The Daily Rejection, Vol. 2

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Still not sure on what I want to do. But I got a day to figure it out

Antonin, it's hard to say. When I'm in a pissy mood with my husband, anything could set me off. The nicest gesture could set me off if I've decided "being too nice" is one of his faults! (I have far fewer of these moments after 22 years of marriage, thank God). The flowers probably wouldn't hurt, esp. if you found your wife's favorites. I agree with everyone about not lying about the car. In general, though, it's hard to say what could heal things vs exacerbate them; it's so subjective to each person and their situation. I would recommend open and honest communication, with lots of listening and validating of her feelings and very little defensiveness while explaining your side of things, and if that fails, I expect a good, licensed marriage counselor would be helpful. I hope the date turns out well for both of you.

Antonin, personally I'd be more positively impressed by the effort of cleaning your car than borrowing your mom's. Flowers might be nice, but keep them low key. I'm basing that on your statement about her thinking you're overbearing—trying too hard and going overboard with candy and flowers could easily feel like that. And what RE said about listening is good, too. Good luck, I hope it goes well!

Still in a haze of cold medicine, so popping by just to wish Antonin good luck with his date! I agree with everything JJ said, BTW. Be sincere, be open, be YOURSELF to remind her of all the good things that made her want to marry you in the first place.

Antonin--I also agree with everything JJ said and what RE said about listening. I really hope it goes well for you, and if things don't seem to be headed in a good direction, I think the suggestion of unbiased 3rd party help is a good way to show you're willing to work on things.

Thanks again everyone.

Here's an update on my date: on the way to pick her up, my car's tire rusted off!

Wa waaaa

Ah, tow truck is here.

Aw, what luck, Antonin! Hope everything turned out okay.

I have decided to go to my very first writing conference! Seems like people have a lot more luck making connections than just cold querying. I know cold querying can work, but I have not shown much talent for it. Plus could be fun to meet other writers (or, you know, totally terrible because I'm like 99% introvert). Anyway, I found one at the end of the month in Vegas. Couple agents I am interested in will be there, and looks like some interesting panels and stuff. Plus Vegas is easy to get to--either a 6ish hour drive or a 1 hour flight, haven't decided if I'll drive or fly. And it's the perfect time for MS6 since I should just be getting ready to query/pitch it then. So. Totally not going to freak out about dropping so much money on my writing habit...

Revisions are going okay. About halfway done. A little bit at the point where I do not know if I'm making anything better and freaking out a little, but also pushing through with good momentum. I've been working on it every day, 6 AM on weekdays, so I am hoping to finish soon!

Antonin said:

Thanks again everyone.

Here's an update on my date: on the way to pick her up, my car's tire rusted off!

Wa waaaa

Ah, tow truck is here.

Click to expand...

Oh jeez, and here I encouraged you to use your car. Did y'all manage to go out anyway? Maybe she found your efforts going wrong oddly endearing? Or something?

We still managed to go.

It went both really well and really poorly.

On one hand she mentioned splitting our bank accounts. And then getting a divorce in order to start all over(?).

On the other she responded very well to hand holding and the one hug and kiss.

for you, Antonin.

Netz said:

for you, Antonin.

Click to expand...

More hugs.

Oh, man! Sorry, Antonin.

You guys, I think 2016 is broken. Can we start over?

I'm on board with that. This year can suck rocks.

Yeah, for myself, I expect major rejection devastation coming on this year--a real battle royal. In my case, I've written and polished way too many books that are ready for sub and not enough time to get them out. "Write another book" doesn't apply to me anymore. I'm on book #10 and that's going to be it. I'm going to coordinate with agent to help out any way I can. At the least, she let's me do research and find appropriate publishers. She has everything under control, but I feel so damn hopeless at times. You know, that "hurry up, hurry up" thing?

This business is glacial, and there isn't a damn thing we can do about. I guess, take solace in that we're all enduring the same feelings and doubts. It doesn't matter what kind of sub you're on, at least you ARE out there.

I got an email from Beth about my gypsy question. Answer was basically :shrug: lol

She seemed cool with it but suggested that since it's a Twitter pitch and a lot of context is lost its probably best to use a different word or hope people catch the use of OWN

Big , Antonin. Sorry about the non-response response on the pitch.

I registered for my writing conference! Can't believe I am finally going to one. Eek! All the sudden now I'm freaking out. I have to pitch? In person? Ack ack ack. Okay I have 16 days to finish this revision!!

