Hi everyone! I haven't been around as frequently lately, but I'm trying to drop in a little more.
In general, things have been going okay. I've been struggling a bit with some anxiety and depression, and might try to seek some help for that, but at the moment I'm doing okay. I've been trying to find a good balance between giving myself permission to avoid needlessly stressful/toxic situations and not relying too much on avoiding conflict or stress altogether (because that's clearly not realistic or sustainable).
Writing has been going fairly well. I've found a good IRL writing group and have been pretty productive lately.
I've been thinking about my sexuality a lot. I'm fairly comfortable seeing myself as bisexual, but I've become more aware over the past few years that I'm just not that interested in men. I do feel like I genuinely find men attractive sometimes, but if, say, I get a message from a man on a dating site, I'm always disappointed that it's not a message from a woman, and these days, I can't really see myself with a man. I'm fine with this, but it does kind of complicate how I label myself. Of course, bisexuality is a pretty wide spectrum and there's nothing wrong with feeling the way I do. But it's starting to feel kind of weird calling myself bisexual when I have no real interest in dating or sleeping with men right now. (Of course, "bisexual" can just mean "attracted to two or more genders," and I am attracted to a lot of non-binary people as well as women, so it still works!)
Speaking of online dating, I'm a bit discouraged with it. I don't like Tinder because there just isn't enough info to make me interested in messaging people, but OKCupid recently made changes I don't care for. I don't like their new messaging system where you don't automatically get messages people send you, and I don't like the push to use your real name instead of a screen-name. I have a fairly distinctive name, so I'm not really comfortable with that.