I don't think anyone is waiting on the edge of their seats to hear what I thought about the various "space poetry" contest entries. Still, I spent a few hours of my life with these poems so I would like to make a few comments about my favorite lines and stanzas from each poem. Not critiques, just pointing out things that I enjoyed about each poem. All in all this was quite an enjoyable experience.
Note: I copied everything over to notepad and then over to my WP of choice (PageFour, not that you asked) and then back to notepad then into a post here in the forum. The formatting of the quoted material loses some line spaces occasionally. Please don't shoot me.
1. Limited Space
shakeysix
Circle of blue flowers.
Endless, vexing hours.
Dust, sage, tickseed stars,
Rusted Santa Fe chain
Bounds my cramped domain.
Race you to the boxcars!
I could actually see and smell those boxcars, the dust and the sage.
2. Hunger
zarada
I swooped down to gorge upon the limbs,
the soft flesh of the underbelly,
stringy muscles between the shoulder blades.
I gulped it all, gluttonously, unadulterated,
raw as it was down to cartilage and sinew,
to brittle bones, to the end. and still,
Visceral imagery like this is hard to pull off because a really richly detailed stanza like this can easily overwhelm the rest of the poem, make it look inferior by comparison. Not the case here, and the ending was solid as well.
4. Explorer’s End
thehairymob
Each jump spreads
the spiders web.
An awesome line/stanza in the context of a fantastic SF poem. I was in an awful quandary regarding the poems in this contest that explored actual "outer space" space, or were otherwise obviously SF in nature because most of my own poetry fits into those categories. I had to make a conscious effort to remain objective and let every poem exist in its own "space."
5. Finding Ancestors on the Internet
Demeter
I'd have to quote the whole dang poem. Everything fits together seamlessly, line-by-line and stanza to stanza.
6. Untitled
jst5150
And then, we rise, our glances bump
I love the use of "bump" there, instead of "meet" or "cross" or some such. It perfectly conveys the feelings that the poem instills up to that point.
7. Appalachian Playlist: Mahler
lacygnette
Morning blue huddled
under the long green vista
repeats on distant mountains.
This is another one where I could nearly quote the entire poem. The stanza I lifted out just forms such a beautiful image in my head...the entire poem employs some rich, beautiful language.
8. Give Me Space
Ambrosia
you say it's time
to abandon ship
but there's only one
spacesuit
and you're wearing it
This was one of my picks, I don't mind saying, and a lot of it came down to the amount of dramatic tension packed into those five short lines. I was delighted to learn that Ambrosia had written it.
9. Notification of Recall
kennyc
___This can result in unwarranted exponential
feedback causing a situation where
the endpoint of a given travel segment
is outside known space and time.___
The whole poem was a lot of fun to read. This explanation for the recall put a grin on my face.
10. The Infinity of Minutes
William Haskins
Convinced that the world would cease to exist
precisely at six thirty-three,
she conjured her courage, balled up her fist
and knocked the sun into the sea.
I don't know why I didn't guess that this was Haskins. It seems so obvious now that I know. I think it was because on the first read-through I had myself convinced that our Absolute Sage had penned another poem (not saying which one). Anyway, the poem was about as dismally and depressingly brilliant as we have come to expect from William. As a poet who consciously strives to pack the biggest amount of image and meaning into the fewest amount of concise, vivid, perfectly chosen words...my envy of William's talent for doing the same borders on outright jealous hatred.
11. The Wonders of Space
(anonymous)
Space doesn't suck, but a black hole does.
The moon's first visitor was a bro named Buzz.
To infinity and beyond into space
because that's what NASA does.
"Space doesn't suck, but a black hole does." Need I say more? No, I think not.
12. Making Space
Kylabelle
And on she sings,
spinning the invisible
out of nothing.
I'm a sucker for lines like this. The whole poem was richly illustrated with images sometimes gritty and sweaty, sometimes surreal. I suspected that it was Kylabelle's work but I was not 100% sure.
Perhaps that is how
it is done.
Kay-belle, since you said that you don't mind people's thoughts about your poem, my thought is that I like the poem better if you cut that bit of fluff quoted above and let the poem rest on that bit of brilliance quoted even further above.
