Re: Liam
glad it was on the you-know-what
:money
, lj!:rollin ...
radhika, i don't want to misquote you or miss any reponse called for in your post, so i'll paste relevant parts here and reply like this ///in situ///, if you don't mind...
"Dear Maia,
I can understand your apprehension... and I know you are talking about my ad here. I'm a little hurt by your comments , to be frank, but since you sound genuinely confused by this sudden 'offers' for mentoring services, I'd like to put forth justifications from my side."
///i'm truly sorry your feelings were hurt, but that wasn't my intent, as i really didn't mean just your ad... it did sort of spur me to address the question, but it's not the first time i've seen someone using the term in a for-profit way... so, i was definitely not just talking about your ad, if that helps any///
"May be Coach would be a better word, don't you think - "
///imo, it certainly would... and it still has a positive 'feel' to it///
"I realize that you are bothered by the word usage alone; but still, I'd like some heart-to-heart talk with you, my friend. I'm afraid you expect everybody - or every writer who wants to help another - to be selfless. It's not possible - at least not in this economy."
///heart-to-heart, i must point out that you're assuming incorrectly, as i've been in this world much too long [65 yrs] to be that naive... my only problem is/was with using a word that implies 'free' in describing services for which one charges a fee...
i'm all too well aware that not
everyone wants to be helpful to others, and have no idea how you would get the idea that i expect otherwise... happily, however, many on this board and the others i monitor daily,
do help each other, which proves that generosity of spirit's not gone completely out of style, the economy notwithstanding///
"I admire you, maia . It takes a lot of heart and time to dedicate yourself for guiding budding writers free. But even you mentor young writers to get published and - let's admit it - get paid for their work."
///the reason i do what i do for writers is not to help them "to get published... and get paid for their work" ... but only to help them to learn how to improve their writing... whether their aim is to make money with it or not, is not a factor in the equation of my helping them///
"If they can get paid for their work and time, why cannot their mentor or a coach get paid for her time and service - unless she, like you, personally doesn't want to be paid."
///i've never said they shouldn't... to do what i now do for free [that i was once highly paid to do] is a personal choice and one i don't expect anyone else to either understand or emulate... i don't preach it, i just practice it///
"Sure, I post tips, suggestions and pointers for newbies at messageboards like this and at mailing lists, my share of paying it forward, if you can get it, but but but... as a budding entrepreneur it's quite impossible for me to offer my services totally for free."
///that's entirely understandable and no one i know of is asking you to, nor suggesting that you should... and that includes me///
"I have previous experience teaching writers for free. I practiced the first part of my workshop on a few writers, and out of 5 only two were punctual in submitting their assignments and replying to my emails regularly. "
///i can understand your frustration [rest of your description left out just to save space] ... the difference between that and what i do may lie in that you were conducting a workshop with several folks all doing the same thing, on some sort of schedule... the attrition rate of such a plan doesn't affect or bother me, because i work one-on-one with each writer, so they can operate on their own time frame, not mine... i'm not suggesting you should have or should ever do the same, just pointing out the difference///
"Bottomline is, when something is free people are not very serious or committed about it. Put a price on it and ask them to pay for it - they will make time to get their money's worth and listen to what you're saying."
///that's true... but i have no personal investment in the outcome... i'm not concerned with whether those i help listen to me or not, or if they're serious or committed... it's up to them if they choose to be or not... that they need help with something and i can provide it, is all i care about///
"And personally, isn’t it a little selfish and ignorant on anybody’s part to expect somebody to sacrifice their time and expertise without limit or concern for her survival??? "
///i wouldn't say 'selfish' or 'ignorant'... but most people
are largely self-concerned, and most who come to me are indeed surprised [shocked, even] to find that i really do it all for free... some don't even believe it without proof, sad to say... it says something about our society that i have to prove i'm giving help for the sake of just helping, doesn't it?///
"Granted, for the love of the art, I decide to mentor writers voluntarily… but how many people can I balance under my wing??? 10, 20, 100??? Isn’t it best to guide 2 people all the way, from idea to publication, than to give brief, generic pointers and notes on the craft for a 100???"
