Your wish is granted...

sacredmime

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Okay, we get to play evil genies.
I'll make a wish.
The next person grants the wish but corrupts it somehow. Then he or she posts a new wish for the next person to corrupt. And so on.

Example-
ME: I wish I had Spiderman's powers.

NEXT PERSON: Granted, but you now have four extra arms and an appetite for flies. I wish I were immortal.

NEXT PERSON: Granted, you're stuck in suspended animation forever. I wish I were taller.
etc.

Alright, for real...
I wish I had a best-selling novel.
 

Sage

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Cheering you all on!
Granted. Here's a copy of The DaVinci Code. All yours, free of charge.

I wish I had a million dollars.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but it's all in pennies which are going to drop down on you from the sky right about....now.

I wish I were dating a supermodel.
 

poetinahat

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Granted -- meet Spuds Mackenzie.
Granted -- here's Fabio.

I wish I were a professional jazz musician.
 
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Danger Jane

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Granted--your salary will be around fifty bucks a year. But you're STILL a pro.

I wish I had a note-taking machine.
 

PattiTheWicked

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Granted! Unfortunately, it takes all the notes in an obscure Proto-Indoeuropean language that you don't speak.

I wish I could take a vacation.
 

luxintenebrae

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Granted. You will spend six days and seven nights in...Death Valley! Water, sunscreen, air conditioning, and car to leave in are not included.

I wish I could speak 5 different languages.
 

Jewel101

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Granted. But they are all languages no one understands, even you.
I wish I could live in a castle.
 

Forbidden Snowflake

I'm quite put out.
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Granted, it has no ceiling, crumbling walls and has been built before there was anything remotely like a heating system, but it's a castle.

I wish I would never suffer from writers block.
 

Rob-rite

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Granted, but all you're able to knock out is cheesy dialogue for the lowest of low-budget porn flicks.

I wish I had x-ray vision.
 

poetinahat

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Granted... but you still live with your parents.

I wish I could fly.
 

JoeEkaitis

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Granted, and Dahling, you look absolutely devastating in that skimpy Virgin Atlantic flight attendant's uniform.

I wish for a spot among the top 5 on the New York Times best seller list.
 

eldragon

in a van down by the river
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You got it. Who would think a Pornographic picture book would be such a hot seller?



I wish I was satisfied with my life.
 

sacredmime

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Granted. You find it but no one will hire you because you're "overqualified."

I wish I were the next American idol.
 
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alleycat

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Granted. The only problem is they're are all posters in the Take It Outside thread. Good luck.

I wish Microsoft XP was somewhat more secure than a paper bag with holes in it.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but now it's so antiseptic, it's actually toxic.

I wish for a chocolate chip cookie.
 

alleycat

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You are. Oops. They messed up your classification. Sorry, they made you senior janitor. Close enough for government work.

I wish I had a horse.
 

eldragon

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You can. Unfortunately, you'll still have to pay for the gas. ($12K per tank, is what I hear.)


I wish I could go back in time.