Opening Paragraphs - 150 Words

Writing Skills · Jul 5, 2015

I've been writing and rewriting the opening paragraphs to an article, and I'm not sure that it's good enough yet. Your feedback is appreciated.

There is no substitute for the right tool. Have you ever tried to change a flat tire without a tire jack? If so, then you know the importance of tools. The good craftsman, whatever his trade, makes certain that he carries the right implement in his toolbox.

As a writer, you carry a toolbox. This toolkit is not as obvious as the one carried by a construction worker, but the toolbox for a writer is optimal. There are four main tools at the disposal of a writer. The first tool is vocabulary, the second implement is grammar, the third one is punctuation, and the fourth tool is search engine optimization (SEO). All four tools are used to manage website content.

cornflake · Jul 5, 2015

Writing Skills said:
I've been writing and rewriting the opening paragraphs to an article, and I'm not sure that it's good enough yet. Your feedback is appreciated.

There is no substitute for the right tool. Have you ever tried to change a flat tire without a tire jack? If so, then you know the importance of tools. The good craftsman, whatever his trade, makes certain that he carries the right implement in his toolbox.

As a writer, you carry a toolbox. This toolkit is not as obvious as the one carried by a construction worker, but the toolbox for a writer is optimal. There are four main tools at the disposal of a writer. The first tool is vocabulary, the second implement is grammar, the third one is punctuation, and the fourth tool is search engine optimization (SEO). All four tools are used to manage website content.

Hi -

To post your work for critique, you need 50 posts. Additionally, work you'd like feedback on should be posted in the Share Your Work section (password: vista)

Not for nothing, but are you asking for help writing a post on your website that purports to teach people how to write?

Writing Skills · Jul 5, 2015

I didn't know that you needed 50 posts to have your work critiqued. As far as my website is concerned, I don't teach people to write. I market that section of my website to people who want content created for their website. Where's a better place to get feedback on my writing than a writers forum?

Helix · Jul 5, 2015

But you've already had this piece reviewed by a writers' forum.

Writing Skills · Jul 5, 2015

I haven't gotten much feedback on this excerpt. I'm looking for a consensus. People have different opinions. One poster tells me to lead with a declarative sentence, and another poster tells me to lead with a question. It can be frustrating.

poetinahat · Jul 5, 2015

Writing Skills said:
I didn't know that you needed 50 posts to have your work critiqued. As far as my website is concerned, I don't teach people to write. I market that section of my website to people who want content created for their website. Where's a better place to get feedback on my writing than a writers forum?

Well, now you know. There's an entire Writing Lab section of the forum dedicated to asking for feedback.

The point of the fifty-post requirement [poetry excepted] is to get people to engage in the community before asking them to invest their time and effort in a critique. Crits take time, and it's not really fair on the members to show up, take their feedback, then leave without helping the next writer or doing anything to sustain the community.

That's the thing: this is a community, as opposed to a review service. It might be more than you want, but it could be more than you hoped for.

In any case, come on in, get to know us, and then ask for crits.

Writing Skills · Jul 5, 2015

poetinahat said:
Well, now you know. There's an entire Writing Lab section of the forum dedicated to asking for feedback.

The point of the fifty-post requirement [poetry excepted] is to get people to engage in the community before asking them to invest their time and effort in a critique. Crits take time, and it's not really fair on the members to show up, take their feedback, then leave without helping the next writer or doing anything to sustain the community.

That's the thing: this is a community, as opposed to a review service. It might be more than you want, but it could be more than you hoped for.

In any case, come on in, get to know us, and then ask for crits.

Thanks

Jamesaritchie · Jul 6, 2015

Sounds like you read Stephen Kong's On Writing.

veinglory · Jul 7, 2015

This is not the workshop area, and there is not going to be a consensus.

If I was going to list the four things every writer needs it would not include anything on your list. Three are too specific and micro-level and one is irrelevant to most writers.

Opening Paragraphs - 150 Words

Writing Skills

cornflake

practical experience, FTW

Writing Skills

Helix

socially distancing

Writing Skills

poetinahat

say it loud

Writing Skills

Jamesaritchie

veinglory

volitare nequeo