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eruthford

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So I need to vent about something crazy that just happened, like five minutes ago happened here at the library, and for reasons that will become clear, I cannot go venting about this on Facebook as it has too many high school classmates on it. (Weird opening, but you'll see.)

So here I am at the table at the library with my laptop computer pretending to be a writer, trying to re-do the opening of my memoir, trying to describe the feeling a few minutes before things went really wrong. We knew that things were off, and the future seemed really, really uncertain, and my wife and I were both silent.

So to attempt describing this feeling, I typed, "Numerous skylights brought white light in to the waiting area. I had never seen natural light look so sterile. Everything about this room was supposed to be comforting and modern, but the white light was making my toes curl as I think about a blank, strange future, the way I’d felt as a college freshman walking uncertainly towards a blue mail drop box on the street with a letter in my hand telling a girl who was attending a different college I hoped we could be more than friends. A different world was about to start when someone said something."

And to provide a little background on said girl. I'm 37, last saw her when I was 19, mainly because I was an idiot and sent said letter. And, I'm a sensitive person who doesn't let things go easily, and have been kicking myself for almost 20 years because if I'd known how to talk to girls when I was 19, I might be able to exchange Christmas cards and stuff. And, I've been happily married to someone else for almost 10 years now and have a son, but because I'm a sensitive goofball, I still think about this girl several times a week and my dumb decision.

Ok, so now you know that -- long time no see, lots of regret, ready to use that girl in a metaphor and so I type these words in to Scrivener, and...

She walks in to the library for storytime with her 1-year-old. Yes, it was she. First time since 1998 when she made it very clear that I was causing problems with her new boyfriend and "We had all prayed about this," which means a huge deal when a Baptist says it.

Needless to say, I closed the laptop screen. She stopped to talk, and was quite cheerful, wanting to chit-chat and catch up and talk about the upcoming high-school reunion and stuff like that, and I'm nodding and smiling and thinking, would the things on my word-processor screen please stop coming to life and freaking me out! Although it's nice to see that she's not still mad at me or anything.

Ok, that's kind of it. Thank you for reading.
 

V.J. Allison

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I'm fit to slap a few wannabes/a$$hole writers with a shovel.

Correction, make that a cast iron frying pan.

First of all, don't ask me for advice on writing then tell me I know "nothing" about writing because I said submitting an unedited first draft will only get rejections. (long story!)

Secondly, trying to act important and getting snarky on my posts about my writing journey will only have my best friend frying someone's worthless tush. Sorry if someone feels usurped and threatened by me getting a publishing contract after *years* of working for it, but I got one on my own merit, and had *no* help from others in a Facebook RPG thread that was published as "your work".

Thirdly, bragging that there's "eight" publishers interested makes me skeptical as it is, sucking up to me and expecting me to put in a good word for them at *my* publisher confirms my suspicions - no publishers interested and said person thinks they have an "in" because person and I went to school together. (Same person who wrote their stuff with others' help in an RPG thread)

Fourthly, don't tell me your story ideas and say "Well, what are you waiting for? I have a best selling idea for you! Write it!". Um, not with you looking over my shoulder constantly. If it's such a great idea, why don't you write it? I have enough ideas of my own, notably the manuscript I'm currently working on.

Lastly, self published is still published. If you chose that route, I am 100% behind you and cheering you on. Heck, I may even buy a copy of the book to show my support. However, if someone acts like it's only for losers who can't get published otherwise, and I can name off at least three people who feel like that, I will say something. Being self published isn't for losers. Anyone in the real industry knows things have to be perfect - from the story itself to the editing, to the formatting and the actual characters - or the book is going to flop, and the author's career with it.

Maybe if people did their actual research and were willing to learn instead of thinking they knew it all from the get go - thinking writing was easy because so and so writes and got published - some of us wouldn't be fit to crack them over the head with a baseball bat. :e2thud:

My apologies about the rant. I'm just fed up with people.
 

Brightdreamer

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Wednesday morning, and work resumes.

