Do you share your novels with your significant other?

Dark Princess

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I did a quick search for this and didn't find anything. I hope this isn't rehashing an old conversation or in the wrong place.

I've been writing novels for a few years and it was one of the first things my boyfriend learned about me. We've known each other for a few years and every once in awhile he'll ask me if he can read some of my work, especially if I tell him about a milestone or simply that I'm in a good mood because I wrote 2k words that day.

I always make up excuses for not really sharing anything with him. I'm afraid that he's biased (which I'm sure he is), and that his opinion -- whether good or bad -- will color my perception of him and our relationship. But I'm also reminded of something Stephen King said in On Writing where he stated that his wife is his Ideal Reader and that she's always the first person to read his work. I still have mixed feelings about it.

So do you share your work -- in any stage -- with your significant other? Why, or why not?
 

Jazen

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My hubby knows I'm working on my first book, but hasn't read it. He's heard me talk about it, and will ask me questions, but he's not a big reader plus it's a romance of sorts therefore not really his cup of tea. I guess if he really wanted to read it, I'd let him.
 

Anna Spargo-Ryan

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Yes. I read a lot of my work in progress aloud to my boyfriend. He's definitely not a writer, and not even really a reader, so he mostly blinks and says something like, "I don't know what good writing is, but I bet it's something like that." His primary function is to act as a sounding board so that I can hear where the writing is bad. Bless him.

I do think you're right to worry about bias, because it is so hard to give constructive feedback to someone you love.

On one hand, it's really lovely that he's interested, but you should never feel obligated to share anything with anyone. If you're not comfortable, don't. If you are later on, then do.

Keep in mind also that Tabitha King is a writer. I'd hazard a guess that most of us aren't married to other writers.
 

RightHoJeeves

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I did, up until recently (newly single).

And I've got to say I was really happy with the feedback I got. There were things she liked, but more importantly things she didn't, and she was able to explain why she didn't like them. Actually very helpful feedback.

I do think you're right to worry about bias, because it is so hard to give constructive feedback to someone you love.

This is true, but I think if you make the person aware that by giving you honest feedback they're actually helping you, then they will probably be honest. I showed my first novel to three close friends and they were all able to say "I liked XYZ but I don't think ABC worked etc". It was hugely helpful. Maybe they understand the importance of honest criticism because they're all creatives though.
 

buirechain

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I do think you're right to worry about bias, because it is so hard to give constructive feedback to someone you love.

My long term girlfriend reads my story, and helps edit them, but I'm not too worried about bias for two reasons. One, I have other readers--each of my readers, including my girlfriend, have different focuses and different places for their critiques, and that's really helpful. Second, she often ends up apologizing for giving me too much to work on/change--which I tend to take as a sign that she's not holding back (too much).

That said, her critiques don't bother me/our relationship in part because I wasn't really a writer before we got together. It probably helps that we share similar tastes in books, and we talk about books when we've both read something recently. Maybe it helps that she used to read college papers for me. It almost certainly helps that we've been together a long time and it would take a lot to cause any relationship trouble.

You don't say too much about your relationship, but there may come a time when you feel more comfortable with him reading your work. Or maybe you just need to hand him something and tell him to never, ever, mention any sort of feedback. :D
 

midazolam

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I gave my first novel to my significant other a few years after I'd written it, which was the first time I ever worked up the courage to share anything with anyone.

He never finished it! I was pretty devastated and never showed my novels (I've written a number of them) to family/friends ever again. Well, with one exception - three years later, I gave my most recent novel to my sister, and she also failed to finish it. I don't know if they were just bored or what.

So, yeah, definitely learned my lesson twice over.
 

GingerGunlock

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My fiancé doesn't read what I write. I imagine if I had one published he would, but he hasn't read anything I wrote that was not game-related since college.

On the flip side, I also don't read what he writes (if he writes), though he is one of the main storytellers in our gaming group so I hear his stories that way :)
 

screenscope

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My wife reads my writing and I grind my teeth because she is brutally honest and - the thing I hate the most - nearly always right!

