#ViolenceIsViolence — The double standard of domestic violence

kuwisdelu

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Which is, again, the point of the exercise. We are talking about passive aggression which is used against men that is harder to detect, harder to cry against, and harder to get action going. Marriage counsellor might work or divorce might work. Or some serious work with a psychologist to unwrap the knot that has been woven.

And how much of that is because culturally we don't take women seriously as aggressors?

Women are like hurricanes.
 

Roxxsmom

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And how much of that is because culturally we don't take women seriously as aggressors?

Women are like hurricanes.

Well, I thought the hurricane analogy was interesting as a parallel, but I was roundly shouted down there and told it was a stupid post ;)

And what I did right there, by the way, is an example of passive aggression. So is masturbating in front of someone who has just turned you down for sex (especially if it's done in a way that keeps that person awake).

When someone psychologically abuses someone by telling them they're worthless, ugly, fat frigid (or perverted/lecherous), stupid, useless, and no one else could ever love them, that's not passive aggression. That's verbal aggression and overt psychological abuse.

Now giving someone a gym membership for their birthday "because I care about your health" might count as passive aggression that's also emotionally abusive.
 
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Wilde_at_heart

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I do think our society or members of it like to pretend women aren't violent, or aren't ever the instigators. I have one feminist 'friend' on facebook and whenever she posts such articles it is always 'male violence' or abuse by men (ironically it never stopped her from being real life friends with a guy who slapped his ex-girlfriend across the face in public, but that's another matter).
However, the reality is that women still are on average much smaller and lighter than men on average, with a shorter reach and so on. Even if they 'instigate' something at similar rates, women overwhelmingly bear the brunt of severe injuries and so on. And just because somebody 'started it' doesn't mean anyone else is obligated to continue it.

In general people need to learn to deal with interpersonal conflict better.
That includes corporal punishment aimed at children as well. It's a lot harder for people to learn not to resort to violence as adults if that was how they were treated growing up. I know parents who to this day think smacking a child for misbehaving is perfectly okay, regardless of all the psychological studies out there showing how counter-productive it is.

ETA: here are some stats from 2010 for anyone who's interested http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_report2010-a.pdf
 
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William Haskins

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Goalkeeper and Olympic gold medalist Hope Solo, aka Hope Amelia Stevens, is being held without bail at the South Correctional Entity Regional Jail in Des Moines, Wash. in an investigation on two counts of domestic-violence assault.

The goalkeeper for the Seattle Reign FC was arrested overnight after being accused of striking her sister and nephew. The report in the case says both suffered "visible injuries." Officers were called to Stevens' house, which she shares with former NFL player Jerramy Stevens, around 1am.
http://gawker.com/soccer-star-hope-solo-arrested-on-domestic-violence-cha-1594212172