Can I go back to bed yet?

Long night of weird dreams and spotty rest... so not looking forward to this. At least the head's not as wonky as it was for a while - mostly hits when I'm lying down or getting up in the morning. Fingers crossed it won't kick in at work.

Ergh.

And I spent yesterday reading, then watching some tutorial videos for work, then trying (and failing) to come up with color schemes and such for the site overhaul. Procrastination work, mostly. At least I'm getting better at resuming my nightly writing exercises.

Away I go.
 

Linnet_Crawford

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Currently playing the refresh-and-wait query game and watching the blizzard outside. And thinking that I should probably do less writing during my day job ;)
 

Brightdreamer

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Swingin' by again on Wednesday afternoon. The weather's been rainy and cloudy and sunny and breezy, on a rinse-and-repeat pattern every half-hour or so.

Work was worklike. Nice to be missed...

Now I'm sitting around waiting to hear if I'm needed to drive anywhere. A relative is having eye issues that may or may not be a detatching retina; if it is, he'll need someone to drive him to a specialist and back. So we're waiting near the phone, just in case.

Away I wander.
 

DragonHeart

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Managed to shake off the worst of the cold, finally. I still have occasional coughing fits but the congestion is mostly gone, and I'm not relying on drugs to function and sleep anymore, so there's that.

I'm not what I would call comfortable at work, but I've been getting as much assistance as the ops manager can spare. He's been sitting with me instead of in his office showing me whatever he can. I do like that, I mean everyone's been really nice to me for the most part. There's just a lot of strain right now since I'm not up to speed so one of the dispatchers who used to be doing basically my job has had to pick up the slack. There's a lot of apparent tension between the regular dispatchers and the 3-4 of us who comprise the pharmacy sector of the business. Honestly it's not that different from my old job, where as a photo tech I was basically separate from the rest of the front store crew due to having vastly different priorities and responsibilities. So it's a little tough, and a bit disheartening, but nothing I'm not already used to. I am hoping that once I have a fully functioning workstation (no working phone is really crippling me right now...) and a bit more experience I can try to start smoothing things over with the day and night dispatch crews, both of whom I end up seeing due to my shift overlap.

I know it's not really up to me, but I really don't care for office politics and all this high school level cliquey crap.

Anyway. I've been getting home later at night due to a slight change in hours--I can either show up earlier and fight morning traffic or stay a little later to make sure I'm getting my full hourage. I'd rather stay a little later, gives the evening traffic time to clear out a bit, and half the time I end up staying late anyway because I literally cannot leave the building until all of the critical pharmacy stuff is done. That often means waiting for late driver(s) to show up, and then I still have to do the paperwork after that. So yeah, it just made sense.

On the downside it does mean my evening schedule, such as it was, is completely shot now and I just plain don't feel like doing anything when I get home. I really need to start getting back on track.

For now, I may not be totally sick anymore but I still tire more easily, so it's another early night. Off to reddit for a bit and then conk out and do it all again tomorrow.
 

Brightdreamer

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I know it's not really up to me, but I really don't care for office politics and all this high school level cliquey crap.

Amen to that... Sometimes I think I'm the only person who left high school behind when I got my diploma.

Just poppin' through quick for a quick update on that relative: it's not a detatched retina, but possibly a precursor and definitely something to keep an eye (so to speak) on, so he goes in to the eye doc again in two weeks unless it gets worse, in which case he goes in immediately. (He's getting off a cold with lots of coughing, and for the past day or three he'd started seeing a "fluttery" dark area in his vision even when not coughing. Being nearsighted increases the risk for detached retina, as does being older, so he didn't take any chances.)

And if I didn't mention before, the other relative who had kidney Issues does indeed have a slow-growing tumor... one that apparently showed up in tests five years ago, but her quack doctor didn't say anything. Grrr... Anyway, it means surgery later this year.

I keep hoping the Negative One's recent health issues count for the things-happen-in-threes rule... keeping an extra eye peeled anyway, just in case.
 

