Hi Denevius! Vida here!
First of all:
REVISION: Tentative Title: A GRANDFATHER’S LOVE; Genre: Urban Horror; Estimated Word Count: 30,000 words.
30.000 words count as short story? That was a genuine question, I am very curious. All this time I thought stories over 10.000 words count as Novella? Was I wrong or is it different in different countries? Or is Novella another term for a short story?
Now, for the review!
Kim Sey-Mi crouched on the rough brick wall and stared at the darkened window in the adjacent apartment.
I can feel the atmosphere from this one. It kinda took me a while to realize that xe is crouching on top of a brick wall instead of behind a brick wall. But that could be my English failing me. (Yes, I'm not native, plot twist I know.) Somewhere behind the closed blinds, the target had a girl with him, a high school student the company had been following for years.
You know, this might be out of context, and I know you've already know about this already. But I just want to remind you that the word 'years' is very, very powerful. Her bosses wanted the suspect arrested, but Sey-Mi wanted to kill him and save him from years of Gwanlyo torture.
The characterization is pretty subtle. She's merciless, but kind. Level headed and is pretty good at creating decision.
Sentence, Paragraphs, I have no problem with it.
Story-wise? Well, damsel in distress is one of the oldest trope out there. Kinda cliche, but it can be a pretty good story opener. I'd read on to figure out if the girl is in trouble.
Also, from what I get, the Company's been following the high school girl for years. Why the girl though? Why not the target itself? If the girl is the main interest then why isn't she the target?
^That, was not something you should be worried about. It's actually me feeling curious about your story. Which is good.
I guess, that's all I can give you, your story is good and I think it's pretty awesome. Just remember, I'm not a professional so please take my advice with a chunk of salt. I am no better than you are.
And As Always, Thanks for Reading!!! ^_^