help. I watched the first six Star Wars movies recently and that one really sticks out as far as I'm concerned. (Um..am I the only one who didn't mind The Last Airbender?).

These are all good picks from everyone. I can't think of any of my own right now. Just wanted to vote for all of these ones...

telford · Mar 13, 2016

The remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still. The ghost of the original movie rolled over in its grave. Please, for the love of god, don't remake classics, hollywood. They're always shitty.

Filigree · Mar 13, 2016

I agree with all of these, for boring me or breaking my heart. But The Room is close to the perfect bad movie.

Brightdreamer · Mar 13, 2016

maxmordon said:
Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny. Words cannot describe it. It cannot.

Which version? The Thumbelina version's even worse than the Jack and the Beanstalk version.

Filigree said:
I agree with all of these, for boring me or breaking my heart. But The Room is close to the perfect bad movie.

I don't think I could've gotten through The Room without Rifftrax. (They've released the live commentary track as an MP3; apparently, one of the actors is blocking a full move-and-commentary release.)

It's really hard to pick objectively bad movies. There are so many ways a movie can be terrible.

For films I saw in theaters, I'd rank Flirting With Disaster (the only movie I ever wanted to walk out of, but was afraid to draw attention to myself by doing so) and Shadow of the Vampire (which has an interesting concept and artistic merit, but the ending is a complete and utter betrayal of everything in existence ever.)

Joe Versus the Volcano needs a mentioned. I think it was trying for deep symbolism, but it failed.

For MST3Ked movies (my chief source for cinematic crud), The Starfighters is unrelentingly plotless and boring, and Monster-A-Go-Go was just pasted together from scraps scraped off the film editor's shoes, I swear.

And for movies everyone else apparently loved but I hated, I'll say Pretty Woman. Out of four of us, only I stuck it out to the end. Cardboard acting, zero chemistry, and the "love story" was just a guy deciding it was cheaper to marry than keep paying hourly rates.

cornflake · Mar 13, 2016

AI is terrible, but Battlefield Earth is fantastic. That movie is one of the funniest things ever put on film. I saw that in the theatre with someone and we laughed so hard the row of seats was shaking, and one of us actually ended up sliding half to the floor.

leifwright · Mar 13, 2016

cornflake said:
AI is terrible, but Battlefield Earth is fantastic. That movie is one of the funniest things ever put on film. I saw that in the theatre with someone and we laughed so hard the row of seats was shaking, and one of us actually ended up sliding half to the floor.

Now I just got a mental picture of Travolta in alien drag, gritting his teeth at you and screaming "HUMANS!"

Roxxsmom · Mar 14, 2016

I saw a movie called Shogun Assassin some time in the 80s. It was told from the pov of a toddler whose father was on a vengeful rampage. It was pretty awful, but there were moments of hilarity.

Also, there was a movie that came out around the same time called The Sword and the Sorcerer, which was truly rancid. The opening scene shows a recently reanimated lich tearing the beating heart out of a man's chest, just cuz.

There was also the Red Sonja movie with Arnold in it (not as Conan), of course.

As far as movies that were bigger budget and meant to be good go, Krull deserves special mention. It was just horrific.

A cheesy movie that was actually quite fun was the Flash Gordon film with the Queen soundtrack.

Flash. Flaa aaash. Savior of the Universe.

After seeing that, my then boyfriend and I would joke that we were "testing the woodbeast" whenever we stuck our hands in a box or cupboard where my cat was hiding. If he bit, we'd say, "Kill me now and spare me the pain!"

Oh, god, and I just remembered Barbarella too, which was before my time, but we rented it on video.

Do I really have to give just one worst movie? I think I saw a lot of bad movies in my later teens because there wasn't really anything else to do before we were old enough to drink back then.

be frank · Mar 14, 2016

Totally agree with AI and The Phantom Menace. I'll add the only movie I've ever walked out of: Mars Attacks!

Ugh. So, so bad.

eyeblink · Mar 14, 2016

None of these are anywhere near the worst movies ever made. They're not even the worst major-studio releases I've ever seen - that dishonour goes to a tie between Look Who's Talking Too and Street Fighter, where even basic competence comes into question.

I saw They Saved Hitler's Brain on its one and only UK TV showing, in a "Worst of Hollywood" series Channel 4 put on in 1984, each one presented by Michael Medved and with captions appearing on screen highlighting the "good" bits. Sometime in the early hours, about an hour into They Saved Hitler's Brain there flashed up, "Is anyone still awake out there?"

This is the worst film I have ever seen. Although I'm told Manos: Hand of Fate is even worse.

Rebekkamaria · Mar 14, 2016

My TOP 3 least favorite movies ever are:

1. The Postman
2. The Scorpion King
3. Van Helsing

I don't include bad movies with low budgets because that's not fair (or fun).

Quillandink · Mar 14, 2016

You pop the disc from its case and slide it onto the DVD tray. Loaded, you settle back and press play. From that moment the experience of Columbus Day (Val Kilmer) drops off a cliff.

Diana Hignutt · Mar 14, 2016

I'm not sure AI is a bad movie, but it is relentlessly depressing, and I hated it.

robeiae · Mar 14, 2016

Corsairs said:
If we're judging from a purely technical standpoint, then any number of shlocky straight-to-video films could fit the bill. But if we're factoring in the weight of expectation, then there is one and only one answer:

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

I disagree. On that basis, I find Titanic to be far and away the worst movie ever (with Far and Away close behind). By the end, I was praying for the iceberg to win.

The only movie I ever walked out on in a theater is Mel Brooks' To Be Or Not To Be. Forty-five minutes in and there wasn't a single laugh, not even a chuckle or a half-smile. I can't say it's the worst movie ever because I've never seen the rest of it.

bombergirl69 · Mar 14, 2016

Well, i'd nominate Open Water - a movie basically about watching chum--a couple left behind by a diving boat. I can tolerate a fair amount of camp but Open Water was just so relentlessly horrible I was really angry about the 90 or so minutes of my life I'd never get back. Words cannot capture its awfulness.

bombergirl69 · Mar 14, 2016

Brightdreamer said:
And for movies everyone else apparently loved but I hated, I'll say Pretty Woman. Out of four of us, only I stuck it out to the end. Cardboard acting, zero chemistry, and the "love story" was just a guy deciding it was cheaper to marry than keep paying hourly rates.

hated hated hated that movie!!!

Gilroy Cullen · Mar 14, 2016

leifwright said:
Battlefield Earth

Kerosene said:
The Last Airbender. Fuck M. Night Shyamalan.

be frank said:
Mars Attacks!

Check, Check, and Check

Tinman said:
Nicholas Cage's Ghost Rider movie.

I thought it was decent, though I didn't go in with comic book fan expectations.

Sedjet said:
(Um..am I the only one who didn't mind The Last Airbender?).

This one I did go in with expectations. The cartoon series ROCKED! and the entire live action thing ruined many of the elements. Please, when you can't even pronounce the names right? Toast.

Roxxsmom said:
I saw a movie called Shogun Assassin some time in the 80s. It was told from the pov of a toddler whose father was on a vengeful rampage. It was pretty awful, but there were moments of hilarity.

You should try Shogun Soccer. About as Cheesy.

eyeblink said:
None of these are anywhere near the worst movies ever made. They're not even the worst major-studio releases I've ever seen - that dishonour goes to a tie between Look Who's Talking Too and Street Fighter, where even basic competence comes into question.

What? Not including Three Men and a Little Lady on this list too? *shudder*

Worst movie ever?

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