Need a little advice on endings.

Laiceps · May 13, 2015

She woke up… and it was all a dream!

My story doesn’t end like this, really it doesn’t, but I’m worried that people will feel a little unsatisfied with my ending, or perhaps just hurl the book across the room.

My MC has three main goals: she wants to rescue her boyfriend, her sister, and get them all back home safely.

During the course of the novel, her boyfriend becomes the leader of the armies of hell and her sister dies (sort of). Also a lot of other things happen: character growth, world building, more novely things, also a little messing with minds, what’s real and what isn’t?

Going along the messing with minds vein, the end of the novel is a bit…odd. The MC’s last remaining goal is realised, and she gets sent back home, but there’s something off about it. It isn’t destroyed like it was at the start of the novel, and no one seems to remember her sister, or her boyfriend, or that the town was even attacked in the first place. She tries to tell people, but everyone thinks she’s following in her mother’s footsteps and has gone a bit loopy. So instead of her mother being the strange village girl full of crazy stories, it’s the MC who arrives back from her adventures with these odd tales that no one believes. The novel kind of does a full circle.

I hope it’s clear to the reader that everything did happen, but the MC is so confused by this point that she is easily swayed by the idea that this reality could be her reality, and the story ends with a hint that she starts to accept this, and thinks she’s just finally flipped.

It’s…I really don’t want people to feel like I’ve cheated them or anything.

There are more books *hopefully*, so it’s all cleared up in the end.

I’ve been agonising over this ending for a while, I just wanted to test the waters and see how much this would bother people before I got stuck into writing it.

So… would it? Would it bother you? How much? Enough to completely boycott anything else I write?

Thanks for helping

Brightdreamer · May 13, 2015

Hmm... could you do without the "she decides it really was all just a dream" bit at the end - have her still sticking to her guns in private, but learning to keep her mouth shut about it in public? (To me, this sets up a bad start for the next book, wherein the reader would have to sit through her being convinced that she was sane after all before anything could really get moving, an unnecessary delaying/padding tactic 99.9 times out of 100. If she already knows Something Is Wrong, things could get going much more smoothly.) So it would end with her back home, resolving that, but leaving the dangling question as to What Happened To Her World to lead into Book 2.

Unless I'm reading this wrong...

Laiceps · May 13, 2015

Great, Brightdreamer, this is kind of what I was umming and arring about. (Is arring a word? Actually, is umming a word?) Anyway, yes, she doesn't really believe that everything was fake, she's just starting to have doubts because everyone keeps telling her it was.

Like... if everyone you know, including your family, suddenly start insisting that the last few weeks were a hallucination, wouldn't you start to believe them?

The next book starts with the MC trying to furiously write down everything that happened to her before she forgets, when someone from the 'real world' comes to rescue her. It happens fairly quickly.

I'm just worried that people will point at my ending and scream 'cliffhanger' at me.

Katharine Tree · May 13, 2015

In my opinion, the gaslighting will be a satisfying ending only if it's illustrative of a theme that runs throughout the work. If it randomly pops up at the end it'll be annoying. If gaslighting has happened throughout the book, whether through other people falling victim to it or hints that the MC is heading in that direction, it can work.

chompers · May 13, 2015

I think it's an interesting ending. You just got to make sure you make it clear that it really did happen and it's just the MC who is unsure, and not that it was all fake to the reader.

Laiceps · May 13, 2015

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Yes, there are other occurrences throughout the book, and yes, hopefully I've made it clear enough that everything really did happen to her. In the end, it should only be the MC who's lost.

I was just worried because everyone gives advice that the MC should achieve at least a couple of the goals she's set out to achieve by the end of the novel, and she doesn't really achieve any of them.

-Riv- · May 13, 2015

Laiceps said:
Thanks for the feedback everyone. Yes, there are other occurrences throughout the book, and yes, hopefully I've made it clear enough that everything really did happen to her. In the end, it should only be the MC who's lost.

I was just worried because everyone gives advice that the MC should achieve at least a couple of the goals she's set out to achieve by the end of the novel, and she doesn't really achieve any of them.

The ending as proposed could work as presented as long as it was clear that the events actually happened and it makes sense in the context of the whole. It's hard to tell without reading it.

IMO, not achieving a goal does present a problem, however. It doesn't have to be one of the goals you named, but there needs to be a beginning, middle, and end for THIS book, even though it is part of an intended series. What is the core conflict for the protagonist? What does she want (for the scope of THIS book)? What does she have to do to get it? Who/what stands in her way? What are the consequences if she fails?

A book with this sort of ending which ALSO doesn't deliver a complete story could potentially be quite unsatisfying. Have you had any beta reader feedback?

