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Brightdreamer

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Struggling. Just struggling.

Struggle makes life interesting... though, heck, I'd still like to try life without it for a while myself, but danged if life lets up. Hang in there.

I'm with Keithy. Struggling and struggling some more. Depression is rearing it's ugly head once more - and affecting everything, natch.

Ergh. Not fun.

Just swingin' through after dinner while my new Kindle charges. Yes, it arrived, with its new case. No, the screen protector wasn't with it. But I got it all set up and connected, everything except transferring my non-Amazon downloads, though I already transferred those to my computer. Just have to charge the thing (goes faster with a plug-in - I did remember to order the power adapter, which is apparently no longer standard), then hook up the USB cord and drag-n-drop.

Need to write some tonight to justify my purchase, though. And to make myself stop poking at it. The lure of a new toy...
 

Spooky

Even the sphinx has eyes O_O
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Admiring my current collection of stones I have retrieved from various murky places over the last few years and wondering whether any of them possess exotic curses and that's why they urged me to yank them up from the impassive patches of earth I have trespassed upon.
 

Keithy

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I think I'm starting to accept that I have some problems with anxiety and panic attacks. So, I'll give it a couple of days. If I can't get a "I can do it" vibe back then I'll take myself to the doctor.
 

Brightdreamer

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Keithy - Doesn't sound fun at all. When you get into the doctor, don't let them brush you off; keep pushing. You know something's off. Don't let them tell you you don't know yourself.

Wanderin' through on a Wednesday morning, the first day of my so-called "vacation." (I took the week off, both to avoid overaccrual of vacation hours and so I wouldn't have to get up early on Friday after being out past 10 for Rifftrax Live! on Thursday.)

Plans for today might include washing the car, finishing file transfers on Spot (my new Kindle - got a leopard-spot cover for it), getting back out to my workshed to finish a project that's been lingering overlong in there, digging into that danged site overhaul I keep procrastinating on (may suspend updating the current site to force me to do that - keep getting distracted with keeping the current version updated with new reviews), and more writing (made some possible headway last night, though I still need to root around in the idea bin for new story ideas.) I say "might" because, as usual, I expect family to interrupt me at any moment.
 

Brightdreamer

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Thursday, and the weather's turned damp. My own fault for washing the car yesterday evening...

It's Rifftrax Live day, so we'll be heading out this afternoon to beat rush hour to the theater. (We're trying a different venue this time. Hopefully it'll be less prone to glitches and Issues.)

Otherwise, nothing else worth noting has occurred, save minor progress on the site overhaul. (I settled on a new color scheme. Yeah, really a minor thing, but it's getting me back in the overhaul mindset, which I've been neglecting. One small step at a time...)

Away I go.
 

Tiggy

A lover, not a fighter
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I do children's picture books.

Still hoping for an agent. Latest books sent, now waiting for replies.

Waiting for the publisher who said they wanted to publish one of my stories to get on with it! They said no action until the summer. Possibly. Will poke them soon.

Waiting to see what happened with my entry for a writing festival competition. Winners announced on Sunday. Not been invited to the announcement though.

Issue with writers block over a couple of good ideas I had. Seen to have unblocked myself by just writing a rhyming story with no rules or targets in mind. (And no idea on the storyline either. Just started with a cowboy who rides a duck and went where the rhymes took me).
 

DragonHeart

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I'm...a little numb right now. I was just told one of my uncles was rushed to the hospital earlier this evening and he's in critical condition. My other uncle who lives with him said they sent police over but they don't even know what's going on either. My mother and stepfather are going over to his place now to see if they can find out wtf is going on right now. I have a really bad feeling that I hope is wrong...
 

RLGreenleaf

Ummm, just one more chapter...
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DragonHeart:

That does not sound like good news, at all!

I hope everyone is ok, and that things turn out well, no matter what has already happened.
 

Brightdreamer

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I'm...a little numb right now. I was just told one of my uncles was rushed to the hospital earlier this evening and he's in critical condition. My other uncle who lives with him said they sent police over but they don't even know what's going on either. My mother and stepfather are going over to his place now to see if they can find out wtf is going on right now. I have a really bad feeling that I hope is wrong...

Yow... hang in there. Not knowing is always worst. (Not that knowing necessarily makes things better, but having a name and a shape for the Bad is at least a step toward understanding, or processing, or coping, or whatever useless words are used to fit something into reality that shouldn't, in an ideal world, need to fit there.)

Just got back from the Rifftrax Live show tonight (a series of shorts, with guest riffers - fun presentation, if a somewhat small audience), and unwinding a bit online before I crawl into bed to feign sleep.
 

DragonHeart

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Well, it wasn't what I thought it might be, but it's not good either. He had a heart attack which formed a blood clot, so he also had a stroke. He was dead for about 20 mins before they brought him back. He went in for surgery overnight. I don't know what's going on yet, it's still pretty early in the morning here.

So now I'm just sitting here drinking my coffee. I would say I'm still waking up, but I think you have to actually go to sleep to say you woke up. I am so tired right now. My brain would not shut off, I think I only managed to doze off and on for a few hours, gave up entirely around 4:30.
 

ReignaFTW

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Procrastinating at work, tbh. Time to get back to it! *guilty look*
Right there with you on this! >>

Pretty pumped that I'm not traveling or hosting friends on a weekend (as much as I love them dearly) for the first time since April 1st. Spring is always crazy with traveling to regattas and competing every weekend, but championship season is now over. Will be good to decompress and spend some time with the MS.
 

