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I'm struggling with something in my finished WIP. For some character exposure and stuff, I've worked a few flashbacks into the story, including how he got married.
Now, there have been various points at which the two have showed an interest in each other by flirting, being awkward around each other, or helping each other out beyond casual favors, like him buying her a change of clothes when she gets wet. But they never formally dated. They had a secret crush on each other that escalated in a proposal when both were caught off guard and not thinking.
Their history before marriage is like so:
They work in different places next to each other. They're from different religious backgrounds and they barely even have small-talk, but they've both shown an interest in the other.
One rainy winter day, he saves her wet @$$ from getting sick by buying her dry clothes, making her tea, and all that. His boss jokingly tells her to marry him as he's such a catch, and he echoes his boss just because he is nervous and not thinking. Then they both protest because they hardly know each other. His coworker points out how much he seems to care about her, his boss reminds him he has a bag of (onion) rings right here to put on her; end of that scene, next scene, same day, they hang out at her place and another day after that, introduce him to her parents, and her to his 2 weeks later.
And then they get married.
I'm starting to think that's a load of crap, but there's a tight timeline for the events of the story during which they need to meet, click, and get married. Also, the monumental impulsiveness of his decision is meant to echo through the story as their marriage deteriorates. Problem is, she is a lot less impulsive and emotional than he is. Like most girls in love, she got bonkers when marrying her was brought up in front of both of them, but still...
Thoughts?
On another note, is it bad form to use both shop and store, or both john and punter, in the same manuscript?
Thanks
Now, there have been various points at which the two have showed an interest in each other by flirting, being awkward around each other, or helping each other out beyond casual favors, like him buying her a change of clothes when she gets wet. But they never formally dated. They had a secret crush on each other that escalated in a proposal when both were caught off guard and not thinking.
Their history before marriage is like so:
They work in different places next to each other. They're from different religious backgrounds and they barely even have small-talk, but they've both shown an interest in the other.
One rainy winter day, he saves her wet @$$ from getting sick by buying her dry clothes, making her tea, and all that. His boss jokingly tells her to marry him as he's such a catch, and he echoes his boss just because he is nervous and not thinking. Then they both protest because they hardly know each other. His coworker points out how much he seems to care about her, his boss reminds him he has a bag of (onion) rings right here to put on her; end of that scene, next scene, same day, they hang out at her place and another day after that, introduce him to her parents, and her to his 2 weeks later.
And then they get married.
I'm starting to think that's a load of crap, but there's a tight timeline for the events of the story during which they need to meet, click, and get married. Also, the monumental impulsiveness of his decision is meant to echo through the story as their marriage deteriorates. Problem is, she is a lot less impulsive and emotional than he is. Like most girls in love, she got bonkers when marrying her was brought up in front of both of them, but still...
Thoughts?
On another note, is it bad form to use both shop and store, or both john and punter, in the same manuscript?
Thanks
