Limericks Still Live!

Sir_Nigel · May 22, 2019

He now not surprisingly pongs
For clean clothes he desperately longs
'til then he must whiff,
his trousers, so stiff
must be handled with extra long tongs.

‘I’m King of the North!’ he declared

Coddiwomple · May 22, 2019

‘I’m King of the North!’ he declared
(of zombies, he’s secretly scared)

oneblindmouse · May 22, 2019

‘I’m King of the North!’ he declared
(of zombies, he’s secretly scared)
'I'm fierce and I'm cruel

-Riv- · May 22, 2019

‘I’m King of the North!’ he declared
(of zombies, he’s secretly scared)
'I'm fierce and I'm cruel,
and I make kids eat gruel

oneblindmouse · May 22, 2019

‘I’m King of the North!’ he declared
(of zombies, he’s secretly scared)
'I'm fierce and I'm cruel,
and I make kids eat gruel
while I watch with my large white teeth bared.'

'I'm Queen of the South,' she replied

Marissa D · May 22, 2019

'I'm the Queen of the South,' she replied
'And we make our kids eat their gruel fried.'

oneblindmouse · May 22, 2019

'I'm the Queen of the South,' she replied
'And we make our kids eat their gruel fried.
Plus we dress them in sacks

Drachen Jager · May 22, 2019

'I'm the Queen of the South,' she replied
'And we make our kids eat their gruel fried.
Plus we dress them in sacks
and tell them "chillax"

-Riv- · May 22, 2019

'I'm the Queen of the South,' she replied
'And we make our kids eat their gruel fried.
Plus we dress them in sacks
and tell them "chillax"
when they whine that their puppies have died.

"In the North no dogs are allowed."

oneblindmouse · May 22, 2019

"In the North no dogs are allowed
If their legs are hairy and bowed

Coddiwomple · May 22, 2019

"In the North no dogs are allowed
If their legs are hairy and bowed."
That leaves out your mother

-Riv- · May 22, 2019

"In the North no dogs are allowed
If their legs are hairy and bowed.
That leaves out your mother
(who I tried hard to smother)

oneblindmouse · May 22, 2019

"In the North no dogs are allowed
If their legs are hairy and bowed.
That leaves out your mother
(whom I tried hard to smother)
but failed because I was so cowed.

She lives on, despite my attempts

Coddiwomple · May 22, 2019

She lives on, despite my attempts
that ignited a mild contretemps

Drachen Jager · May 22, 2019

She lives on, despite my attempts
that ignited a mild contretemps
I'd try it once more

oneblindmouse · May 23, 2019

She lives on, despite my attempts
that ignited a mild contretemps
I'd try it once more
If it wasn't a bore

Drachen Jager · May 23, 2019

She lives on, despite my attempts
that ignited a mild contretemps
I'd try it once more
If it wasn't a bore
And I'm feeling a little verklempt

-----------------------------------------------------------

In the end she died of natural causes

annetpfeffer · May 27, 2019

Though she died of a natural cause (sorry, had to fix the meter)
A little-known fact gives me pause

-Riv- · May 27, 2019

Though she died of a natural cause,
A little-known fact gives me pause.
She had in her hand

Sir_Nigel · May 28, 2019

Though she died of a natural cause,
A little-known fact gives me pause.
She had in her hand
a substance now banned

Coddiwomple · May 28, 2019

Though she died of a natural cause,
A little-known fact gives me pause.
She had in her hand
a substance now banned
and a wad of it clenched in her jaws

She chowed down on white-tiger jerky

Sir_Nigel · May 28, 2019

She chowed down on white-tiger jerky
She’d already eaten the turkey

Coddiwomple · May 28, 2019

She chowed down on white-tiger jerky
She’d already eaten the turkey
Still famished, she prowled

Moardragons · May 28, 2019

She chowed down on white-tiger jerky
She'd already eaten the turkey
Still famished, she prowled
To the butcher and growled

oneblindmouse · May 29, 2019

She chowed down on white-tiger jerky
She'd already eaten the turkey
Still famished, she prowled
To the butcher and growled
"Your shop is both empty and murky."

The butcher protested in vain

Limericks Still Live!

aka Dylan di Vilde

shipwrecked in antiquity

The new me

The much appreciated

The new me

Scribe of the girls in the basement

The new me

Professor of applied misanthropy

The much appreciated

The new me

shipwrecked in antiquity

The much appreciated

The new me

shipwrecked in antiquity

Professor of applied misanthropy

The new me

Professor of applied misanthropy

practical experience, FTW

The much appreciated

aka Dylan di Vilde

shipwrecked in antiquity

aka Dylan di Vilde

shipwrecked in antiquity

The new me