I do think our society or members of it like to pretend women aren't violent, or aren't ever the instigators. I have one feminist 'friend' on facebook and whenever she posts such articles it is always 'male violence' or abuse by men (ironically it never stopped her from being real life friends with a guy who slapped his ex-girlfriend across the face in public, but that's another matter).
However, the reality is that women still are on average much smaller and lighter than men on average, with a shorter reach and so on. Even if they '
instigate' something at similar rates, women overwhelmingly bear the brunt of severe injuries and so on. And just because somebody 'started it' doesn't mean anyone else is obligated to continue it.
In general people need to learn to deal with interpersonal conflict better.
That includes corporal punishment aimed at children as well. It's a lot harder for people to learn not to resort to violence as adults if that was how they were treated growing up. I know parents
who to this day think smacking a child for misbehaving is perfectly okay, regardless of all the psychological studies out there showing how counter-productive it is.
ETA: here are some stats from 2010 for anyone who's interested
http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf