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Thread: How to explain why I'm not a Christian

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  1. #1
    Always curious. juniper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Forever on the island

    How to explain why I'm not a Christian

    I hope the title doesn't sound confrontational. It's not meant to be. It's just my dilemma.

    My husband is a Christian. I am not. I was, but not actively, when we married, but within a few years I dropped that identity. I moved to the Unitarian Universalist church because I couldn't believe that there was only one way to God, the Divine Power, the Universal Energy, whatever your phrasing.

    I grew up Christian, in a Southern Baptist congregation. My mom was church secretary. The pastor who came in when I was about 9 was a fire and brimstone preacher. My husband grew up Christian and continues worshiping that way. He's actually a rather vital member, an Elder, on the missions committee, liturgist, helps with summer Bible kids school, etc at a lovely smallish Presbyterian church.

    I don't attend church with him. I've gone a handful of times, for special events, but have felt like a fraud. He wishes I would, but regular attendance would, to me, imply my allegiance to Christianity.

    Recently I was diagnosed with a serious illness and had surgery. My husband gathered much strength from his church family and they brought over food etc. I wanted to thank them for their support of him so went to church with him today. And faced the question, both overtly and covertly asked, "Why don't you come to church with him?"

    It seems abrupt and even churlish to say, "I have different beliefs" or something similar. "I find it too limiting as to the nature of the Divine" sounds as if I am disrespecting Christianity, and that's not my intent.

    I've discussed this a couple of times with husband, and previously my job schedule had me working Sundays around noon, so that was our excuse. But now I'm not working due to illness, and when I do go back I will probably have a Monday-Friday schedule, so no easy out excuse.

    While I'm using my church visit today as the catalyst for this thread, this question extends to other circumstances as well. A co-worker was amazed a few years ago when I mentioned, during some conversation, that I wasn't Christian. I think I may be one of the few non-Christians she's ever known. In USA, Christianity is the default.

    Could you help me come up with a good, respectful response to the question of why I don't go to his church? Or for other people who ask, why I'm not a Christian? Thank you.
    Last edited by juniper; 08-17-2015 at 07:37 PM. Reason: typo!

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