Check In- What Are You Doing?

In-class: first day of the week.

I got the assignment done though.

thereeness - Enjoy GoT! (I've read the first three. Definitely worth reading for the worldbuilding and range of characters, though it does start to bog down, and I hear enough mixed things about the later books to make me hesitate to push ahead just yet. Though if it's too dark and depraved for you, I'd suggest either of Tad Williams's epic fantasies: the original Memory, Sorrow and Thorn trilogy - partial inspiration for GoT - and his Shadowmarch quartet. They're a bit of a slow-burn start, but great worlds, the latter being more extensive than the former.)

*waves to others*

Monday, lunch break, and I have five ornaments in what's probably the final drying phase (will double-check tomorrow, if there are any divots or patches or such.) After lunch I mean to finish up four more (I had nine, not eight, up through the latest phase - they run together after a while), and if I have the materials I may try to get some work in on the ones I had to leave behind. But so far I'm in okay shape for sanding and priming on Wednesday, even if I fear they may be a bit heavy for tree ornaments. Dang it.

And I need to hit Amazon about an order that was supposedly delivered but is nowhere to be found; I even checked with relatives to be sure someone else didn't take it by mistake. Someone's here pretty much all day, and we're not around a lot of people so we've never had package theft issues, so we think it just went to the wrong house. Will have to report that and order a replacement, as it's an Xmas gift.

What fun. Not.

Off I go.

ETA - Well, I dug into my order history in Amazon, and it turns out it was packed with a larger item. So I dug around and, lo and behold, there it was, hiding under the extra packing! Yay! (It's a non-bluetooth pedometer/fitness watch thing, for a relative who doesn't want to fool with smartphone stuff but wanted a Fitbit. This is self-contained, plus it looks like a watch, which is what she was after, and it got decent Amazon reviews.)

I had a date with a BBQ Bacon King.

It went well.

Later the same Monday, and I technically have enough ornaments to go ahead with, though a couple more spares are almost done (for sculpting, at least). Tomorrow is the final pass, then I sand and prime, and painting can commence Saturday. I hope.

Dinner is almost done, so I ought to get up and deal with that.

--

After dinner, and chilling with some Xmas music (Pentatonix "White Winter Hymnal"), debating whether I have enough creative energy to do anything writerly. Doubtful; it's all going into those danged ornaments. Still worried they're pushing the limits of tree ornament weight. Dang it... not much to be done about it at this point, though it might require a slight alteration of plans, in case they end up as yard ornaments. It's always something...

Away I wander. May try some spitballing at least to keep the wheels, if not spinning, then turning enough to slow down rust.

IT. IS. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

It took me 5 hours of pen writing, with an hour break for lunch, my shoulder is sore, and my index finger has a perma-indent in it, BUT MY LONGHAND DRAFT IS DONE! *Collapses.* I'm going to try NOT thinking about all the transcribing and fixing I have to do for the next two weeks, but it's going to be a challenge. To give my brain a nice break from my AMBERSHIELD universe for a bit, I think I'm going to start plotting something new. I did have an idea for a lesbian, dragon shape-shifting adventure...but we'll see how that goes. I also got my previous MS, SHATTERED DREAMING I could work on fixing up, but we'll see. Right now, I'm going to bask in my accomplishment and ice my shoulder.

Funny enough, my hand/wrist is totally fine, it's my shoulder/arm that's sore. How does that work?

Thanks for the recs, BD, I'll have to check them out, cause yeah, I only plan on reading the first book for now XD (The thing's fricking HUGE. I thought Les Mis was big, but this is like a paper brick.)

Applause! Applause! Cheers! Applause!

Spread your arms and soak up CONGRATULATIONS! : D

thereeness - Congrats! And longhand, too - yay! (My handwriting's too illegible for that kind of thing; even back in school, teachers cracked jokes about how I should consider medicine because I had the doctor scrawl down.)

Tuesday afternoon, and wondering where my days off went. Oh, yeah - the workshed and the ornaments. Update is that ten are now sculpted and drying (I like to give them extra drying time to make sure they're ready for sanding, a habit left over from Paperclay - you try sanding it when it's not quite ready and it really fouls things up.) I'm going out after lunch to try bringing the last two blanks up to speed - I may actually have enough materials to finish them, and since I can't start painting until Saturday anyway...

Yeah, I'm a glutton for punishment. So sue me - I'm done with holiday shopping save last-minute oddball impulse junk, so I'm looking to keep myself busy (and not too depressed about The State of Things.)

Off I wander.

--

Post-workshed, pre-dinner, and the last two blanks will be ready for the final bits of Apoxie tomorrow (or Thursday; I think I'll end up shopping after work tomorrow, so I may be too tired and lack the time.) Looks like I'll have enough material to finish them, but not much left over. So that'll be close to ten pounds of Apoxie (not counting the weight of the aluminum foil and wire cores) invested in twelve ornaments. Really should've started with a smaller base...