DragonHeart

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Mr. Hammond, the phones are working. Yes, I got my phone fixed at work. Well, sort of. What we actually did was swap my phone for some other random phone that did work, and then when IT finally called to work on it I just went ahead and got my original phone fixed. So I went from no working phone to 2 working phones, lol. The fixed phone will go wherever it is phones are stored so the next person who needs one doesn't have to go through what I did. Figured it was the least I could do.

Surprise audit today, so I got to meet a couple of the reps I'll be dealing with on the phone and through emails. That was fun. :rolleyes

One late driver but I still managed to get out right on time, which was nice.

Got home to find one of my articles I put up on a "beer money" site sold, which was neat. I only made a few bucks but hey, not bad for something that was originally just cluttering up my hard drive. I like that you can upload articles and then people can decide to buy them or not instead of trying to pitch to editors. I cleaned up a couple of old pieces I had just hanging around and threw them on there, then completely forgot about it until I saw that email. Making money while making money, I'll take that lol.

Anyway traffic was backed up for no reason (I hate 93...) so I didn't get home until 7:15. Ate dinner, now I've got my coffee and just doing some internet rounds.
 

Brightdreamer

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Poking about for no earthly reason save general procrastination... don't mind me...

Thursday has been a suspiciously springlike, even sunny day. I expect downpours for the weekend as payment...

Work was worklike again. Finally saw the guy who started when I was on vacation - wondering when he'll flake out like most every other new hire we've tried for the past several months.

Off to debate dinner options. Will see what relatives have in mind...
 

Brightdreamer

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Friday, and another if-you-don't-like-the-weather-wait-five-minutes day.

Work was unusually light. I expect we'll be paying for it soon.

Right now, I'm just decompressing after work and shopping, keeping an eye on the time so I know when to add veggies to the roast in the oven.

Away I drift...
 

DragonHeart

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Pretty quiet day at work for me too. Shockingly almost everything went out on time, which meant all the drivers were back in by 4:30 and I had all my paperwork done well before 5:00. I still stayed until 6 though for the hours, and only left half an hour early. I did finally get a chance to rearrange my desk and scrub my nasty phone, the thing had so much crap on it it wasn't even the right color anymore. But now it's on the correct side of the desk and I have a little more room, plus much better, if crude cable management.

Really unsatisfying drive home due to traffic but hey, still made it home a full half hour early. Just finished a really delicious dinner and I've got my victory coffee. I don't know what to do tonight--kinda feel like a movie, actually. Might go see what's on the 'flix.
 

Brightdreamer

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And Saturday slouches slothfully (and soggily) by...

Doing my usual slack-off Saturday bit, though I'm working on getting a start on site overhaul work this weekend. I can fiddle with details like color schemes and art and other procrastinating bits later; by now, I think I know enough to get going on the bare-bones structure and templates. So the plan, such as it is, is to review a few videos today and get a rough-sketch idea down, then tomorrow to start building. (Not that it'll be remotely ready to go live for some time - got a thousand-odd pages of content to deal with, after all - but I've had a brain-itch about this for too long and it's time I started scratching.)
 

Alcasgra

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Having a one hour chat on a facebook group cause it's my turn for an author takeover.
Posting a few memes that I think is hilarious.
Reading and replying to several messages on my timeline.
Trying to stop myself from going across the street and strangling the noisy, cackling chickens belonging to my neighbor. LOL!
 

DragonHeart

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Catching up on chores today. I spent all day yesterday doing laundry.

I've done pretty much everything I feel inclined to do already, so I think I might read until lunch and then maybe think about anything else I want to do before relaxing for the rest of the day.

Really want to start working on building new routines so I'm not stuck doing all this crap on my days off. I'd rather push myself that extra bit during the week so I can do whatever I want on the weekend guilt free.
 

Keithy

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Drowning in housework.

I once did this thing on Facebook to see what sort of partner I would make. The answer was that I would make someone a good housewife one day. One problem is that I'm married already. And the other problem should be obvious.

