Your wish is granted...

WTH - the thread died??? SLC -- the next time such a travesty occurs you may grant your own wish free of charge.

Well, Djinn was bored ... missing so many days from the evil wish thread ... he created a 'Spin Your Work Days' wheel. Some weird ones on the wheel - one has you working 8 days in a week. Not sure how that works out, but ... sorry. I know that's not what you asked for - better luck next wish.

I wish for more piano time - mind numbing work iz starting to get to me.

Granted. Unfortunately, however, you failed to specify exactly what sort of piano time you wanted, so you now have a piano teacher living next door and get to listen to hours upon hours of new students taking lessons.


I wish I could avoid catching any further colds this winter--one's been enough, thanks.

Granted. But the one you already have (it's still lurking there) will last until April.

I wish I would never see another cockroach.

Granted. You have been blinded, so you will never see another cockroach. Or anything else for that matter.

I wish I hadn't forgotten to put on my rings this morning. It feels so weird not wearing them (first world problems...)

Granted.

We've found your ring. We're sending two hobbits to bring it back to you. I'm sure everything will work out fine for you.



I wish I could get rid of these last vestiges of my cold.

Congrats on 50k.

All the djinns are off early for Thanksgiving, but we were able to locate John Coffey - 'Like Coffee. Only not spelled the' -
Yes, John. We know.

He was able to remove the last vestiges, but the house shook as if hit by a magnitude 8.7 earthquake. You’ve got some nice jagged cracks in the walls, a lot of broken china, and a natural skylight.

I wish I had a chair which was designed to alleviate lower back pain.

Granted. The Genie found this chair in an old prison. It looks kinda funny and has electric wires attached to it, but the Genie is sure you'll never have back pain again.

I wish I hadn't gotten TWO good job offers for the same day.

*Gives chair back to Nym* This chair ain’t working. It clearly needs a battery, but there’s only an empty slot with a note ‘Insert Cray here'.


So to your wish - I think I’m much too late to go back in time and reverse that turrible sichiation, so instead I’ll send you to the AW rock mines. Apparently we need to make a few more slots for posts and possibly a new page. That’s why this thread has been so silent.


I wish I could get through these next few days without losing my shnit.

Half-granted. (I empathize with your concerns about shnit loss.) I’ll slow down tomorrow’s time, down to the individual nanoseconds using reversed shnit propulsion, and together we can examine what it is about these upcoming few days that worry you so much. Our nanoseconds of reflection will enlighten us both and then the resultant day/s will become a cakewalk.


I wish my current edits would stop conflicting with my ideal of:
...it's really annoying when the fingers falter.

Fully granted, and doubly so, depending on your willingness!

*pop*

Here is a lovely Chardonnay. No? I am enjoying Pinot myself, perhaps you would like a glass of this.
Heavens, what's that you say? Scotch? Vodka? Yes, let me see, I have some in the back. Do let us get to know one another. Have a shot, a wee bit, a dram or a glass. Or a pint. (Some come in pints.)

See? Now? No edits possible, but the fingers do fairly fly do they not? You can certainly forge onwards, and worry about edits tomorrow, or, perhaps not until the weekend.

~~~

My wish:

Oh heavens. I wish, that I was a better writer!

Granted.

You are now grumpy, cynical, envious, and dour. ... Oh, you said "better?" Sorry, bitter is as best as we can manage these days.




I wish I worked with more competent people.

Granted. You are working in the White House, where everyone is super-competent.

I wish the construction workers outside my windows would shut off their damned machines. The noise has been driving me nuts for the past three days!

Granted.

All the machines shut off. ALL the machines. Might be the fault of the North Koreans. Probably just the competent people I (now) work with courtesy of your last wish. Electronics were over-rated anyway. You do have skills that don't depend on modern equipment, right?




I wish I knew where that smell was coming from... or what it was...

Hmmm. That's an odd request, but ok. *Pulls out the SmellFinder 3000 with it's fancy C_Thru_Wallz(Yep that's its name) vid cam. Locates the demon portal in the basement.* Sorry didn't find anything. That smell is probably a holdover from the cold you were suffering from.

I wish for there more vaca days, so I can take the rest of December off.

Granted.

You have the rest of December off, and can use your severance pay to go on vacation. What you do come January is not this particular genie's purview.



I wish I could shake this cough.

Granted!

You do shake that infernal cough but unfortunately, in carelessly separating it from your relieved throat in the presence of a wandering witch, it gets the gleeful opportunity to transform into a poltercroak. This is the hopping hiccuping phlegm hurling hoppity hoppin husk of a frog that got crushed by a falling tree that a drunk lumberjack sent wayward, the witch kept its rather unravishing slimy body in her pocket for an opportunity like this. Good luck stopping that swine stomping all over your face at night and popping up beneath you in the toilet bowl during the morning routine.

I wish plates weren't so damn noisy when you stacked them in the cupboard.

Granted.

All your plates are paper. It's all you can afford.




I wish that damn frog would sing in front of other people.

Couldn’t get that to work. We got ‘Milli’ to hide behind the curtain, but he could only lip synch, while the frog danced across the stage. The frog got the hook after a few minutes.

I wish I could find an alternative to Caffeine – something that can make you clear headed without being jittery.

I've got just the thing. Meet me at midnight beside the dumpster behind the old pool hall (the one the cops shut down). Bring money, and make sure you're not being followed.

I wish I could get through December without hearing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Granted.

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" is now the only Christmas song you shall hear.


Was that too cruel? I feel that may have been too cruel. Oh well, other things to do this morning.






I wish I could figure out my home office lighting situation.

Granted--you've figured it out! It involves thousands of fireflies kept in old baby food jars strung from a network of silken cords woven across the ceiling of your office, but it's perfect. Unfortunately it's December and fireflies are in short supply...


I wish "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" had never been written.

Granted.

But "Santa, Baby" is still a thing.



I wish it was snowing, not raining.

Granted. Snow falls, but it is a wet snow, and when you look for your house, your car, and maybe even your cat , you can't find them, because they are buried in slush.

I wish slcboston had never mentioned "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

Granted. You have Alzheimers and cant remember the mention of the song.

I wish i could have the energy all toddlers seem to posess from sun up to sun down.

Granted. You ever see that movie Monkey Business. Well that's you. Your kitchen has more food on the ceiling than on your plate. Your bed (frame and all) somehow ended up in the street in front of your house, and you drove your car into the pool.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.