The Next Circle of Hell, Vol. 2

Shoeless

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The agency was supposed to do an employment dates verification check with HR, some poor hapless intern was assigned to do it and botched it and called her instead.

Oh man. An intern error. Someone is getting yelled at hardcore in some literary agency today...
 

skydragon

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Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened Chibi. Sounds super stressful!

I've barely had time to write since last Friday and I'm cranky about it. First I had a repetitive strain injury and for the past 3 days I've just been too slammed with work and mentally exhausted. Desperate to get back to my MG fantasy. Hopefully tomorrow evening.
 

Shoeless

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I've barely had time to write since last Friday and I'm cranky about it. First I had a repetitive strain injury and for the past 3 days I've just been too slammed with work and mentally exhausted. Desperate to get back to my MG fantasy. Hopefully tomorrow evening.

I'm starting to seriously think I may just "book" the month of December off for myself entirely for just fiction writing. It's starting to look like I may have to juggle FOUR novel projects at various stages of development, and the only way I can keep 2019 to something that is not punishingly insane is if I take a whack at trying to make significant progress on all of them.
 

RaggyCat

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Oh, Chibi! What a horrendous curveball you've been thrown. I am glad HR are supporting you, but, even so, to be fired over an admin error by an intern is terrible on behalf of your boss. Even if part of you is glad not to have to work for her in future, you must be feeling very raw and shaken. All sympathy! I so hope the agency job comes good for you, or, failing that, work at another imprint.
 

s_nov

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Are you working on another project? I will echo the thoughts of others in this thread that have said working on something else is really the best distraction. I was on sub for about a year before me and agent gave up on it, and we did have some rejections sprinkle in after the 6-7 month mark. Actually one was about 10 months. So 5 months is still early by comparison. But, I was working on new project so by the 10 month mark I was so invested in new shiny that I actually was dreading being offered a deal on the old book because it would mean putting the new thing on hold. Or at least, that's what I kept telling myself to feel better.

So I actually wrote another project, got my agent's feedback, and I'm sending the revision to him next week. I'm not sure if you can have two projects on sub at once or what that entails, but that might be a thing.
 

Shoeless

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So I actually wrote another project, got my agent's feedback, and I'm sending the revision to him next week. I'm not sure if you can have two projects on sub at once or what that entails, but that might be a thing.

It's generally not advised to have two projects on simultaneous submission with editors unless those projects are for very different markets. One romance and one picture book for kids? Fine. One middle grade novel and one non-fiction book? Also not a problem. Two fantasy novels? That won't work.

The biggest problem here is the legal issue once you get a deal. Some publishers will work in some kind of "first look" condition on your future work if they decide to take on a book. It means that anything that you write in the future, they'll want to be the first people to take a look at it before you shop it around to their competitors. If you have two works out there, you're already in violation of a first look clause before you've even signed the contract, because your new publisher is NOT getting first look on that other book.
 

skydragon

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I'm starting to seriously think I may just "book" the month of December off for myself entirely for just fiction writing. It's starting to look like I may have to juggle FOUR novel projects at various stages of development, and the only way I can keep 2019 to something that is not punishingly insane is if I take a whack at trying to make significant progress on all of them.

Four projects! Wow. That is a lot. Hope you manage to make some progress soon. And an entire month off in December sounds nice... I'd love to do that. I think I can probably do 2 weeks – maybe just under – and spend the festive period writing!
 

Atlantic12

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I've actually been feeling this lately. I'm doing a close readthrough right now, and realized last night it was the first time I've read it all the way through since it sold. I had a couple crazy moments when I started questioning EVERYTHING. So I'm glad to know it's a normal feeling, and it's not just me!

Yep, looks really normal. I feel a lot better after watching a bunch of Tedx Talks on YouTube about imposter syndrome. It can be especially bad in the arts where critique is a central part of what we do. We're so used to hearing about the errors and mistakes in our stuff, we start to not quite believe it when people tell us stuff is working. Positive comments aren't given as much weight in our heads as negative ones. And then we second guess the work, and ourselves, and it can spiral into all kinds of anxiety and misery if we don't watch out.
 

Qwest

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Ouch Chibi! That's horrific. Thinking of you.

Atlantic12, I suspect you're getting the weird "imposter syndrome" so late in the day because you're putting your work out there for public scrutiny. My five cents: you'll have fans, and you'll have haters. It's like Baz Luhrmann's Sunscreen Song: "Remember the compliments you receive; forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how..."

Yip, tell me how.
 

Fuchsia Groan

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Oh God, Chibi, I’m so sorry! How very Miranda Priestley of her. I hope things work out soon with HR or the agency.

Imposter syndrome is the worst, and it doesn’t go away, in my experience. I have this huge problem where whenever I hear something nice about my work, even from a total stranger, my brain instantly dismisses it as “They’re just saying what I want to hear.” Whereas any negative review has a serious effect on my whole view of my writing. (“This anonymous reviewer says I can’t write characters, while this other anonymous reviewer loves my characters. Well, obvs the first one must be right. Characters are my weakness.”) It’s a horrible habit that I think comes from the human tendency to be more alert to negative stimuli because they might be threats —i.e., caveman brain. And it’s good to take in critique and strive to improve, for sure, but you need to pay attention to the kudos, too. The best solution for me is to stay off my Goodreads page.
 

spikeman4444

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Oh God, Chibi, I’m so sorry! How very Miranda Priestley of her. I hope things work out soon with HR or the agency.