13. Goodbye
Cariad
Here again I'd have to quote the whole poem, but did you notice that the whole thing was formatted in such a way that the poem was sort of "shaped" like a staircase? Interesting, given the subject matter of the poem. A staircase leading up to what? Or is it leading down? I wonder if that was intended, or if I am just projecting.
14. Selene’s Respite
Sarita
___But the moon returns
like a torch to
usher in the balm
of night(...)___
Gorgeous. That's what made judging all these poems so difficult. Every poem had something in it, some idea or beautifully penned line or stanza, that drew me back for further reading and consideration.
15. No Title
PoeticRendezvous
The contrast/comparison between an "8' X 2.5' hole" and a "cervical exit" was awesome.
16. To Vanquish Space
rhymegirl
I'll admit that it took me a few reads to warm up to this one. Not due to any lack of talent on the poet's part, but because I am instantly suspicious of any poem that has a conspicuous rhyme scheme. It is so easy to start forcing words into positions where they really don't belong for the sake of maintaining the "scheme." I very much like the way that the last stanza ties the whole poem together and brings it to a good, solid conclusion.
17. In Admiration of Chandra X
Magdalen
in telescoping visionary flashbacks
(simulating 60’s-style sensory
overload) while celestial swells pulse
I can't BELIEVE I didn't guess this was Mags! It is so obvious, now that I know. The psychedelic imagery here and throughout the poem is as much metaphor as it is description, imo.
18. Dear Sir
Katol
___I've 'eard the man's been put on ice
'til t'solution 'as been found.
Is his Rolls Royce goin' with him?
Is that why 'e needs more ground?___
And the winner is! The above stanza made me laugh.
19. Narcissus
C.bronco
he plain is lit behind us,
As always, the regret
Of not running faster before.
This, and the last three lines of this poem, had this haunting echo of sadness, regret, and of things passed by or left behind.
20. strangers in ennui
_city_
but you’re tired
like always
and i’m hungry and not hungry
and it’s late
and i haven’t replaced the light bulb by the armchair
and you never wear eyeliner
and i could order in
but it won’t be caviar and strawberries and shrimp cocktail and omelets and chocolate and crème brûlée
For the first few reads I found the constant repetition of "and" very off-putting. Eventually I came to appreciate how the drone of that word/sound in my head underscores the ennui that the narrator feels. A plodding, tedious, restless desire for some unknown.
21. Personal Space
Bolen
___In any language, the phrase: “I’ll get to it
Later”, will earn a whipping;
A pretty bad whipping.___
Not sure why the repetition in this stanza struck me, then a few reads later I realized that this was the point in the poem where I actually heard the "voice" of the poet in my mind...heard tones and inflections rather than just a dry recitation of words and images. Once I had that cadence/tone stuck in my head I went back to the beginning and reread the poem, and it took on much more depth and dimension.
22. Space
Stylo
I'd planned what to do with the newly spare room --
My enthusiasm was a lie.
The simple raw truth in this stanza--as pertains to the poem's overall narrative--is refreshing. In a poem like this I would probably try too hard to come up with some fancy image to convey pathos and longing and totally miss the crisp perfection of the empty room.
23. What Lies Out There
TheCthulist
The stars are oblivious, Planets care less.
Living and dying, Exist in excess.
And still they march, Ten million strong.
As billions more, Stretch on and on.
I thought this section served the poem well, given that the point was to show the unrelenting vastness of space.
24. The Journey Back
Steppe
Once in our house there were old photographs,
some well-read books,
and a warm lamp.
In knew when I read this opening stanza it had to be Steppe, or maybe Texas Poet. I suspected the latter, oddly enough, because the overall poem seemed a bit lengthy and wordy for a Steppe poem. Good to see him stretch his artistic muscle a little bit.
25. The Party’s Over
kborsden
I guess the party's over now, glasses
clink as they're collected--adding song
to background chatter while a dying Summer
turns it's back too soon.
I guessed the poet correctly on this one almost before I finished the first read. Kie's fingerprints are all over this delightfully achy piece, from the deft use of season metaphor right down to the artful inclusion of cigarettes to inject a certain jaded cynicism.
26. Galilee
rwhegwood
There was no place in the home system
For simple folk with simple ways.
We would not change to suit their vision.
We could not yield to Anarch's sway.
"There was no place in the home system" stands out in that it is apparently the "space" tie-in.