Personal rejections are amazing... At least to me.

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Today, after feeling awful and wondering if I'm going down the right path in my life, I finally, finally, received my very first personal rejection!

I still can't compare to a large number of people here who have had numerous personal rejections, requests for partials and fulls or have actually gotten the agent but couldn't get a publisher, but this is my victory.

Someone actually took the time to tell me why they were rejecting the story instead of just throwing a copy and paste email at me. They thought the story was interesting, but the word count (102,000) was too large for YA (even though it's fantasy) and my writing wasn't quite up to the level it needs to be.

I nearly shed tears of joy. It felt so good to hear an agent's feedback for the first time ever. My dad thought I was acting stupid (we got into an argument when I told him I couldn't ask if they'd accept the story if I lowered the word count, because they didn't offer me to resubmit) for being so happy about a personalized rejection, but he doesn't understand the business, anyway, so I'm not surprised.

:)
 

katci13

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I understand. I submitted a story once and got several personal rejections: not long enough, too dark, they didn't do that kind of fantasy, my query confused them a bit, blah blah blah, but I was almost bouncing off the walls happy. I even had one agent give me specifics as to what was wrong with the story sample I submitted! Several writers also asked to see my query letter. Best rejections ever. So much better than what I got another time, many did not even bother to replace the dear author with my name. It was so bad I started to appreciate the ones that did.
 

MsJudy

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I agree completely. Personal feedback, no matter what, means someone actually read what you wrote and took you seriously enough to comment on it.

Validation!!!

And I know exactly what you mean about your dad. My mom's the same way. She wants to help and give advice, but of course publishing doesn't work the same way other businesses do. But then, she also loves to tell me exactly what my BOSS should do--as though I'm going to go back to work and say, My mom says you should...

We have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Smile and ignore them...
 

Katrina S. Forest

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I know totally what you mean. I got a personalized rejection when I first starting submitting novels and it actually contained the words, "You write well." So help me, I wanted to frame it. I was also not as educated as you and thought that did mean I should re-submit, which got me a prompt form rejection. Poor nice editor.

Still, I'd go back and read that letter any time I was feeling inadequate. It's probably something I should do more of now, actually. My writing has improved, and I've submitted more, so there's more nice notes to re-read. But sometimes, I get bogged down in the idea that a no is still a no. I just jump to the part where I'm not offered representation right now, and cry, "Arg! Why am I such a failure?" (Okay, it's not as dramatic as all that, but you get the idea.)

I feel like writers go through this all stages. I read about people being frustrated that their fulls aren't getting read fast enough (their fulls!) or that their agent didn't sell their book yet (their agent!), or that their published book (published book!) isn't getting the sales they hoped for. Not that these aren't valid concerns, but sometimes I think authors forget how much they've accomplished just to have the problems that they're having. (I hope that makes sense.)

Anyway, here's my proposal. I think us aspiring authors should all write a letter to our future selves the first time we get some sort of personal feedback, just to remind ourselves how good it felt. So later, when things are going our way (but maybe not as fast our way as we'd like them to), we can re-read it and think, "Yeah, it might take a while, but I'll get there."
 
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us aspiring authors should all write a letter to our future selves the first time we get some sort of personal feedback, just to remind ourselves how good it felt. So later, when things are going our way (but maybe not as fast our way as we'd like them to), we can re-read it and think, "Yeah, it might take a while, but I'll get there."

Sounds good. lol. Think I got the perfect email to send to myself.

Dear Future Self: Let me guess, another form rejection, huh? Or did you make it further but still got rejected at another stage?

There's good news, brah.

To get the rejection you just received, it means you're still submitting and fighting. Congratulations.

Seriously. Cheer up, fool. It's not over yet. I may be from the past, but remember that one agent who gave you your first personal rejection? She said what you wrote was actually interesting. All you need to do is get more interesting and write better.

Don't ask me how. I'm your past self, which means you should already be better than me with every tomorrow you've lived through. I'm stuck in Yesterday Land. I can never teach you anything or improve myself.

But you can. You're stuck moving forward, so don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Write them stories, Older Me!
Or I'll never tell everyone here in yesterday that we're related, and you don't want that. How can you deny being related to your own self? That's the ultimate rejection.
 

