I hope the mods don't mind me adding this question in here since it's along the same lines as the thread itself.
I have submitted many a-query... probably 50 at this point and have not received any requests =[ sad day indeed. Note most folks consider about 10% to be a fair request rate.....so even at 50, you wouldn't expect much. I'm just pointing out the smallness of your sample size, because as you ponder these things it will remain something to consider.
Along with the query itself, most agencies ask for a synopsis and sample pages. So let's say it's not my query (which I'm betting that's probably my true problem), it (the query) is at least one of them. Someone posted in your QLH thread that it reads as a synopsis....I agree. I stayed out because a) I agree with what was posted and b) you said "be gentle"...there's nothing wrong with that, but I know the style that suits me and try to consider the needs of others when they state them--you wanted "nice" so I avoided yours until I know how thick that skin truly is, BUT you do need to go back and do the 3 questions exercise instead of trying to summarize your story.
and then let's say the plot is solid (cause I know mine's concrete), would agents look at writing style and dismiss books because of writing-style/newb-ish-ness? writing style can mean lots of things....they won't dismiss it because you write tightly, or use a lot of metaphors, or whatever--they will reject because you use painful metaphors, a distracting amount, you write so tightly the story is sterile, etc.....the only "newbie style" that will get you rejected is "not good enough," which isn't really a style at all. But yes, if you are making newbie mistakes that bring the work down below the bar an agent is seeking, those mistakes will certainly cost you. Nothing wrong with being new, but you still have to write well enough for the agent to take you--they take new folks every single day.
The m.s. itself has been proofread, edited, cut down to size, had an LBL, so I've done extensive personal editing. good, and a good start. Have you had a couple betas look? Subbed a chapter or two in SYW? There's only so much you can do on your own, especially when you're new....and getting fresh eyes on a project can be a soul-crushing or illuminating experience, depending upon your mindset. My early stuff got SAVAGED. Deservedly so. I decided to learn from that, instead of being bummed folks "didn't get my writing." I'm far better for it. But some DO take their ball and leave.....which is unfortunate.
However, would agents simply put it in the OUT pile for things like passive voice, tense, or TELL vs. SHOW errors or look past and see the potential of the novel?