///doesn't 'best' depend more on what your own personal needs and motives are, than the needs of the 'clients' or 'mentees'?... and, are the 2 you take all the way to a publisher's check any happier or 'better off than the hundreds i've helped learn how to write better than they did before they came to me?... as a mentor, i give detailed, personal help and tutoring, not just the generic pointers and notes you might see me post on boards... i don't think there really IS a 'best' here, do you?... perhaps only a 'different'///
"And I'm not doing it for money alone - I'm an architect who never practiced because of my love for writing."
///in a strange 'coincidence,' in my 'old' life, the business i had before becoming a writer full time was as an architectural design consultant... i did the design for and oversaw the construction of 7 major home remodels of my own, and had just done my first commissioned one, when i, too, decided that writing was my prime passion///
" I want to spread the message that it IS possible to become successful writers, in spite of a fulltime job or other obligations. I certainly tried posting messages and writing how-to articles but it wasn't as good as interacting regularly with a budding writer and enjoy her progress, witness her getting better in her writing and marketing."
///certainly, a worthy and noble goal///
"Thus the story of my email workshop, coaching services and the monthly installment plans, both for my and the prospective student's comfort. The Paypal links are for ease of payment for my services, as I sit here in India before a rented computer and a costly phone bills "
///a couple of my mentees are in india, so i know of those challenges you face///
"And finally, if I'm giving my help free, I won't have time to write for magazine and other clients. That happen, I will no longer be a coach... how can I be called a qualified writing coach if I am not financially successful???"
///i suppose you can't, since in the material world, 'qualified' and 'success' are always tied to money-making... i do have to say, though, that only a handful of the many who've wanted my help have ever demanded to know if i've sold any of my own work... it seems that the writing samples i sent them [and now, that all can see on my site] and the samples of how i can help with their work that i give them, are enough to 'qualify' me... but in the 'normal' world, of course that wouldn't work///
"And hey, a big doubt here -
... Since then, wise and trusted advisers have been called 'mentors."
From these, I understand that wise advisers are called mentors, NOT those who give their advices for free. How do you know anyway that there was no mutual transaction between these 2 parties, eh?"
///that was only
one reference to Mentor and Odysseus' relationship... many others make if fairly clear that it was not an employer/employee or a for-a-fee situation///
"So, if I may request, please give a thought about the other person's POV before probing into ethics and semantics. May be you consider mentoring as a generous gift, maia (and you follow what you preach; I can't say a word against that , but really, it's not practical to expect million other writers to share the same view. Why not appreciate those who are like you and leave the rest to write (or coach) in peace?"
///you seem to have read into what i posted, so very much that i did not... i don't believe i ever questioned anyone's ethics... and i do believe i have a right to question semantics, don't I?... nowhere did i claim that millions should share my view... and i surely have not indicated that i wouldn't let those who 'coach' for a living, 'rest in peace'... nor would/do i!... i'm afraid an over-sensitivity on this subject has led you to put not only words in my mouth/hand, but thoughts in my head... none of which exist, except in your imagination///
"And while I am certainly guilty of using the word MENTOR in a commercial sense, you too need to accept reality; writing, that is, successful and publisher-worthy writing IS a business, apart from being a talent or a joy, at least in this century."
///and where on earth did you get the idea that i
don't accept a reality that i in fact
emphasize to practically every mentee i work with?... so many come to me with dreams of instant success, that a part of my s.o.p. is a dose of the facts of life about the business end of the publishing and film industries///
"Hope I didn't sound like a patronizing boor... I enjoyed the files you sent me some time back and your helpful responses scattered throughout this board. Let's have a lot of friendly arguments and 'conversations' like this one !"
///well, to be honest, you did a bit... but i understand from whence it came and am not put out by it... i do hope i have set things straight on the many misconceptions you seem to have had, though...
i'm glad what i sent you was useful in some way and wouldn't mind conversations, but i sure hope future ones won't be this
long! :\ ... i'd just as soon eschew arguments, however, as it's just not my thing... if we don't agree, i'd rather agree to disagree than get into a spat...
love and hugs, maia///
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