Ergh.

I dunno where to put this, so I'm gonna put it here.

I'm getting to that place again, guys. The place where, after I finish my first draft, I enter a heavy stage of doubt/self-criticism. Y'all prolly know the drill: "This isn't creative, this is so trite, I've done all these cliches, no one will like my writing, my character arcs suck, the plot's all over the place, the magic system's too powerful, I must have overpowered my characters..." etc. etc. This is a problem for me, because I get so immersed in doubt and so caught up in the new idea/project that I'm info dumping to keep my mind occupied that I never go back. This cycle of self doubt keeps me from going back and editing because I look at it and think, "Even if I did edit it, it'll be nowhere near any good."

This is also a problem for AMBERSHIELD because...I haven't plotted beyond the first book. It was supposed to be a series and I have no idea where that series is going. So now I'm like: "Well, fuck, I'm fucked." (pardon my language.) Anyone know if there's a similar thread in AW that deals with things like this? Cause I'm starting to spiral and all I can think about is, "The next project will be better, I should start on something new and awesome and totally original (even though there is no such thing)."

thereeness - Ah, yes... post-draft depression. A common ailment. The only cure is to commit - to yourself, if nobody else - to push through and edit. (I can almost guarantee that, when you return to your draft, it won't be as bad as you're currently fearing.) Remember, it all may have been done before, but not by you. The "you" factor is what will make it unique. Good luck!

Well, it's Wednesday evening, and a long and chilly day winds down. Work existed; we finished the load, which was a nice change of pace, but I had spotty sleep so the shift felt extra long. Then I shopped my way home, but I should be good on groceries for about a week (like that ever works out... someone always needs something) and got the car topped off on gas. Also remembering to add that Heet stuff, because it's the time of year I occasionally have condensation issues.

On the ornament front, all twelve are drying, save any spot-fixes. (Got Apoxie enough for fixes and, if need be, repairs, but I couldn't have swung a thirteenth ornament... cut it awful close this time.) Will probably let them set until the weekend; we have a Thing we hope to do on Friday, though family's waffling already, and aside from a possible last-minute check for issues tomorrow I'd just as soon take a break until I can actually commit to some quality sanding/priming/painting time.

Away I drift. Need to pick a new book to read. The last paperback fizzled out terribly.

Grumpily anticipating a phone call asking me to come in to work early this morning. No big deal right, I've only stayed late twice this week and only left on time yesterday because I skipped my break.

5 dispatchers and an ops manager in my department now and somehow I'm still doing 90% of the work.

BD - Yeah, I decided that instead of transcribing it this month, I'm going to just finish all my hand written notes on it and then put it away for a month and work on something else before I come back to it with fresh eyes and a better perspective. And hopefully I can convince myself by then that it's actually worth editing XD

Started brainstorming a new project tonight. I didn't get very far because Game of Thrones distracted me (the book, not the show). But I'm liking the idea and I'm branching out into a new hybrid genre I've never done before. Also, Game of Thrones is....really kinda boring when you've already watched the show XD. I'm only 200 pages in and I'm already starting to skim. I like the bits with Arya and Daenerys (they're my favorite ladies in the whole series) but I'm like, "Good God, there's so many boring characters. Ned's boring, Jon's boring, even Tyrion's boring! TYRION!" But I'm going to push through to the end, because I don't know a lot of the details about things. I do appreciate the fact that so far the gore has been minimal, compared to the show.

Off to brainstorm some more before bed!

Didn't need to go to my 8:30 class today so I slept in until 11:30.

Now, I'm just going to get on the writing/reading boat and attend my 2:30 class. Unfortunately, I have to complete an assignment today for a Computers Course so I may be at the college late.

Thursday afternoon, and hiding out in my room 'cause everyone's at each others' throats for no good reason.

Weather remains crisp and frosty and clear after morning fog. Air quality is starting to suffer for the stagnance, though.

Work was light, but we were delayed by a few Issues. Still got out a little early. Instead of grabbing an impulse deli lunch, I came home... right into the aforementioned squabbling.

Might head out to the shed in a bit to see if I can hide there, but there's not really anything I can do to the ornaments right now except let them sit.

Got a picture book review to write up (down time read at work.) And eventually I have to start dinner. Either turkey taco or leftover stew. Leaning toward the latter to clear up fridge space, but the former's faster and easier if I don't get the stew started early enough.

