Limericks Still Live!

Yet there was a glimmer of hope
I'd not yet reached the end of my rope.
By using my wits,
and two oven mitts,
I got home - but still looked like a dope.

The string on my red balloon broke

The string on my red balloon broke.
Now it's stuck way up high in an oak.
I climbed out on a limb,

The string on my red balloon broke.
Now it's stuck way up high in an oak.
I climbed out on a limb,
Having trained at the gym

The string on my red balloon broke.
Now it's stuck way up high in an oak.
I climbed out on a limb,
Having trained at the gym
And fell down coz I'm an old soak.

The lips on the birdy turned blue

The lips on the birdy turned blue
(Birdies have lips? Wow, who knew?)

The lips on the birdy turned blue
(Birdies have lips? Wow, who knew?)
He struggled to tweet,

The lips on the birdy turned blue
(Birdies have lips? Wow, who knew?)
He struggled to tweet,
But his lips wouldn't meet

An owl took exception to that
And so did the sly Siamese cat.
But the gingham dog
Merely sipped his grog

An owl took exception to that
And so did the sly Siamese cat.
But the gingham dog
Merely sipped his grog
And watched the fat rat eat his hat.

It is time, said the mustard to me,

"It is time," said the mustard to me,
"To buy a new jar. I'm empty."

"It is time," said the mustard to me,
"To buy a new jar. I'm empty."
I went to the store,

"It is time," said the mustard to me,
"To buy a new jar. I'm empty."
I went to the store,
the sign on the door,

"It is time," said the mustard to me,
"To buy a new jar. I'm empty."
I went to the store,
the sign on the door,
Read, "The mustard is talking, so flee!"

The old man was stuck in the loo,

The old man was stuck in the loo,
So bored, with nothing to do

The old man was stuck in the loo,
So bored, with nothing to do
He sang a wee tune

The old man was stuck in the loo,
So bored, with nothing to do
He sang a wee tune
And sat there till June

The old man was stuck in the loo,
So bored, with nothing to do
He sang a wee tune
And sat there till June
Found the stuff to remove all the superglue.


The Bailiff commanded that everyone stand

The Bailiff made everyone stand
And they all obeyed his command.
Except for one lout

The Bailiff made everyone stand
And they all obeyed his command.
Except for one lout
Who claimed that his gout

The Bailiff made everyone stand
And they all obeyed his command.
Except for one lout
Who claimed that his gout
Made his feet unable to land.

The dew on the grass was twinkling,