I also have a couple of professional novelist friends who perform the same service. It's absolutely invaluable. And painful :)
 

sheadakota

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Nope, my husband of twenty years has never read one word I've written. Not even the published stuff. But in all the time I've known him he has only ever read 3 books. He does listen when I read parts to him though
 

PandaMan

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I don't deliberately show Mrs. Panda my novel, but she does occasionally see parts of it scribbled on scraps of paper lying around or typed on the computer. She especially loves my poetry, but she's not a source I can go to for any critique. English isn't her first language, and, bless her heart, is incapable of helping me improve. The WIP is for my family so her opinion on what she likes or doesn't matters greatly to me, as does my kid's opinions.

I'm extremely fortunate she supports my writing but doesn't really understand the process or why it takes so long (or why I need it to be absolutely quiet and not be disturbed while writing:)). She thinks it should flow out of me all spotless and shinny too. Yeah, right!
 

Tazlima

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If it weren't for my husband, I might not be a writer at all.

Two years ago I had the idea for my WIP (which is now about 3/4 complete) as a "wouldn't it be neat if..." mental image. Unlike most of those moments, though, this one wouldn't go away. It kept bouncing around in my head over the course of two or three weeks. One day I mentioned it to my husband as an "Isn't this silly?" sort of thing and he told me it wasn't silly at all, and that I should write it into a book.

Now I'm not (or I wasn't) a writer, so his suggestion was out of left field, but I knew the moment he said it that he was right. If I hadn't spoken to him that day, the past two years of my life would have been very different.

Is he my "ideal reader?" Probably not. When it comes to actually critiquing my writing, he's far too nice. He is, however, my ideal sounding board. When I'm world-building or untangling a plot snarl, I love to talk to him about it. He's a good listener and he asks insightful, relevant questions. I'm a better writer and a better person because he's in my life.

Will your boyfriend be biased in your favor? Absolutely. Any boyfriend worth his salt is going to be supportive. Will he be a good/honest critic? That depends on both of you.

HIM:
Is he capable of being a good critic? Is he able to read your work, grasp what you're trying to do, and give feedback that will help you improve without hurting your feelings? I have no idea. I also don't know if he's good at math or if he plays banjo. It depends entirely on his skill set. His feedback may be amazing or totally useless. There's only one way to find out.

Is he supportive and showing an interest in your interests? Apparently so, since he has asked to read your work. He gets points for that.

You
Who else do you let read your work? A lot of people are secretive about their writing until they have a finished product and that's OK. Is it that you don't want him reading it, or that you don't want anyone reading it?

If you don't want anyone reading it, tell him so and make sure he knows it isn't personal.

If you'd kind of like for him to read it but you're concerned about worst case scenarios, you should tell him so. Tell him why you're hesitant and set expectations and ground rules beforehand. That way you'll both be on the same page. He'll know what's acceptable on his end, and you'll be prepared to hear what he has to say.

Either way, you should talk to him about it.
 
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Maggie Maxwell

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When I have something I think he'd like to read. He's my husband; I know his tastes, I know what I write, and I know those two things don't often meet in the middle. My sci-fi stuff, he's welcome to any day, but I know he's not likely to enjoy my YA stuff. Sometimes, he's just not my audience, and I'm not going to force him to try to be, even though I know he'd try for me if I asked.
 

Melanii

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It depends, I guess. My boyfriend doesn't actually have time to read. He works 8 hours, and often comes home late. He usually then plays video games (I join him sometimes, though!).

He was reading one I had wrote, but he had a part in its creation - so it's okay! He hasn't read the one I worked on alone and got stuck on, but I'm not that worried I guess.
 

Tepelus

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When I had a SO I couldn't get him to read anything I wrote. He hated to read. Unless it was about go-cart racing, or motor sports and the like.
 

jjdebenedictis

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My husband doesn't read fiction, and I not only write fiction, I only write fiction about impossible stuff. It is so far from being his cup of tea that it's more like a cup of aardvark to him.

He's supportive, but he doesn't want to read it.

And I also don't want him to read my work, because I think it would take an emotionally raw situation (getting criticism) and make it even more emotionally raw.

My big brother, on the other hand, is always enthused to read my stuff and usually has nicely ego-swelling stuff to say about it afterward. :)
 

Willow M Stevens

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I actually let my hubby read each chapter as I write it. But then, I'm the type of person who needs a sounding board to help me hear my own thoughts, if that makes sense.

