- Joined
- Apr 18, 2011
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- 1,366
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- Location
- Indiana
- Website
- kimnflowers.blogspot.com
While driving down the street around my neighborhood last night looking for my dog I passed a group of teenagers, just sort of gave them a nod and drove on, heard one say "She lost." Then a girl yelled "Get on out of here!" as I turned a corner. But none of the others joined in.
I feel like I should have announced that I was looking for my dog, so as not to be thought of as someone lost I guess. But it's not like I had my windows rolled up and doors locked, I was hanging out the window squinting cuz my contacts were already out when my silly dog ran out the door because I was trying to put a bug outside. It was past midnight, so I didn't want to drive down the street yelling "YOSHI!" haha. It way too dark out to see anyone in the group clearly, but I live in a diverse area . . . diverse enough that some white people who asked where I live (since I just moved there a few months ago) are shocked that I live there, but I have no problems and prefer diversity over an "all white" neighborhood any way. I was driving down a street which apparently has some sort of reputation according to this white co-worker, but I don't tend to worry about those things because from birth to age 5 I lived on the corner of the worst such reputed road in the same town, so I never knew what the big deal was. (I spent the rest of my childhood in a 99.9% white town but have lived in my current town off and on for most of my adult life.)
That teenager might have just wanted to yell at any random person no matter what, and I don't even know her race, but just hearing the other white people's opinions and questions when they heard about my general area might have made me question why the one yelled. Maybe it's just a case of other people's wrong opinions crowding my brain. I have been asked "isn't that a 'dark' area?" and "Do you hear gunshots at night?" and all kinds of crazy crap. (Answers: the area seems to be about equally racially mixed, and no gunshots. And please get into this century.) I think maybe what is bothering me most is that I hear these things from others. I might not have even had any of these thoughts about the situation if I hadn't heard these things recently (we have been thinking of moving to a house on that same street, but might not be able to get out our lease yet. So I was discussing this when I heard some opinions on the rep of the street, which is only 2 blocks from where I live right now.)
I also feel like in my experience, my introverted nature has to be overcome at times so I don't get assumed to be someone who I am not. In the case of last night, at least one person seemed to think I was someone who took a wrong turn in her Mom Van and was out of place. It is sad to get put in any kind of stereotypical role, even dumb white girl or scared white girl, or whatever. But the sadder part is that I have seen enough white people talk shit when there are "no other PoC around" that I don't feel it's unusual for PoC to wonder if someone non-white is going to be a nice person or not upon first meeting them until you get some kind of cue.
I don't even know if I have a question. But our country just needs something to happen because there is still so much healing that needs to take place... but sometimes nothing seems to be happening to really help it, except each new younger generation is better than the one before about it.
But you see, some people say "race shouldn't be an issue" (I heard so much about this on the Trayvon case) but the thing is, sometimes like last night, you don't know if it was or not, it could be, you don't know how to make things right but sometimes it would just take one extra word or effort I guess.
I feel like I should have announced that I was looking for my dog, so as not to be thought of as someone lost I guess. But it's not like I had my windows rolled up and doors locked, I was hanging out the window squinting cuz my contacts were already out when my silly dog ran out the door because I was trying to put a bug outside. It was past midnight, so I didn't want to drive down the street yelling "YOSHI!" haha. It way too dark out to see anyone in the group clearly, but I live in a diverse area . . . diverse enough that some white people who asked where I live (since I just moved there a few months ago) are shocked that I live there, but I have no problems and prefer diversity over an "all white" neighborhood any way. I was driving down a street which apparently has some sort of reputation according to this white co-worker, but I don't tend to worry about those things because from birth to age 5 I lived on the corner of the worst such reputed road in the same town, so I never knew what the big deal was. (I spent the rest of my childhood in a 99.9% white town but have lived in my current town off and on for most of my adult life.)
That teenager might have just wanted to yell at any random person no matter what, and I don't even know her race, but just hearing the other white people's opinions and questions when they heard about my general area might have made me question why the one yelled. Maybe it's just a case of other people's wrong opinions crowding my brain. I have been asked "isn't that a 'dark' area?" and "Do you hear gunshots at night?" and all kinds of crazy crap. (Answers: the area seems to be about equally racially mixed, and no gunshots. And please get into this century.) I think maybe what is bothering me most is that I hear these things from others. I might not have even had any of these thoughts about the situation if I hadn't heard these things recently (we have been thinking of moving to a house on that same street, but might not be able to get out our lease yet. So I was discussing this when I heard some opinions on the rep of the street, which is only 2 blocks from where I live right now.)
I also feel like in my experience, my introverted nature has to be overcome at times so I don't get assumed to be someone who I am not. In the case of last night, at least one person seemed to think I was someone who took a wrong turn in her Mom Van and was out of place. It is sad to get put in any kind of stereotypical role, even dumb white girl or scared white girl, or whatever. But the sadder part is that I have seen enough white people talk shit when there are "no other PoC around" that I don't feel it's unusual for PoC to wonder if someone non-white is going to be a nice person or not upon first meeting them until you get some kind of cue.
I don't even know if I have a question. But our country just needs something to happen because there is still so much healing that needs to take place... but sometimes nothing seems to be happening to really help it, except each new younger generation is better than the one before about it.
But you see, some people say "race shouldn't be an issue" (I heard so much about this on the Trayvon case) but the thing is, sometimes like last night, you don't know if it was or not, it could be, you don't know how to make things right but sometimes it would just take one extra word or effort I guess.
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