The utterly squalid, wretchedly deprived, bravely-trying-to-maintain-appearances tea salon

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CassandraW

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At last. A brand no longer new, shiny, clean, non-disgusting, smut-free, unclean, unfunny, mildly totally disgusting, occasionally smutty & smelly, battery-freeinfested, flatulence-free tea salon -- a place for wholesome and sophisticated wit.

*sits on [somewhat stained] white sofa*

*sips tea*

*admires shining sticky, begrimed white walls and floors*

*waits for droves of sophisticated, wholesome, shiny, clean, non-disgusting, smut-free, flatulence-free humorists*
 
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Fruitbat

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Wait! What is that smell?
 

CassandraW

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Damn it. Did Porter get in here already?

This is why we can't have nice things.
 

T Robinson

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You didn't take low bid on the ventilation system did you?
 

T Robinson

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Almost a cliche like "bull in a china shop."

Instead we have a moose in a clean room.
 

CassandraW

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Looking on the bright side, at least there's no smut. And no batteries.
 

Fruitbat

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Where is the teabagging done?
 

CassandraW

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What types of tea will be served?

well, I'm drinking the darjeeling. We have a lovely oolong, an English breakfast blend, earl gray, a full selection of herbal teas, a nice matcha and a yame gyokuro, and a lapsang souchong.

Also, there are delicate pastries and dainty, crustless sandwiches.

ETA:

Fruitbat. We will have no references to tea-bagging here. This is a smut-free zone. All of our tea is loose.

ETA:

I mean, it's not in bags. It's not promiscuous. No.
 
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CassandraW

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At least there are no batteries.
 

PorterStarrByrd

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* drops a few cookie crumbs on white couch *


Taste like Oreos
 
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CassandraW

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I really should have specified that this was a moose-free zone.

I shall chalk it up to a learning experience.
 

CassandraW

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Unfortunately, Porter has devoured the cake. He's ground some crumbs into the rug and sofa, however.

He might have left a couple of dainty, crustless sandwiches.
 
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