The Weekend Progress Report

CARY

Go, girl! Get that horror story rewritten, let it sit a few days, then reread it. If you still love it, send it out. You can do it!

And then, once you've mailed it, start writing the next one. It helps with the waiting. I find that the more I have out at one time, the less I focus on "when is that response gonna get here!".

Keep us posted.

Barb

Re: LIAM

Wow, submitting the first of March? Great news! Hope your revision proceeds as planned.

Keep us posted on your efforts!

:clover
Barb

Re: writing goals (whining)

Lisa, I'm not a parent, so on one hand, I don't really feel qualified to to comment on your situation. On the other, I'm a single adult who has had to do it all: the writing gig, the housework, the errands, an outside job, and stuff around the yard (though fortunately I do have a landlord that does the mowing). On top of that, when my father died, I was my mother's primary form of entertainment and emotional support for over three years (then she got a man-friend -- made my life much easier).

I finally realized, I couldn't do it all and I had to prioritize. I realized I could do up to three things well. I chose what they were and that is where I concentrated most of my energy. As for the rest, well, if the dishes aren't done every day and if the toilet bowl isn't always sparkling clean, well then the dishes aren't done every day and the toilet bowl isn't always sparkling clean. I even let my landlord mow over my fledgling flower gardens that took so much of my labor to put in because I decided I did not have the time to maintain them.

Re: writing goals (whining)

Hi Lisa

Sorry to hear the little one is under the weather. I've been there-done that also..It can be rough raising a babe even when she is well.

Barb and Lori gave you good advice. Prioritize and Flexibility...I'd like to add one thing: Ingenuity. It seems I've had a tablet of paper and pencil on every flat surface in my house since my daughter was born (12 years ago) if I had an idea/character/thought/whatever I'd stop doing dishes/laundry/whatever long enough to get it down. It's all practice, whether it's coherent, or not.(I'm sure this is why I mostly stick to writing pieces I can complete in under 3,000 words)

Silly phrases that kept me going: My Mom's favorite: "And this too, shall pass." her next favorite: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

One last thought: The words you have written so far will wait patiently for you until you get back. No matter when that is.

Jen

ACK!

Okay, I'm becoming a juggler.

Why is it everytime I set clear goals and try to clean off my desk to achieve said goals, unexpected work comes in?

(mutters darkly) I'm not complaining... I'm not complaining...

I've just received the opportunity to do some work for another national glossy. (Not humor though). So on the one hand, I'm bouncing up and down because a new magazine called me and wants me to work. On the other, I'm grumbling because I want to get :teeth Monster Novel:teeth done.

A note from Barb's Muse: I swear, there's just no pleasing SOME people.

Ack,
Barb:ack

Re: ACK!

Dear Up and Down Jumper Person,

I enviest thou! As someone starting new writing endeavors after being a technical writer and manager of technical writers for a long time (and getting paid well for it) and now starting over from scratch trying to write and wondering if I'm ever going to get there where you are seems like heaven, or, at least advanced purgatory. I don't even care that I wrote a run on sentence. I'm not going to edit it.

Also, remember your advice to me...

Is there anything you are doing other than writing that you can delegate so you can keep up with your workload?

Lisa

Re: ACK!

Oh yeah, Barb, one more thing.

Can I rent your muse for a week or so?

Lisa

Note from Barb's Muse to Lisa

Rent?? How much beer and naked women ya got?:smokin

(Barb yells from other room: Get away from that computer and put down that picket sign before you break the lamp! No! don't hit "add reply". I repeat, DO. NOT. HIT. ADD-- GACK!)

Re: Note from Barb's Muse to Lisa

LOL...you two crack me up. :lol

Re: Note from Barb's Muse to Lisa

*With a sinister accent*
"Nekkid women? How much for yer nekkid women?"

(Sorry, visions of John Belushi pooped into my head when I read the "beer and naked women" reference. I can't be held responsible when Belushi visits me.)

Re: Note from Barb's Muse to Lisa

Jen-How do you know your cat is possessed by Sam Kinneson???(just curious...)
Liam-I for one,would love to read something about your fam!! The'Cold Blooded He-Man Huntin Club',sounds right up my alley!!! I find 'family humor',to be some of the best!!
Lisa-Keep the candle burnin,babe!! Take at least an hour a day,just for you..not even just to write,to do....anything.The man can manage for an hour!! If not,my favorite word,'Babysiter',nuthin wrong with a good sitter!!! In fact Ive considered a few,my personal saviours...really!!! If the sitter thing doesnt settle well,theres grandparents,clueless relatives,friends,especially childless friends.They think kids are great,because they only have them a short while,and can share with them all their volumous and patient knowledge!!:lol Much more than we as mere parents could possibly provide....Ha!!!
Love an suckermarks, Carybelle

Re: Note from Barb's Muse to Lisa

A cat possessed by Kennison...now that'd be a hoot!

Liam

pooped into my head

Click to expand...

Suddenly the image of beer and naked women left me.

Re: Liam

Unfortunately, that wasn't a typo. We are, after all, speaking of Belushi.

nekkid John Belushi pooping...

Okay, one word: Ick!
:rollin :rollin :rollin

I gotta get back to work and try to erase that image from my mind...

(Cracks whip) Okay, everybody, get busy! The weekend is coming!