All the best,
Riv

Celimlodyn · May 13, 2015

I think it sounds interesting. There's a book on my to-read list that starts out something like this: The MC's brother vanishes, but instead of everyone going out to hunt for him, it's as if he never existed and she is the only one who remembers him. I haven't read far enough to find out if she starts to believe everyone else is right or not.

neandermagnon · May 14, 2015

I'd be fine with an ending like that as long as it's clear that everything did happen, it's just no-one believes her. I also don't mind if the whole thing seems to be setting up for a sequel, so long as the actual story has ended, and the sequel thing is a hint that there's another whole story about to start. Also, I'd want her to stick to her story and not cave in and start believing she did hallucinate the whole thing. Even if she does this in private rather than in public to avoid being sectioned.

Even if she does totally think she's crazy by the end - as long as it's clear to the reader that it all did really happen but she just stopped believing it, I'd be fine but I'd want a sequel where she gets a hold of herself and goes and does whatever she needs to do to put things right.

Violet Vixen · May 14, 2015

Laiceps said:
There are more books *hopefully*

Personally, this is what makes the difference for me. With an Inception-like ending for a story that has the kinds of elements you mentioned, I would love to see more books and the unresolved conflict continue; I would not be bothered. I'm not one to shout and pull hair about cliffhangers, either. I'm appreciative of something that gets me reading! :tongue

mbuhmann · May 14, 2015

I agree with what others have said here. So long as you have a motif throughout the book, similar to the totem in Inception, you should be fine. Everyone thinks she's crazy, even she questions it, but then something that grounds her to what she knows/believes is true is shown and any question of sanity is laid to rest.

Once! · May 14, 2015

I see a book as a transaction. You give the author some money and a chunk of your time and in return they give you an experience. The transaction works if the experience is fulfilling on at least one level. This could be a problem solved or an danger averted or a journey completed.

The problem with the "it was all a dream" ending is that it doesn't feel as if you have got your money's worth. The characters haven't achieved anything because nothing was built or destroyed. They never were in any danger. Nothing has moved on. It's a bit like the famous sign in PT Barnum's circus ... "This way to the egress".

I think your ending could work because you have moved things on. The world has changed. Things have happened. It actually sounds quite interesting - good luck with it!

dondomat · May 14, 2015

After the magnificent Runestaff chronicles by Michael Moorcock, the next trilogy (Count Brass) with the same character--Hawkmoon (hence Lemmy's pre-Motorhead band Hawkwind)--starts with him being the crazy dude shattered by losing his loved ones--totally at odds with the real end of the Runestaff chronicles. So this sequel starts with this doubt, and with Hawkwind having to prove first to himself, and then to the others, that it's the enemy messing with the fabric of reality, not him gone mad with grief.

Worked for me, as a reader, when I first read it, works for me still.

Personally, as a reader/viewer, I too feel cheated if the story ends with no trace of the adventures. Something must remain as validation.

Jamesaritchie · May 14, 2015

I like it a great deal, right up to the point where she stops believing it happened. The reader needs to know it all happened, or it may as well be a dream story, and she needs to know, as well. She obviously wouldn't argue about t very long, or maybe at all, but she would know. So would the reader. I don't think you could make me believe the story any other way.

lbender · May 14, 2015

Laiceps said:
Thanks for the feedback everyone. Yes, there are other occurrences throughout the book, and yes, hopefully I've made it clear enough that everything really did happen to her. In the end, it should only be the MC who's lost.

I was just worried because everyone gives advice that the MC should achieve at least a couple of the goals she's set out to achieve by the end of the novel, and she doesn't really achieve any of them.

I agree with the others about the ending.

However, I wanted to make a point about her goals. Just because she can't achieve the goals she started the story with doesn't mean she can't achieve other goals that appeared during the story. People change. The things they want change. A story can begin with someone having the goal of getting a pony for themselves and end with them getting a puppy for someone else - and it can be perfectly reasonable.

What things did she achieve by the end of the story?

Laiceps · May 14, 2015

Thanks you so much everyone, I feel a lot better now. The general consensus seems to be that as long as it's done right then it's alright. So I'll try my darndest to do it right.

I'll definitely take your advice to heart and make sure that the MC knows that everything that happened really happened, and it's just everyone else that thinks otherwise. There are enough oddities between the two realities that it should be obvious to the reader that something is wrong, and there is something that grounds her (like a totem I suppose). I'll just have to make sure I write it properly.

The goals were a worry for me as well, but she learns a lot about herself and the world throughout the novel, and picks up a couple of other goals along the way which are all sorted out, so I hope this will be enough.

I guess the best thing to do now is get the bloomin' thing finished so I can get a few betas on it.

Thanks again for your advice, I appreciate it a lot xxx

SBibb · May 14, 2015

I think it sounds like it could work. Give it a shot then get those betas to read it. They'll tell you if it works or not.

Need a little advice on endings.

Laiceps

Busy doing nothing

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

Laiceps

Busy doing nothing

Katharine Tree

Þæt wæs god cyning

chompers

Laiceps

Busy doing nothing

-Riv-

The much appreciated

Celimlodyn

neandermagnon

Nolite timere, consilium callidum habeo!

Violet Vixen

Official Cryptid of the Publishing World

mbuhmann

Once!

Still confused by shoelaces

dondomat

Jamesaritchie

lbender

Laiceps

Busy doing nothing

SBibb