Old Fart's and Pouffes Bar, Grill, and Hogewey Infirmary
- Thread starter Haggis
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2011
- Messages
- 11,766
- Reaction score
- 12,242
- Location
- Atherton Tablelands
- Website
- snailseyeview.medium.com
OMG! There's a whole bunch of newbies in here!!! Who let you lot in?
Andreea. You can park your walker... wait.... you look familiar. I know you from somewhere. (And huge congrats on the new hubby and baby!)
Andrew! Park your zimmer over here. Lavern will be around shortly to monogram your bedpan.
Maccardy. And Helix. Some sharp Aussie humour is just what we need around here. But don't eat the jello 
Andreea. You can park your walker... wait.... you look familiar. I know you from somewhere. (And huge congrats on the new hubby and baby!)Andrew! Park your zimmer over here. Lavern will be around shortly to monogram your bedpan.Maccardy. And Helix. Some sharp Aussie humour is just what we need around here. But don't eat the jello
OMG! There's a whole bunch of newbies in here!!! Who let you lot in?
I've been in here before - you've just forgotten. The doc will give you something for that along with the prunes.
You've got that wistful deja vu thing again. It's okay, it will wear off.
We're all activists here.
Eat a prune - start a movement!
*takes a gulp of Michael's bourbon*
*gasps for breath*
Change that makes sense never bothered me - most of the recent changes i've seen have been bonkers.
Avast ,ye landlubbers! It's talk like a pirate day! How about a pirate tale:
Aye aye said the pirate
with eyes of stone
I'll cut yer flesh
right off the bone
and then ye sail the seven seas
workin' the "Dutchman" on yer knees
'till you find the gates of hell
then ye know you've served me well
ghost forever you'll remain
sailin' down the Spanish Main.
Take that, ye scurvy dogs!
Aye aye said the pirate
with eyes of stone
I'll cut yer flesh
right off the bone
and then ye sail the seven seas
workin' the "Dutchman" on yer knees
'till you find the gates of hell
then ye know you've served me well
ghost forever you'll remain
sailin' down the Spanish Main.
Take that, ye scurvy dogs!
Yarrgh! It's keelhauled you oughta be, me hearty! Writin' such clever pomes, an all. Keelhauled!
And just for the record, any cats found sucking limes (our margarita stash) will be doin' a short walk on the plank!
Yarrgh!
A gal with a shipboard cannon would fire it,So she embarked on a life as a pirate.
Her left eye she did dump,
While on one leg she'd stump.
Arrgh, her cosplay you had to admire it.
When I roll me arrs it comes out like an "Arrrrrrrh"
An' me shipmates all cower in fear.
Cos all lubbers wot strays
From the ways wot I says
Know the only way out is the plank. "Ho Harr!"
An' me shipmates all cower in fear.
Cos all lubbers wot strays
From the ways wot I says
Know the only way out is the plank. "Ho Harr!"
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When I read poems by all these old farts
And a few by sexy old tarts,
I know we're alright,
'Cause we're all pretty bright.
Yeah. We're more than the sum of our parts!
My annual reminder based on my eidetic recall of poetic lines--tomorrow begins October, 'cause . . .
Thirty days hath September.
All the rest I can't remember.
Thirty days hath September.
All the rest I can't remember.
Texas Drought
September
Slides into October’s second base
With spikes on grass burrs akimbo
Raising caliche dust
Over brown grass and
Disappearing in drouth cracks
Before the outfielder
Can scoop up the ball.
Even the barrell cactus
Is wilting
As the temp stays in the nineties
As solid as a home run
Over the center field fence.
Hoping for a Gatorade shower.
September
Slides into October’s second base
With spikes on grass burrs akimbo
Raising caliche dust
Over brown grass and
Disappearing in drouth cracks
Before the outfielder
Can scoop up the ball.
Even the barrell cactus
Is wilting
As the temp stays in the nineties
As solid as a home run
Over the center field fence.
Hoping for a Gatorade shower.