I'm still waking up from serious nightmares. It--here's what happened last night:
1. I read parts of a well-written, well-researched, compassionate book that wasn't targeted towards my age demographic and freaked out. It was about aging and death of parents, aimed towards Boomers. I am twenty-eight and have post-traumatic stress around family death. I read parts of the book because I was bored. I cannot emphasize how much I regret doing that.
2. Went to surf the net to calm myself down. Went down a rabbit hole of fan theories about movies I'm not particularly attached to. The fan theories=incredibly convincing ones about death. I am now terrified of the 1971 "Willy Wonka" and "Grease". See: post-traumatic stress about death.
3. Flipped out about my writing--plays, novels, anything, and had to talk to myself for a full half hour so I wouldn't shred and delete every scrap of evidence out there I might be a bit creative.

Today, everything's still intact. My brain is not. I am not in a good frame of mind and am very sad. It was actually very reassuring to type this out, so I am glad I did that. I'm trying to come back to my usual self.

iszevthere - Yikes... that's no fun. Hope your brain calms down some so you can at least get some nightmare-free sleep...

Later on Thursday, and leftover stew helped clear the fridge. Tomorrow we plan to go to a local Thing, so dinner shouldn't be an issue - and if it is, heck, plenty of leftover leftover stew.

Should do something productive with the evening. Like that's ever happened...

Reading about red giants and white dwarfs and feeling glum about the stars as I often do and drinking some red wine.

Friday morning, and looking out the window at a frosty well house roof under a pink-hued sky.

It's going to be a Very Long Day. Will have to leave early to get the car defrosting, remember to drop off the garbage on the way to work (we don't want Dad taking the can down the icy hill, even if his new meds are helping his stamina), work, come home and almost immediately head back out with bickering family, meet a relative for linner, then head down to a light festival thing that looks spectacular but will probably be chilly. I don't expect to be home before ten.

My feet will hate me...

Guess I'll head off on my Internet rounds.

Drinking my tea with very little milk because, er, I kind of drank most of it last night.

*Flourish*

*Updated*

What does everyone have planned for the weekend?

DanielSTJ - My weekend plans involve sanding, priming, and painting. Lots of painting. As much painting as I can squeeze in.

Jumping online quickly before we head out to that Thing. Work was... weird. Started with a meeting with HR about the new contract. Our job title has changed. Our pay grade has changed. And a raise was negotiated with the contract (damn well better have, as it took them long enough to get the thing done - two flippin' years.) Upshot is that it's a decent sized raise, with yet-to-be-determined backpay.

I'm waiting for the union dues to rise to eat it.

Anyway, very light day at work, so I got out early enough to swing by the store for new wiper blades (which I desperately needed.)

And now it's about time to shut down and head out. Going to bring an extra camera, but may not actually carry it; I'll have my "big boy" Sony Cybershot and my purse Canon and my tripod, so I'll have to decide if I want to carry around my Nikon, too... might be worth it, on the "throw enough stuff at a wall and something's gotta stick" photography theory I usually adhere to. (My phone technically has a camera, but it seems redundant.)

Brightdreamer, thank you for your kind words. I'm much better now.

This weekend, I might try to go to synagogue. I would like to, but it also depends on how I am feeling. I have some books I want to read, too, and hopefully get some other stuff done. I hope to treat myself to some pizza as well. Maybe go to my local pub and catch a hockey game over fish and chips? That would really be fun, except this pub tends to be standing-room only and roaringly loud, and I might not be up for it. (But that's good for the restaurant! Businesses are shutting down left and right where I live, since Amazon continues its world domination and don't get me started on the KeyArena.) Still want to try, though.

I bought a new notebook specifically for a longhand draft of the novel in my head, in the hopes that being unable to easily read what I just wrote will make it easier to write. Still freezing up and going blank at the idea of actually starting to write, though. UGH.

I'm shivering in my bed, because it's about to snow and my entire right wall is taken up by a balcony and sliding glass doors, which means tons of drafts. Hurray

I finished up Game of Thrones, now it's onto Clash of Kings, as I struggle to come up with a climax to my revisions. I'm getting the revised plot laid out well, it's just the in between parts and the climax at the end that are tripping me up. Didn't write a whole lot, since I'm not as focused and I haven't solidified my outline yet, but I hope to start on that next week. Blah. I hate winter. My depression makes me exhausted and working 3rd shift, I never see the sun. I really should move to somewhere warmer, but the only place I really want to go is Arizona and that's way too hot for me XD

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

thereeness - There's a film they sell for glass that cuts down on drafts significantly; we got it for our sliding glass door and noticed a big difference. Will try to remember the name... IIRC, it's available at big box stores like Home Depot.

Well, it was a long and foggy and frigid afternoon and evening, with a few Issues, but we survived. It was a fun light display, though rather chilly.

Probably going to call it a night soon. Will check pics tomorrow... between three cameras, hopefully something came out.