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Beta for YA Steampunk

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kmary0622

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I'm looking for someone to give me feedback on my YA novel MOONCHILD. I am willing to swap, I have no problems giving feedback as well and helping others (that's how we all learn), but only if someone really is committed to helping me as well. I've already tried this with one other person and put a lot of time an energy into their work, typing up pages of notes, only to get nothing in return. If you're interested please let me know. Here are the first few paragraphs:

I pull out the small compact I keep in my pocket and open it, smiling at my reflection as I check my hair. I know it’s dumb; no one cares what I look like but me. But I can’t help it, I’m vain and I like to look nice. Even in this violent, messed-up world. I don’t mind kicking a few asses, hell I even enjoy it a little, as long as I get to look good doing it.

“What are you doing?” Dex asks, walking into the room behind me. “Getting ready for a night on the town?”

I give him the finger without even glancing his way, tucking an out-of-place hair back up into my ponytail before closing the compact. Once that’s done I immediately pull my goggles down to cover my eyes and tie a handkerchief around my nose and mouth, ruining the work I just did. I grab my favorite vest and put it on, filling the pockets with my small collection of knives and throwing stars, along with the tiny gun that I own. It’s small and only carries one bullet, but it’s come in handy on more than one occasion.

Now armed and covered to protect myself from the coal dust, I’m ready to go. I follow Dex down the crumbling halls of the current building we’re squatting in, heading out to the ruined city of Athens. I step cautiously once we reach the first floor, the rotten wood sinking beneath my feet. It’s a lot more damaged than the one we’re living on, and the hall is littered with debris from years of neglect. Like most of the buildings around here, this one isn’t in great shape. But after years of living on the streets we’ve mastered the art of picking out buildings that are still safe enough to live in.

My body tenses when I step outside, and I have to shield my eyes just a little. I’m not used to the light. Afraid of getting caught, I typically like to sleep during the day and go out looking for supplies at night. It’s how I’ve always been and it’s served me well over the years. Dex and Turk talked me into going out today though. I’m still not totally sure how they did it, because just the thought of running around the city during the day has my stomach twisting into knots.

 
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