AW's Super-Dooper Newbie Pub Where Newbies Can Chat With Golden Oldies

*Walks in. Is immediately assaulted by sticky strands of cobwebs. Flails his arms to push the fibrous strands away, but succeeds only is getting more covered in sticky fibers.*

Pleh! Fuh! Blep!

*Scrapes at his face and body, pulling the cobwebs away and throwing them to the floor. Composes himself and looks around. The pub is quiet. Cold blue light streams in through the windows from the street lamps outside. The air is acrid; particles of dust float in the dim light and cover every visible surface.*

Hello...?

*Tries the light switch, but the lights don't come on. Fumbles through the darkened pub, behind the bar, and finds the breaker box. Flips the main breaker on, and the pub comes to life. Lights blink on, hidden fans hum and the air begins to circulate and freshen. The jukebox illuminates and warbles to life; Jo Stafford's sweet voice echoes through the pub, continuing her jazzy rendition of Old Devil Moon where she left off.*

What the heck happened here?

*Sees rotting pumpkins on the bar. Plastic skeletons and cobwebs hang everywhere. A prop of a flattened witch hangs on a wall. A fluffy multi-colored spider hangs from the ceiling. Balloons and discarded candy wrappers litter the floor.*

..They had a Halloween party and they didn't invite me?!?! And they didn't clean up afterward! Ugh, the nerve!

*Looks around at the mess.*

Well.............I'm not cleaning this up.

*Goes back to the breaker box and flips the main breaker back off. Jo Stafford groans to a stop again, and the lights blink off.*

*Grabs a Starbucks-To-Go bottle from the fridge, discarding the "Property of Tiddlywinks" post-it adhered to the side. Steps back out into the night, closing the door behind him.*

*pops head out of trapdoor*

I MISSED A KURANES SIGHTING????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

*Steps in from the street, shakes beads of water off his umbrella and closes it. Closes the door and takes his coat off.*

Whew! Wet out there today...

*Pauses as an echo sounds around the tavern.*

tiddlywinks said:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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Yikes. Hope whatever Tiddlywinks broke wasn't expensive.

*Pours himself a coffee and sits at his gold-plated table. Opens up his newspaper and disappears behind it.*

*Swings door open, clops into the pub in an old-school diver's suit, complete with weighted boots and spherical metallic helmet. Drips water all over the floor.*

Mmm-fhhhrffmm mhhrffff....

*Lifts the helmet up with a strained grunt and drops it. The helmet hits the ground with a bell-like klong.*

Man, it's hard to breathe with that thing on.

*Pours himself a coffee and grabs a pastry, carefully checking for traps.*

*Sits at his favorite gold-plated table and opens a newspaper. Checks his watch.*

I've got some time until high tide.

*Reads his newspaper and sips coffee.*

*tries to open trapdoor*
*clanks on something*

ALL RIGHT. WHO MOVED THEIR TABLE OVER MY GRAND ENTRANCE AGAIN?

Grumble grumble grumble.

*sends forth paper airplane with lots of sparkles to land on Kuranes' gold-plated table that she still keeps very very shineyyyy*

*wanders into pub
*fixes self Baileys and coffee (No one at work will know as long as there's enough coffee in it)
*moves table off trap door
*wonders how long it's been since someone cleaned the place and took inventory
*decides coffee is more important at the moment than cleaning

Hello? Thought I'd pop in for a drink and some conversation. Seems a little empty in here.

I'll take a rum and coke if anyone's around ...

The pub has been a bit slow lately, but we get around to greeting you eventually.

One rum and coke coming up!
*mixes the drink and makes sure it will magically stay cold for when shanthini drops by again

That's the problem with all these young whipper-snappers here. They don't realize how long it takes to get the walker from the table to the bar and back. *rassenfrassen sassenfratz*

*waves to all the newbies and shifts Kuranes's table a scootch to the right so the scythe trap doesn't cut it in half the next time the trap door is opened.*

*Waves to Richard*
*Takes drink and nods in appreciation to pkbax*
*Retreats to a shadowy table in the corner to see if any others show up*

*Opens the door and walks in as cold wintry air swirls around him and blasts into the pub. Closes the door and shakes the clumps of wet snow off his coat.*

BRRR-RRR-RRR! Holy smokes it's frigid out there!