Imposter syndrome is the worst, and it doesn’t go away, in my experience. I have this huge problem where whenever I hear something nice about my work, even from a total stranger, my brain instantly dismisses it as “They’re just saying what I want to hear.” Whereas any negative review has a serious effect on my whole view of my writing. (“This anonymous reviewer says I can’t write characters, while this other anonymous reviewer loves my characters. Well, obvs the first one must be right. Characters are my weakness.”) It’s a horrible habit that I think comes from the human tendency to be more alert to negative stimuli because they might be threats —i.e., caveman brain. And it’s good to take in critique and strive to improve, for sure, but you need to pay attention to the kudos, too. The best solution for me is to stay off my Goodreads page.

For me, it's like a book I write is constantly on the balancing scale. Positive comments from friends will simply keep the book exactly balanced between good or bad in my mind. Negative comments from friends will almost always do the same, unless they begin to pile up. (I tend to place very little importance on good/bad comments from my friends who are not writers). Then if I get a positive comment from someone in the "industry" that will tip the scale to this book is awesome. But then one negative comment will tip it all the way back to crap, crap crap.

It's funny because right now I'm editing based on line by line comments from my agent, and she can literally give me 10 straight pages of positive comments and then the 11th page she'll say something like "There needs to be more emotion coming through in this line." And I'll be like "crap, crap, crap, I knew the book was crap!!"
 

JeanGenie

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It's both nice and scary to hear that the imposter syndrome doesn't go away even after you get an agent! :eek:

Chibi - Holy. Sh**. What a b****. Is this normal for the industry? What is the working environment like for assistants?
 

Harlequin

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that sounds familiar, spikeman >.> Ithink I do that too.

funnily enough, I think I'd never actually had imposter syndrome, till getting an agent. Not that I thought I was amazing, and more that I thought it didn't matter; I was aiming for saleable writing rather than good.

now that I have one, I spend most of my time irrationally stressed that she'll realise at any point what a mistake it was to sign, and drop me >.> which is a new and unpleasant feeling.
 

JeanGenie

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that sounds familiar, spikeman >.> Ithink I do that too.

funnily enough, I think I'd never actually had imposter syndrome, till getting an agent. Not that I thought I was amazing, and more that I thought it didn't matter; I was aiming for saleable writing rather than good.

now that I have one, I spend most of my time irrationally stressed that she'll realise at any point what a mistake it was to sign, and drop me >.> which is a new and unpleasant feeling.

LOL! The workings of the mind...who knows what'll happen, then, if I ever get one. Perhaps it'll be twice as bad, or perhaps it'll go away. But it looks like it's going to be the first, since it's already gotten worse and I'm only on R&R X-D

Struggling to find time and energy to write, though. I envy writers who make enough of their writing to cut back on work!
 

Atlantic12

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now that I have one, I spend most of my time irrationally stressed that she'll realise at any point what a mistake it was to sign, and drop me >.> which is a new and unpleasant feeling.

Maya Angelou said, "I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.' "

I've learned the imposter syndrome is a normal feeling, especially for high achievers. The trick is to not let it keep you from doing your best. And to not believe what those little niggling voices are saying in your head. It's so hard to do. But those limiting thoughts simply aren't true.
 

JeanGenie

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Maya Angelou said, "I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.' "

I've learned the imposter syndrome is a normal feeling, especially for high achievers. The trick is to not let it keep you from doing your best. And to not believe what those little niggling voices are saying in your head. It's so hard to do. But those limiting thoughts simply aren't true.

Good to hear :) But what if they are true, and they are my objectivity speaking to me through all the self deceit? Gaaaah!
 

Shoeless

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An amazing amount of writing is mind games, isn't it?

I'm actually pretty okay during the writing phase itself, and can focus on just getting the story told. It's only when the dust settles and people are looking at it that the Yawning Chasm Of Self-Doubt opens up.
 

JeanGenie

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I'm actually pretty okay during the writing phase itself, and can focus on just getting the story told. It's only when the dust settles and people are looking at it that the Yawning Chasm Of Self-Doubt opens up.

I consider re-writes part of the writing phase, but I'll agree I'm fine with it when I work on the first draft. Perhaps because then I write for me, and I haven't gotten sick of the story yet...
 

Bryan Methods

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Chibi! That's outrageous. It's ridiculous that they messed up who to talk to, and it's even more ridiculous that somebody should flip out over it. And for no good reason! It's not as though your job is your one true religion or something, or that it's some gross betrayal to look at other options.

I'm sure you'll land on your feet. And I hope after it all blows over you'll feel up to writing again.

Regarding impostor syndrome, I was interested to read that John Green and Neil Gaiman felt the same sorts of things. I absolutely have times I think my books have been nothing but a disappointment and I don't deserve to be where I am whatsoever. Generally I try to welcome that feeling because it pushes me to try and do something better and prove myself, but it's also disheartening because I know the cycle will never end no matter what I accomplish. I think everybody feels that way to some extent.
 
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