Whoever invented dust needs shooting.
 
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Brightdreamer

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And somehow it's Sunday. Not nearly as fun as Sundae...

I started a productivity/time management course on Lynda the other day, and should get back to finishing that as soon as relatives are unlikely to bug me. (Yes, I'm aware of the sad irony of procrastinating on a time management course...) Then, again relatives pending, I hope to get back to site stuff.

Away I wander.
 

SJSantiago

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It is Sunday afternoon so I am rushing to get homework done last minute of course lol! I had to shoot and edit a movie that is due by tomorrow... just now doing it...wtf is wrong with me lol
I have band practice at 7 so I have a few more hours to get this and 1 other assignmet done...assuming this youtube video ever uploads...why does it take soooooo long?

oh and HULLLOOOO friends, been away for a long time because a lot of reallllly sad things happened in my life and it took me awhile to work through everything but all is better now and things are looking up :) Life is good!
 

cmhbob

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Working my way through crits of my short story for school. It's been...interesting. the setting is a hybrid bar/restaurant with a dance floor. It's got a real bar, plus tables, plus booths. Apparently in a 113-word paragraph describing this place, three uses of the word "booths" was too many. Yet three uses of "wall" was just fine, according to one reader.

Some of the crits are very helpful, like calling me on my overuse of "so" at the beginning of sentences in dialog. But how many different ways should I refer to "booths" in one graph when I'm describing a place? The critter referred to Konrath's "rule" about never using the same word twice in a paragraph. Nice rule, but rules can be broken when you're careful, and coming up with synonyms for "booth" to avoid breaking that rule is going to look silly.
 

Brightdreamer

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And Sunday wraps up...

Made a little progress on that time management course (up to the point where I need to gather actual organizing materials, so it's on hold for a day or so while I manage that), and incremental site overhaul progress. Then I sat around reading, watched a movie with dinner (Sing, via on-demand; slow and scattered start, fun finish, and overall entertaining, though I'm just as glad I didn't pay theater prices), and polished off the night with a few Rifftrax shorts. Now I need to write something so I can pretend I haven't wasted my day. And, no, this post doesn't count, not even by my low standards.

Dang it.

Oh, yeah - also got the e-mail about the annual camp logo design. Another wordy-as-heck slogan I have to cram into a picture, but at least the theme sounds fun. Expecting the second camp to contact us eventually... and also fully expecting a duller theme, 'cause that's the way those guys roll. (Not that anyone attending camp really cares, TBH, but it matters to those of us designing the logo.)
 
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DragonHeart

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I really need to get back to writing. This whole new job thing has totally disrupted everything, and with the chaotic timing I'm just having the hardest time putting any semblance of a schedule back together. But I do know this isn't the sort of job I want to do long term, and no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise writing will always be the dream.

I think this weekend will probably be when I work all this out; I'll finally get my first paycheck this week so I can also do my budget at the same time.

For now though, I had dinner and coffee, now to take an early shower and wind down for the evening. I only go to bed about an hour earlier than I used to but with all my old routines disrupted I find I'm more likely to just head upstairs and spend too much time on reddit.
 

Brightdreamer

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And Monday fades away in darkness...

Weather was variable - downpours to sunshine in less than a minute. We managed to get out of the house for a quick walk near a lake, then grabbed lunch and came home. Thus was the highlight of the day... Also just finished reading another book (Caliban's War by James S. A Crowley, Book 2 of the Expanse series - I'll just say that it's a good thing I have Book 3 on hand, though I need to start something else before I pick it up), so I gotta get the review written up.

And I totally dropped the ball on Lynda classes and web work, not to mention writing. But I did manage to grab some ref pics for the logo, and I got a couple freebie/public domain font options.

I'll pretend something in there counts as useful...

Away I drift.
 

Wicked

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Eating cinnamon Juju bears. That's breakfast.

Candy for breakfast is probably a good sign I should just go back to bed now, while I'm behind.