Limericks Still Live!

The dew on the grass was twinkling,
But despite that, old Luke started sprinkling.
This month's water bill,
Made me want to kill

The dew on the grass was twinkling,
But despite that, old Luke started sprinkling.
This month's water bill,
Made me want to kill
But who? I don't have an inkling.


I drank, then knew I was shrinking

I drank, then knew I was shrinking,
'twas Alice's mushrooms, I'm thinking.

I drank, then knew I was shrinking,
'twas Alice's mushrooms, I'm thinking.
I was swamped in my clothes

I drank, then knew I was shrinking,
'twas Alice's mushrooms, I'm thinking.
I was swamped in my clothes
My buttons threw me blows

I drank, then knew I was shrinking,
'twas Alice's mushrooms, I'm thinking.
I was swamped in my clothes
My buttons threw me blows
Then I awoke, all wet and stinking.


The stranger rode tall on his donkey

The stranger rode tall on his donkey
Even though his ride was quite wonky

The stranger rode tall on his donkey
Even though his ride was quite wonky.
The people all stared

The stranger rode tall on his donkey
Even though his ride was quite wonky.
The people all stared
For his buttocks were bared

The stranger rode tall on his donkey
Even though his ride was quite wonky.
The people all stared
For his buttocks were bared.
He smiled and said, "I'm from Wisconky."

But that just made everyone snicker

But that just made everyone snicker
And say he could not hold his liquor.

But that just made everyone snicker
And say he could not hold his liquor.
When he paid his bar tab,

But that just made everyone snicker
And say he could not hold his liquor.
When he paid his bar tab,
Mumbling, "Call me a cab,"

But that just made everyone snicker
And say he could not hold his liquor.
When he paid his bar tab,
Mumbling, "Call me a cab,"
His donkey made off with old Flicka.


The two witches cackled and drank,

The two witches cackled and drank.
They quaffed so much their breath just stank

The two witches cackled and drank.
They quaffed so much their breath stank
But when one of the hags

The two witches cackled and drank.
They quaffed so much their breath stank
But when one of the hags
Chowed down on old rags

He turned down the lights for last call
And most customers left - but not all.

He turned down the lights for last call
And most customers left - but not all.
The Ginger Man stayed

He turned down the lights for last call
And most customers left - but not all.
The Ginger Man stayed
With a hidden blade

He turned down the lights for last call
And most customers left - but not all.
The Ginger Man stayed
With a hidden blade
And skewered himself to the wall.

The chicken the mouse and the cat

The chicken the mouse and the cat
All met to discuss the old rat