He's not a writer and not a prolific reader by any means, especially not of fiction, and definitely not of my genre. Sometimes I actually have to pester him to finish what I've given him.

But, once he's read it, he's great about letting me rapid-fire questions about how such-and-such came across and what did he think about X part, etc. As he responds it allows me to get outside my head and see whether what I think I'm saying is really what's coming across.

Like I said, though, I'm an external processor. I need a sounding board or else everything in my head gets gummed up. Not everybody is. And not everybody has my type of hubby. So I guess it just depends on the situation.

Which is kinda the answer to most questions, isn't it? LOL
 

Putputt

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Yes. Mr. Putt is always one of the first people to know when I'm working on a new book. I always bounce ideas off him and whenever I get stuck, he's the first person I turn to whether it be for ideas or just to whine to. (When he's at work, I turn to my betas.)

He's very, very objective...to the point where I complain that he's even harsher on my stories than he is on other books or movies. His answer to that is: "Of course I am! I hold you to a higher standard." It's sweet, but sometimes the conversation would devolve to...

Him: "Hmm...ABC makes no sense. I think there's a plot hole there."
Me: "But a similar thing happened in Movie X and you were totally fine with it."
Him: "Yes but that shouldn't be an excuse not to fix it. I'm telling you, this is a plot hole."
Me: "Your FACE is a plot hole!"
Him: "That makes no sense!"
Me: "Your FACE makes no sense!"
Him: "YOUR face is the asscrack of a sweaty plumber!"

And so on and so forth. :D

But yes. He's the person who believes in my writing the most, and he's made countless sacrifices for it, in terms of finances and lifestyle.

I think it's all up to you whether you want to share this aspect of your life with your S.O. I was terrified the first time I showed Mr. Putt my writing, and he was as well. He later told me he was all, "Omg, what if I hate it!!" It's a risk. But I'd told myself if he hated it, that's okay, because it wasn't his type of book in the first place. Maybe you could look at it that way?
 

crunchyblanket

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I value Mr Crunchy's input because he's a casual reader - not a book enthusiast, or a writer. He reads purely for pleasure, and that's extremely useful to me in terms of finding out whether my book is enjoyable.

I have critique groups for the 'craft' side of things; Mr C and another friend are the people I go to when I want to know if what I'm writing is actually good to read.
 

V.J. Allison

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My husband isn't a reader other than history and astronomy books, so seeing him read anything fiction wise would probably make me faint!

Although he is supportive of my writing and likes updates on how many words I write up in a writing day, he has never asked to see any of it. I've told him he's welcome to read the stories after I'm done cleaning them up (I have two double length manuscripts under my belt and am working on a third - shorter - one right now), but he's unsure if he'll ever read them. I write romances and it's not his "thing" at all.

Besides, he's teasing me to death as it is, by saying all of the stuff in the love scenes was "researched live".... *facepalm* Some men, I tell you... (No offense to all of the males on here!)
 

Sheryl Nantus

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Hubby is my best beta and biggest supporter. Has been for decades since he first wrote me a fan letter based on my X-Files fanfiction.

;)

I thank him in every dedication. Without his support and his input I'd be a much worse writer and probably not published at all!

:)
 

Myrealana

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My husband isn't the best critic. He's not a writer himself, struggles with the written use of language, and reads very slowly compared to me, and he won't read a book unless it's finished

However, he is the first person I give a copy of the completed work to. He may not give the best "writer" feedback, but he appreciates being a part of the process, and he enjoys my writing. He's part of the target audience for my work, and it's good to see if he, as an average reader, stays interested and keeps up with the plot points.
 

Axl Prose

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Yes I do. She is the one that told me stop talking, dreaming and wishing and start writing. Our brains are on the same page with a lot of things so that helps. No issues about honest feedback, she has no problem ripping my stuff to pieces :D But I have gotten a "it's readable" and a "not complete garbage" out of her. Plus she is the only person that knows I'm trying to write, so it's fun talking about this or that when I get excited about an idea. I would say honesty is the main thing. The support is good, but it's the honesty I need.
 

footinmouth

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My husband doesn't read my work, even though I have asked him. He's not much of a reader, so I just leave it at that. He has promised to read my novel once it's finished. I do bounce some ideas off him though.