Quote Originally Posted by porlock View Post
I heard you were chased by a bully at school today, but I can see by your smile that he didn't catch you. Well, come here and sit down on the front porch swing by Grandma and I’ll tell you about the meanest bully there ever was. George, be a good grandpa and get us girls some lemonade, and be sure to put some additive in mine.
It feels a bit rushed to me, which is off-putting. And the narrator talking to both the granddaughter and her husband to me feels a little disembodied. It's not quite putting me into the scene on the porch with them.