The good news is that I finished the second POV this morning. I would say I'm like 4/7 done, since I have to do the last POV and then do a final pass. I started this revision 6ish days ago, so I don't think it will be too hard to meet my new deadline, it's just a little bit more pressure!

triceretops said:

Yeah, for myself, I expect major rejection devastation coming on this year--a real battle royal. In my case, I've written and polished way too many books that are ready for sub and not enough time to get them out. "Write another book" doesn't apply to me anymore. I'm on book #10 and that's going to be it. I'm going to coordinate with agent to help out any way I can. At the least, she let's me do research and find appropriate publishers. She has everything under control, but I feel so damn hopeless at times. You know, that "hurry up, hurry up" thing?

This business is glacial, and there isn't a damn thing we can do about. I guess, take solace in that we're all enduring the same feelings and doubts. It doesn't matter what kind of sub you're on, at least you ARE out there.

Click to expand...

Okay, this part made me feel better. Thank you, tri.

noranne said:

Big , Antonin. Sorry about the non-response response on the pitch.

I registered for my writing conference! Can't believe I am finally going to one. Eek! All the sudden now I'm freaking out. I have to pitch? In person? Ack ack ack. Okay I have 16 days to finish this revision!!

The good news is that I finished the second POV this morning. I would say I'm like 4/7 done, since I have to do the last POV and then do a final pass. I started this revision 6ish days ago, so I don't think it will be too hard to meet my new deadline, it's just a little bit more pressure!

Click to expand...

I'm so jealous! I saw that conference right after I booked my flight to Portland that same weekend. Hopefully there'll be more in the (relative) area this summer.

noranne said:

Big , Antonin. Sorry about the non-response response on the pitch.

I registered for my writing conference! Can't believe I am finally going to one. Eek! All the sudden now I'm freaking out. I have to pitch? In person? Ack ack ack. Okay I have 16 days to finish this revision!!

The good news is that I finished the second POV this morning. I would say I'm like 4/7 done, since I have to do the last POV and then do a final pass. I started this revision 6ish days ago, so I don't think it will be too hard to meet my new deadline, it's just a little bit more pressure!

Click to expand...

Ah, a writing conference sounds great! In case this isn't obvious (it probably is, and I'm probably being silly): practice that pitch. Write it up, practice speaking it out loud a few times. I learned my lesson after trying to pitch my a ms to my agent without preparing properly--I failed miserably. I also learned my lesson when I did prepare well for my practice tour as a docent and did well.

Also, congrats on the progress. Keep on pugging.

Noranne - Hope you have an excellent time at the conference. Remember, it's not just about pitching. It's about bonding with your fellow writers and picking up new tips and tricks for writing.

I'll actually be going to a conference next weekend, though my MS is not revised yet. I'm teaching a class with a fellow author. It shall be glorious fun.

man, Antonin.... just lots of hugs. my smilies aren't showing to use here.
tough call about the DVpit terminology. I don't know if it means dividing your pitches with both terms, always putting OWN in them.

Moonchild feel better~

been lost in tailoring my DVpit pitches.

Talked to my agent today. We've received two R's on the series pitch, however, I'm not sure why he even sent it to them. After looking them up online, they don't even publish what I do, so it's a head scratcher and I'm not upset at those particular R's. The remaining three publishers absolutely produce stuff like mine, so I'm hoping on those. We should hear soon, like within a week or two.

Meanwhile, Moonchild has given me her cold. I was sick all February and half of March, so I'm very unhappy with her. Shame on you, Moonie!

noranne and Talana - yay for writers' conferences! Hope you both have fun at yours when they happen!

ThatsWhatSheaSaid and any other new folks - Do help yourselves to the baked goods of your choice. We also have a well-stocked bar.

Antonin, Nova and anyone else participating in DVPit - Good luck!

Jeneral -

CCC - Oopsie. Sorry to hear you caught my cold! And I was being soooo careful not to sneeze close to the computer! Feel better soon! (Also, sorry about the Rs. Even if they were puzzling and didn't sting, they're still Rs, and you get cookies and booze!)

Me, I've got nuthin' to report. Finally feeling better and slowly clawing my way back into the regular post-ColdFromHell world. I wish I'd had any revision epiphanies in my sick bed, but nah. That would have been way too convenient.

Hi all! This forum wouldn't let me in yesterday! Hmph.

Still trying to promote Kids Are Turds but feel like I've hit a wall. I KNOW, IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK! I just feel like I should be doing more, or someone should be doing more. Instead, I'm flailing. Trying different methods but I have no idea what's working, if anything.
It doesn't help that another mom blogger released a book at the same time and hers was instant success. I know it's not a competition, I shouldn't compare (she's with big 5, has a best selling book already and a much bigger fan base)--I know the logical side, but it's just tough struggling while she soars. Eh. I need a vacation. I just had one, but I need another, haha.