BaRb
:ack

Kennison & The Cat

Cat runs sideways down the hall, fur bristled like he's been electrocuted, and does this RRr-OWW, R-o-w, thing (envision Kennison playing the teacher in "Back to School" - High-pitched, gravel OH! OH! OH!) for no apparent reason.

I yell to him, "Are you on DRUGS?"

He also stalks and steals my pencils.
Maybe he's not on drugs, maybe he's got lead poisoning

BTW Liam, your pic looks like Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you prob. don't IRL but hey, I have bad eyes and a good imagination 8o

Jen-suffr'n with the flu

Re: "Kennison Cat"

Jen-Yah...He obviously has something....What do you do to that cat???? Ignoring him in lieu of writing maybe?...He takes It out on your pencils!!! Thats too funny!!! :lol Carybelle

Re: "Kennison Cat"

I don't ignore him. Every once in a while when he's being an idiot, I whack him with a rolled-up Writer's Digest. :eek (That's attention, right?)


Approx 1500 more words to go on Chapter 3! Woo HOO! I'm feelin' perky today :grin

Jen

Been Working Barb!

Barb,

Today's a holiday, and I am excused from my counseling duties.

Yep, it's Abe's birthday. Will honor him by requoting one of his sayings.

"Whenever I met a man who didn't have any vices, he generally didn't have any virtues either. "

Abraham Lincoln

Just wanted to report in to say that I have written 3 hours today. Although I will be going out of town this weekend to help my daughter move, I will report back in with the humor hounds. I'll still owe you that 30 minutes, Barb.

Annie:hat

I've been working, too. Well, sorta.

I was in a different state (No, not the State of Confusion -- okay, maybe I was there, too) all week. In the rush of arrival at the hotel and dinner and getting to know the group I was with before we had to present a unified front the next morning and trying to get online to check my e-mail using the hotel's high speed connection, I lost Monday. But, I more than made it up on Tuesday. But then I lost Wednesday to a jazz club and a martini bar and McDonald-themed jokes. I may have made Wednesday up today during the flight home, but I haven't typed in everything I wrote (it was a small plane and too much of a hassle to dig the laptop out from under the seat so I used pen & paper).

I will check in on Saturday afternoon and give the final verdict.

Been there

Lisa,

Don't really have any advice, but as a mother of 4, I can relate to what you are going through. Have read the posts from Barb and the gang, and think that they have given you some good pointers.

Enjoy your little girl. The years will pass quickly. Remember take it one day at a time and celebrate those 15 to 30 minutes of writing.
Hang in there, Sugar Muffin.

Annie:hat

lori

But then I lost Wednesday to a jazz club and a martini bar and McDonald-themed jokes.

Click to expand...

Classic!

You really got to hunker down and write that humor piece you have been talking about!

Friday, FEB 13th (with a capital 13)

okay,
I'm checking in to say I've had a setback.
In honor of the day, I got up this morning and partially sliced off the knuckle on the middle finger of my right hand. One nicked tendon and four stitches later, I'm wrestling the keyboard to type this. (lots of deleting going on here... the process is slow)

Fortunately no surgery, the tendon should heal on it's own, but the splint is a monster (I can't find a way to hold a pencil...yet, but I'm working on it) and darn it, the blasted thing hurts... (I, know, I know. If it felt good, everybody would want one.)

The good news is I can flip people off and pretend it's an accident. The bad news is, it is distracting me from what I'm supposed to be doing. ick. Plus I got that assignment for the new (to me) magazine and I'm supposed to scout and take pictures of a local establishment. Still trying to figure out how to accomplish that. :ack

Spent the past week doing a rewrite of most of what I wrote last weekend. Don't know how much wordage I gained because I also cut bunches. I'm going to spend the weekend trying to tie the two stories in the :teeth monster:teeth novel together. Quite a challenge. I was going to scribble scenes on index cards, and now it looks like I will really be scribbling :cry .

Enough pity party! Bah! Okay, guys, how goes it with you? Tell me your major accomplishments and boost my spirits!
I'll be checking back during the weekend to see what's going on. Humor Hounds Sound Off!!

Annie: Good to hear that you grabbed a big chunk of time during the holiday. You go girl!

Lori: Missy, you can just march yourself right back to that martini bar and find that lost Wednesday, do you hear? Do you think those things grow on trees?

Jen: Did you finish up chapter 3? Hope your flu is better.

Oh, and I'm now officially on hiatus, so come Monday, I'm gonna be plugging for that 2,000 words a day even if I have to type with my nose!

Re: Friday, FEB 13th (with a capital 13)

Ugh! Sounds rough.

Maybe use your digital recorder and then type it up when your hand improves?

I could lend you Mattie, though, my latest muse. She's unbelievable. She takes dictation if you ply her with chocolate cake and milk. Warning though: sometimes she gets completely hammered on these Bailey's and vodka concoctions that she makes, but you just get a bunch of typos - no biggie.

Re: lori

You really got to hunker down and write that humor piece you have been talking about!

Click to expand...

I did submit the airline security piece to The Funny Times. As of yet, I have not heard from them. Now you have me thinking of this past Wednesday along the same lines. Hmmm. . . I'll work something out of it.

Missy, you can just march yourself right back to that martini bar and find that lost Wednesday, do you hear? Do you think those things grow on trees?

Click to expand...

:rollin Oh, Barb. I do not think it is a good idea to return to the martini bar -- even if the bartender was kinda cute and good at flirting. Or maybe especially because he was kinda cute and good at flirting. They can just have my Wednesday. But, I'll be careful not to let it happen again.