*Hangs up coat near the heater. Pours an extra-hot cup of coffee and walks to his gold-plated table. Stops and looks at the floor.*

Either someone's been touching my table...or it became sentient again.

*Checks news reports for reports of a gold-plated table attacking people with a flamethrower.*

Nope, just moved. That's a relief.

*Sits at table. Sees a sparkly paper airplane resting on top of it. Gingerly lifts the plane and unfolds it.*

• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 1/2 cups 310 g all-purpose flour
• 1 cup 227g unsalted butter, melted
• 1 1/2 cups 297g granulated sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon 15 ml vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 cups 296 ml buttermilk

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Why did she give me a cake recipe?

Maybe she didn't want you to be half-baked? *grin*

*waves back to Shanthini*

Kuranes said:

*Sits at table. Sees a sparkly paper airplane resting on top of it. Gingerly lifts the plane and unfolds it.*



Why did she give me a cake recipe?

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It's not one of her plot bunnies. Don't question it too much.

Richard White said:

Maybe she didn't want you to be half-baked? *grin*

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Or this.

*puts a fresh drink on Shanthini's table
*sets out tray of Christmas cookies
*also sets out tray of fruit and veggies in case anyone is trying to eat healthy
*makes a very large peppermint mocha and finds favorite table by the fireplace

*heaves open trapdoor in cloud of excited glitter*

First week on the new job and I'm still alive! Woohoo! Drinks on me!!!!!!!

Kuranes said:

Why did she give me a cake recipe?

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*sees Kuranes' puzzled look*
*reads ingredient list on the note*

That's, um, not a cake recipe. It's a recipe for, uh...*gets funny look* nevermind, it's a cake recipe. Yup. Totally a cake recipe.

*hides recipes for "mayhem" and "disaster" under sparkly cloak*

pkbax said:

It's not one of her plot bunnies. Don't question it too much.

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I will point out that I have to feed my plot bunnies SOMETHING.

*gets all shifty-eyed*
*slowly climbs back down to her sparkly abode below*
*a stream of plot bunnies stream into the pub amidst faint cackles - all bunnies wear signs saying 'Property of Mr. White. Please make sure he gets AAAAALLLLLLL of them, promptly'*

*sets our signs "Mr. White that way"
*hides from plot bunnies in opposite direction of arrow on the above sign (just in case they get any ideas about stopping before they reach their new owner)

Did I read that there are monsters under my bed? I'm afraid of my bed.....did you really have to tell me there are monsters?

Oh, and I want coffee. Hazelnut. That's what I get around Christmas time. Because it's special, Christmas that is. And so is Hazelnut coffee. I talk a lot. Sorry, this isn't a writing question. Just me talking. I do that. A lot. It's ok to tell me to be quiet.

<--- is busy building a Plot Bunnies Hot Wheels[sup](TM)[/sup] track to herd all of them back down into Wink's lair via the super-secret plot bunny chute installed while she was out trapsing through the mountains earlier this year.

If i may suggest, in my experience, plot bunnies are rather partial to carrot cake...

Hey everyone,

may I order a drink - something easy like Absinth for the start.
I will pay with this here home made chocolate-baileys cake that has no surprise orange juice filling - I swear by the bones of the last mouse my cat slayed.

And what is this about monster bunnies plotting under my bed?

Perches on bar stool, swiveling back and forth slightly as that is a Good Stim. I have procured cinnamon-butterscotch cookies and would like something nonalcoholic and excessively sweet.

Froeschli said:

If i may suggest, in my experience, plot bunnies are rather partial to carrot cake...

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Hmmm . . .

