A true stupid question

If it takes a man a week to run a fortnight, how many apples in a bunch of grapes?


^^^^ that's a true stupid question. I didn't invent it. My dad did. The answer is "Smith, because that's his granny's name."

How many calories does a paper towel have? Also, is it a vegetable or a starch?

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Is it bread crumbs? It's the bread crumbs, isn't it?

Is there any way you could be your own step-parent?

P.S. Yes, I think it is the bread crumbs!

Fruitbat said:

How many calories does a paper towel have?

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Cellulose is linked glucose, which has a heat of combustion of 2560 kJ per mole, or 180 g.

My kitchen scale wouldn't give me a proper weight for one paper towel, but the weight of an entire paper towel roll was 189 g. Minus 15 g for the cardboard tube all paper towel sheets combined weigh 174 g. According to the packaging there are 102 sheets on the roll, so 1.71 g per sheet.

So one paper towel would have 24.32 kJ or 5.79 kilocalories.

ETA: 3-ply.

Fruitbat said:

Also, is it a vegetable or a starch?

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It's not a starch, it's cellulose. Starch has α-1,4 and α-1,6 glycosidic bonds while cellulose's bonds are exclusively β-1,4.


You could probably argue it’s a vegetable.

Happy snacking!

It's delicious with gravy.

All my questions are so stupid that I'm having a hard time choosing.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I mean, really, has anyone ever actually needed an answer to this question?

guttersquid said:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I mean, really, has anyone ever actually needed an answer to this question?

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I don't know if they needed it, but there is an answer. A woodchuck would chuck all that he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.


Now what I want to know is: How much mud does a mud dauber daub (since mud daubers do daub mud)?*


*lol, I had way too much free time on my hands the day I came up with this one.

Yeah, right, blame me...

My stupid question: Z?

Mathematicians are all over X, and everyone's always asking Y, but what about Z? Aside from a Charlie the Unicorn cameo, it's completely ignored. So, I ask again: Z?

(And another stupid question: Why the heck am I allowed online when my brain's degenerated to the point of asking questions like this?)

If you meet a wombat in combat, who would win? And why would one combat a wombat anyway?

asroc said:

Cellulose is linked glucose, which has a heat of combustion of 2560 kJ per mole, or 180 g.

My kitchen scale wouldn't give me a proper weight for one paper towel, but the weight of an entire paper towel roll was 189 g. Minus 15 g for the cardboard tube all paper towel sheets combined weigh 174 g. According to the packaging there are 102 sheets on the roll, so 1.71 g per sheet.

So one paper towel would have 24.32 kJ or 5.79 kilocalories.

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except that humans don't have any enzymes to digest cellulose so it may as well have zero calories.

If you're a ruminant, well you don't have the enzymes either but your gut flora and multiple stomachs make up for that.

So the answer depends on what kind of animal you are.

Could I get cat embryos implanted and give birth to a litter of kittens? I have to know because I want to be my cats' mother and I also want to be on TV.

Roxxsmom said:

If you meet a wombat in combat, who would win? And why would one combat a wombat anyway?

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The answer is not clear cut!

neandermagnon said:

except that humans don't have any enzymes to digest cellulose so it may as well have zero calories.

If you're a ruminant, well you don't have the enzymes either but your gut flora and multiple stomachs make up for that.

So the answer depends on what kind of animal you are.

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If you're a real animal -- like a herbivorous snail -- then you've got cellulases. Lucky old you!

Fruitbat said:

Could I get cat embryos implanted and give birth to a litter of kittens? I have to know because I want to be my cats' mother and I also want to be on TV.

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Wasn't there a James Bond movie about that? Something about a woman who gave birth to eight cats?

Helix, haha!

Here. It's already been done!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSOvTI5Ijck

What is the speed of light in furlongs per fortnight?

benbradley said:

What is the speed of light in furlongs per fortnight?

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I want to take GCSE physics all over again just to be able to write that on the paper.



And I'd just like to add that I'm 1.6288962031 x10 ^-16 light years tall.

Did Richard Nixon have a staff infection?

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

JonEd said:

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

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Its velocity is constantly changing. I've never known one to fly in a straight line at a constant speed.

Now, a peregrine falcon when it's dive-bombing a pigeon... its terminal velocity is pretty impressive*. Not sure pigeons would agree though.

*242mph http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2008/01/24/how-fast-do-peregrine-falcons/

0.317 916 130 36 speed of sound [air] = 0.31 (etc) mach
425 920 yard/hour
210.292 250 54 knot
3.6086191334e-7 speed of light [vacuum]
650 494.706 55 furlong/fortnight

JonEd said:

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

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Depends on the swallow's favorite color.