Brightdreamer

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Weird how many of us had issues sleeping last night... No real reason for me, save the brain refusing to fall into Sleep Mode. (When I did get any sleep, the dreams were weird and wrong.)

Friday, and I'm trying to pretend I'm going to get something done today. Mostly, I need to push through an increasingly-irritating read on Overdrive before it goes back to the library. Not usually an issue with me, but this one... this one's really getting on my nerves. (The level of repetition... was it not edited? Did the author not realize he'd already covered these exact same points in almost the exact same manner - sometimes in the exact same paragraph or the one just previous? It's filler, plain and simple. And this is a known author... must be past-peak, is all I can think, unless some people like constant rehashing of the same few issues.)

Away I go, to see if I can wake up my half-rested brain.
 

Cindyt

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I was up for almost two days last weekend and have been catching up since.

What am I doing? Posting. Before that I smashed a bunch of empty coke cans. And before that I edited my website--faded the backgrounds and pimped the header and texts.
 
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Keithy

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Well, I've moved on from "My book is terrible" to "I don't know if my book is terrible". That seems an improvement.
 

DragonHeart

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Life is such a fragile thing. One day you're there and then the next, simply gone.

My family made the decision to remove my uncle from life support and donate his kidneys tonight. There's just no one home anymore. It was a fast decision because he had severe brain swelling, if we wanted to do any life saving measures it would have had to be done immediately. But if there's no quality, is it a life at all? He would have been in a coma for the rest of his life. Decided it was best to just let him go.

As for me, I still went to work. There was nothing I could do, and frankly those discussions were things for his mother, brothers and sister, not his niece.

I didn't want to sit around dwelling on it all day, so I went in to take care of my guys and keep the DM from blowing his top over the amount of OT the other dispatcher has been racking up with our ops manager away.

I usually leave early on Friday but ended up leaving at my normal time. Our one cover driver ended up doing a whole extra route today and got stuck in horrendous Boston traffic on the way back. He's such a sweetheart; most drivers will just drop off their paperwork and take off, especially when they're running late, but not V. He took the time to chat with me for a few minutes. I told him about what was going on, honestly it did comfort me a little. He also told me he's moving to a new apartment. I think I'll try to set aside some time to make something for him as a housewarming gift.

In case you're wondering, he's not the driver I'm still crushing on right now. I've got about 20 or so drivers total, and of those maybe 6-7 will actually talk to me on a regular basis for things other than business. It's still a bit tough seeing them so friendly with the other dispatchers, but I always remind myself I've been here less than 4 months, and they've been here for years. It takes time.

And yeah, I'm rambling a little bit. I didn't really sleep last night, I'm just really tired. I got stuck in traffic on my way home too, and then my mom filled me in on the situation once I finally made it back. I haven't eaten dinner yet and probably won't even though I should. Just not hungry.

I think I'm going to try to get some rest for now, there's going to be a lot to do in the coming days.
 

Brightdreamer

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DragonHeart - Sorry to read about the uncle. Never an easy decision, even if you're not the one making it...

Swingin' through in the last minutes of Friday after posting a late book review. I finally got through the title that's been irritating me. That's about the only accomplishment I managed. Just plain never got my brain in gear to do anything else. Now I'll wander off and see if my brain decides to play nice and let me get some actual sleep, preferably without the unpleasant dreams. (Nothing so bad as a proper nightmare, just plain unpleasant.)

Off I go, with six minutes of Friday to spare.
 

Keithy

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Life is such a fragile thing. One day you're there and then the next, simply gone.

My family made the decision to remove my uncle from life support and donate his kidneys tonight. There's just no one home anymore. It was a fast decision because he had severe brain swelling, if we wanted to do any life saving measures it would have had to be done immediately. But if there's no quality, is it a life at all? He would have been in a coma for the rest of his life. Decided it was best to just let him go.

All I can do is send my condolences.

As you imply, life is a precious thing, but a living death is not. He would certainly be pleased to know that he has changed other lives for the better in the form of the organ donations.

:Hug2:
 

DragonHeart

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Thank you.

Life goes on. My mom still has to work today, but later she's going over to sit with her brothers and start figuring things out. He didn't leave a will that anyone is aware of, and all the other arrangements need to be made as well.

As for me, I'm just going to do what I can for support for this stage of things. Keep their side of the house clean, make a few things, etc.

Late start today, just making breakfast now and then I'll get on that. I managed to sleep last night at least, but I still haven't really eaten much in a couple days now, so I gotta take care of myself too.
 

Brightdreamer

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And it's Saturday. Right after a Friday, again. Go figure.

Plans for the day are indefinite. There was talk of taking Dad out for an early Father's Day dinner (on the grounds that tomorrow will likely be more crowded wherever we go), and also some mumbling about unspecified yard work involving a chainsaw, so until I know more I can't really plan my day. Ergh... what good is trying to establish a scheduling habit if nobody else respects my time enough to at least vaguely suggest when they need me for things?

Away I wander.
 

cmhbob

Did...did I do that?
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Life is such a fragile thing. One day you're there and then the next, simply gone.

My family made the decision to remove my uncle from life support and donate his kidneys tonight. There's just no one home anymore. It was a fast decision because he had severe brain swelling, if we wanted to do any life saving measures it would have had to be done immediately. But if there's no quality, is it a life at all? He would have been in a coma for the rest of his life. Decided it was best to just let him go.

I think I'm going to try to get some rest for now, there's going to be a lot to do in the coming days.

I'm so sorry for your loss, DH. As the son-in-law of a woman who received a heart transplant, I'm very glad your family made the decision they did.