*Procures bottle of Eau de Carrot Cake and leaves it under the tree for Winks.*

*Peeks my head in* Hi, I'll have a drink please :3 Just something simple like Angry Orchard or Blue Moon would be fine. *Heads straight to the pool table (if unoccupied) and begins racking a new game, making intricately sure to set them in numerical order yet alternating stripes/solids*

*I pour myself an absinth and a hot cocoa. Then I go on to making a coffee with hazelnut syrup for OhNon - on the saucer is a hazelnut covered in caramel because it is the season. After that I serves PrairieDawn a hot pear juice with cinnamon and whipped cream on top.*
Sweet and non alcoholic as order - I do hope it is to your liking.
*after plucking on of the butterscotch cookies and shoving it in my mouth I mumble - desperately trying not to spew cookie crumbles everywhere*
These are definitely to my liking
*I go to the pool table and look at what Mew is doing while sipping my absinth*
I never got how the balls are set up for a pool game - pretty sure I wont remember how to do it properly the next time I will play a game - anyway here is your drink - one angry moon.
*I hand a beer bottle with a hand printed label saying angry moon to Mew*
It is a danish home brew my supervisor made. It is dark, strong, awesome and totally what you ordered.

Oh Non said:

Oh, and I want coffee. Hazelnut. That's what I get around Christmas time. Because it's special, Christmas that is. And so is Hazelnut coffee. I talk a lot. Sorry, this isn't a writing question. Just me talking. I do that. A lot. It's ok to tell me to be quiet.

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Nope. Won't tell you to be quiet. Talk is what the pub is for.

Richard White said:

<--- is busy building a Plot Bunnies Hot Wheels[sup](TM)[/sup] track to herd all of them back down into Wink's lair via the super-secret plot bunny chute installed while she was out trapsing through the mountains earlier this year.

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Good luck. I swear her plot bunnies are a . . .uhm. . .special breed.

gtempel said:

Hey everyone,

may I order a drink - something easy like Absinth for the start.
I will pay with this here home made chocolate-baileys cake that has no surprise orange juice filling - I swear by the bones of the last mouse my cat slayed.

And what is this about monster bunnies plotting under my bed?

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Oh yum. That cake sounds delish.

Not all plot bunnies are monsters, but Winks let some of hers loose. I'd watch out for them! (And whatever you do, don't feed them after midnight.)

PrairieDawn said:

Perches on bar stool, swiveling back and forth slightly as that is a Good Stim. I have procured cinnamon-butterscotch cookies and would like something nonalcoholic and excessively sweet.

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*samples a cookie
Yum

favoritemew said:

*Peeks my head in* Hi, I'll have a drink please :3 Just something simple like Angry Orchard or Blue Moon would be fine. *Heads straight to the pool table (if unoccupied) and begins racking a new game, making intricately sure to set them in numerical order yet alternating stripes/solids*

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Hmm. . . numerical order even? Oooookay.

gtempel said:

*I pour myself an absinth and a hot cocoa. Then I go on to making a coffee with hazelnut syrup for OhNon - on the saucer is a hazelnut covered in caramel because it is the season. After that I serves PrairieDawn a hot pear juice with cinnamon and whipped cream on top.*
Sweet and non alcoholic as order - I do hope it is to your liking.
*after plucking on of the butterscotch cookies and shoving it in my mouth I mumble - desperately trying not to spew cookie crumbles everywhere*
These are definitely to my liking
*I go to the pool table and look at what Mew is doing while sipping my absinth*
I never got how the balls are set up for a pool game - pretty sure I wont remember how to do it properly the next time I will play a game - anyway here is your drink - one angry moon.
*I hand a beer bottle with a hand printed label saying angry moon to Mew*
It is a danish home brew my supervisor made. It is dark, strong, awesome and totally what you ordered.

Click to expand...

Now that's how to make yourself at home in the pub! We used to have a regular bartender, but I haven't seen the samurai warrior in a while.

Welcome to all the newbies! Be careful of the trapdoor. You really don't want to disturb Wink's glitter piles. (Really. You don't.) And also beware of the sub, sub basement. There are lots of tunnels and pathways and it's easy to get lost if you don't know where you're going. And make yourselves to home like gtemple did. Never want anyone to go without a drink - alcoholic or otherwise.