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Thread: [Critique Game] Post The First Three Sentences of your Short Story

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  1. #26
    Will Collins Will Collins's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    1,183
    Thanks Rufio, Derek, Don and Pia. Yes, I think I might change the first line to be the sister's name instead.
    Last edited by Will Collins; 07-16-2019 at 11:18 PM.
    Book 1 in my YA Fantasy series, 'A Darker Shade of Sorcery' is FREE.

    Pick up a copy here
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01...=1&*entries*=0

    Thank You




    Evan Umbra is the newest Venator to enter Veneseron, the school for demon hunters.

    A Venator is a wizard, a spy and a demon hunter rolled into one. They’re taught how to wield their sorcery and enchanted weaponry by orcs, elfpires and aliens alike...

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