I'm looking for a beta reader(s) on my Young Adult Fantasy novel, The World of the Unknown. It's 61k words, completed but in need of revisions.
Here's the query so far, in case anyone wants to know the plot/premise of the novel:
When Jennifer Mistral levitated her supervisor, she thought that was the end of it. She’d never get in. Rylee Alaska’s mishap with the shower smothered her chances, and her cousin’s, too. Luna, Honor, and Violet didn’t even have a Division to call their own, and there’s no way Ruby was getting in without Honor. Seven girls, all doomed for failure.
Somehow, they got what they wanted: positions in the Elite, positions the entire galaxy was craving. They’re the best of the best, warriors to be feared. They have every opportunity to avenge the people the Blood Division ripped from their lives. Shouldn’t that be enough?
It would be, but they also happen to be each other’s worst enemies. They’ve been told so since birth. But they have to work together, the universe depends on it. It’s beginning to seem impossible, and their training is so exhausting…
All they want is a break, a hint of adventure, and perhaps a taste of a normal life. Honor doesn’t want to be captured and shoved into a dark cell. Ruby doesn’t want to miss her dead maybe-almost-boyfriend. Luna doesn’t want to send her friends into danger. And Rylee certainly doesn't want to get a bit too close to the boy she’s supposed to hate. He did try to turn her brother into a walking corpse, after all.
Oops?
I'm hoping to get a critique of my strong points and what I need to work on. Also, if anything doesn't make sense, I'd like to know. I often don't notice dropped subplots in my own writing, so help would be really useful. I have no deadlines, so take your time beta-ing.
It's my first finished novel. It sucks. Be as harsh as you can. Tell me if and why it's bad, so I can make it better. Otherwise it will suck forever and never stop sucking. Oh, the horror!
I'd be willing to swap, if you have a novel/short story/novella etc that needs a beta reader. I'm more experienced with critiquing and writing novels, but I'll do my best with anything.
If you're interested, I can send you the first few chapters to get a feel for my work and see if we're a good fit. I use scrivener, but I can easily export it to a Pages or Microsoft Word document if you don't have Scrivener.
Warning: there is some violence and very mild language.
Lydia
Here's the query so far, in case anyone wants to know the plot/premise of the novel:
When Jennifer Mistral levitated her supervisor, she thought that was the end of it. She’d never get in. Rylee Alaska’s mishap with the shower smothered her chances, and her cousin’s, too. Luna, Honor, and Violet didn’t even have a Division to call their own, and there’s no way Ruby was getting in without Honor. Seven girls, all doomed for failure.
Somehow, they got what they wanted: positions in the Elite, positions the entire galaxy was craving. They’re the best of the best, warriors to be feared. They have every opportunity to avenge the people the Blood Division ripped from their lives. Shouldn’t that be enough?
It would be, but they also happen to be each other’s worst enemies. They’ve been told so since birth. But they have to work together, the universe depends on it. It’s beginning to seem impossible, and their training is so exhausting…
All they want is a break, a hint of adventure, and perhaps a taste of a normal life. Honor doesn’t want to be captured and shoved into a dark cell. Ruby doesn’t want to miss her dead maybe-almost-boyfriend. Luna doesn’t want to send her friends into danger. And Rylee certainly doesn't want to get a bit too close to the boy she’s supposed to hate. He did try to turn her brother into a walking corpse, after all.
Oops?
I'm hoping to get a critique of my strong points and what I need to work on. Also, if anything doesn't make sense, I'd like to know. I often don't notice dropped subplots in my own writing, so help would be really useful. I have no deadlines, so take your time beta-ing.
It's my first finished novel. It sucks. Be as harsh as you can. Tell me if and why it's bad, so I can make it better. Otherwise it will suck forever and never stop sucking. Oh, the horror!
I'd be willing to swap, if you have a novel/short story/novella etc that needs a beta reader. I'm more experienced with critiquing and writing novels, but I'll do my best with anything.
If you're interested, I can send you the first few chapters to get a feel for my work and see if we're a good fit. I use scrivener, but I can easily export it to a Pages or Microsoft Word document if you don't have Scrivener.
Warning: there is some violence and very mild language.
Lydia