The Comedy Cabaret holiday workshop in which cray becomes a raving lunatic!

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Jaycinth

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***This is the part of town your mother warned you about. But you come here anyway. You heard the rumors. The truth is, well, interesting.

The cab driver chuckled when he let you out on the corner. He knows all about it. After all, he comes down here a few times a night.

You’re standing in front of a club. Through the windows you can see the patrons dancing. You’ve been in that club before. But it is not your destination tonight.
No.
This evening you walk past the club and turn down the poorly lit alley. You pass a dumpster. The resident accosts you, but you knowthe routine and you’ve brought along a couple bottles of Nighttrain to pay the toll.

A cat hisses and a dog snarls. You’re used to it. The requisite number of bacon wrapped steak nuggets always does the trick.

It’s a dead end. But to your left, there’s a door. You know the signal. You get in. The 1,200-pound yak knows you; you’ve never caused any trouble.
You descend the stairs, familiar scents drift past your nose. The cloak dude takes your coat and you walk through the door into.............***


Welcome to the Comedy Cabaret!
I’m glad to see you here.
..Quite frankly, I’m glad to see any of you here.
.... so you’ll be happy to know we’ll no longer be offering sushi.
On the bright side, though,
I’ve hired a new chef.
His name is Melkeesadeck
That’s right. Just like the bible, but spelled funny.
I call him ‘Mel’
He calls me, ah, ...it doesn’t translate well.
But...he knows how long to boil a cheeseburger,
and how many times to hit it, too.
Seriously folks,
The bar is well stocked,
I know what you all prefer,
Your servers are ‘Cindy’ and ‘Ron’. They work for tips, so please be generous.

As for the teenagers hiding out in the back of the bar, I know who you are. See that black light enhanced beaded curtain? Through that curtain is the arcade. You can purchase an arm band for a joke and play all day, but no way is the bartender going to give you anything stronger than a double chocolate mocha-latte malted shake.

So folks, make yourselves comfortable. Order a drink and sit a spell, or grab the mike.

It is ALWAYS open mike night in this caberet.

And, now, I’m going to step off the stage, and open it up to you. Tell a joke or a quip and anecdote or sing your favorite ‘comedy song’.
***steps off stage and meanders to the back of the club to watch.***
 

Haggis

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Totally not the all new Comedy Cabaret, now 100% cray-free

So, this is totally not the Comedy Cabaret. At least for Friday.

The good news is that we've changed the key, and cray can't get in here anymore. If you see someone who claims to be cray, it's not cray. It's a figment of your imagination. Or cray's imagination. Whichever.

So enjoy yourself and we push toward the next 25K when we'll have to do this all over again if I remember how.
 
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CassandraW

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Is it time to open the Lagavulin?
 

PorterStarrByrd

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If you can't figure it out, Haggis, check with the guys over at the Old Farts lounge. I'm sure they will remember.
 

PorterStarrByrd

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It's SOOOO appropriate that, as the thread begins anew, the NG's baby picture is at the top of the page.
 

Cella

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I might have my baby in here
 

Haggis

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just keep pushing buttons. That's what I do.
That's pretty much what I did when I tried to do the new thread. It had been so long I forgot how.
I might have my baby in here
Please do it on reg's shift, if you don't mind. I mean, I'd try to help, but how the hell do I know when it's the right time to push?
 

CassandraW

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I might have my baby in here

*waves Lagavulin bottle*

Excellent. You couldn't pick a better place. I've got the anesthetic ready.

Please do it on reg's shift, if you don't mind. I mean, I'd try to help, but how the hell do I know when it's the right time to push?

Eh, Cella will be fine. She's been practicing her reverse kegels for ages.
 

Haggis

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Cass, can you help Cella figure out the tax advantages of having her baby this year? I mean, I believe it's huge, but, you know, I'm just a Chihuahua. Chances are she'd believe you before she'd believe me.
 

CassandraW

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I'll work with her, Haggis.

Also, if she has the baby here in the cabbie, surely I can manage some kind of tax break for us, at least if I cheat a little.
 

CassandraW

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I'm going to be Cella's doula, too. I don't really know what they do, but all my organic-y, natural-birthy, earthy-crunchy, back-to-nature mom friends paid big bucks to have one, so I know they must be totally essential. And I'm totally essential, obviously, so I'm sure I can handle it.

What do you think -- they maybe do a dance to get the baby moving?
 

CassandraW

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Heh. I noticed it when I glanced at my reps. I thought at first one of the mods had gone mad deleting all my posts in P&CE.
 

tiddlywinks

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*stumbles in*
*looks around*

Yes! I found it! Newbie didn't get ditched this time. Though, where in the heck did my other highly valued posts go?

Sniff. I worked hard on those.

Did I miss the revolution yet? I was busy oohing and aahing over my new toy here. Shiny new keys to pound on and craft bad puns...
 
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