Jamesaritchie

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Personal rejections are milestones, and important. But, trust me, they can get very, very old quickly. You know you're only one step away, and rejection after rejection tells you how well you write, how good the story is, etc., but no one actually says yes.

I have a friend who's been going through this for a bit over a year now. Almost every rejection he sees is glowing praise for his writing, for his story, for his characters, for his dialogue, but there's always an UNFORTUNATELY that ends the rejection.

I think he'll break through the barrier soon, but right now the personal rejections are driving him insane.
 

MsJudy

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Personal rejections are milestones for writers. And good diagnostic tools, if you get enough of the same comments for the same piece.

Most definitely. It's what pushed me to the next level.

And yeah, close-but-no-cigar is hard. So I keep a list in my head of the writers I've met here and at conferences who made it past that point, to keep reminding myself that if they can do it, I can, too.
 

randi.lee

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Your reaction is brilliant. So many people would take this to heart and have a really hard time with it. Good on you for seeing the bright side!
 
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Personal rejections are milestones for writers. And good diagnostic tools, if you get enough of the same comments for the same piece.

Kudos for your reaction to it, too.

Your reaction is brilliant. So many people would take this to heart and have a really hard time with it. Good on you for seeing the bright side!

I'm surprised. I thought everyone acted like this when they received their first personal rejection. Apparently not. lol.

I wanna talk a little more about why this is so amazing to me. What makes this moment so very, very phenomenal is the fact that way back when I was a teenager writing fanfics and writing with groups in roleplaying threads, everyone used to tell me how great my writing was and ask why I wasn't a pro yet.

Despite those uplifting comments, I knew they were wrong. I knew I wasn't that great, or even average. I wanted to get better, somehow, but didn't know how to (at that time, anyway).

Sure, eventually I had other writers give me advice over the years and tell me my writing wasn't all that, and improved after listening to them, but this querying process was driving me crazy.

Form rejections made me feel like no agent was reading anything I wrote (probably 100% untrue.). I don't have a big ego and I don't have the best query or story ever (this one might end up being trunked soon), but I know I have the potential to reach publication. I feel like my life will never truly begin until I break into the business.

Someone in the business suddenly personally telling me I'm not at a high enough level, but have an interesting story, is like finally reaching the ocean's surface after swimming from the deep bottom for an eternity. I wasn't drowning. I wasn't dying. I was just tired of seeing the same watery scenery around me.

Now that I'm out, I'm aiming for the stars, not the sky.

Personal rejections are milestones, and important. But, trust me, they can get very, very old quickly. You know you're only one step away, and rejection after rejection tells you how well you write, how good the story is, etc., but no one actually says yes.

Looking forward to someday feeling that way.
 
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ness428

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oh my god I completely get what you mean!! I got my very first personal rejection last summer, and oh man, did I cry like a baby--because I was so happy that they actually took the time to read it through and type up a few tips that can help me improve!!
 

Jamesaritchie

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I'm surprised. I thought everyone acted like this when they received their first personal rejection. Apparently not. lol.

Pretty much everything varies from writer to writer. I sold three short stories (Four, if you count one that I still have issues with), and a novel before I received any rejections at all, so the first rejection I did receive, which was very personal, actually puzzled me.

I have a friend who tried writing, sent out his first short story to a top magazine, and received a highly complimentarty personal rejection, but to him, it was still a rejection, still a failure, and he stopped writing.
 

Squirrel on a Ledge

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I wish I'd get a personal rejection. Heck, I was exceeded when an agent addressed me by name rather than using "Dear author..." I still like to think this may have been a slightly good sign.

Congrats on the personalized rejection!
 

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I know exactly what you mean. I got one the other day that said my writing was humorous and my characters engaging, and I was just about bouncing off the walls with delight. I even broke the rules and sent her an email to thank her.
 
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I wish I'd get a personal rejection. Heck, I was exceeded when an agent addressed me by name rather than using "Dear author..." I still like to think this may have been a slightly good sign.

Congrats on the personalized rejection!

Thanks. I've been addressed as "Dear author" before, too. I've even had "Ms." put in instead of Mr.

I wish you more. Get a partial, a full, and/or finally get accepted. Here's to our querying struggles!
 

Putputt

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That's so awesome! When I first started querying, an agent was kind enough to give me a personal rejection. I found her comments pretty on-point, so over the next few months I edited the MS...I pretty much cut out the second half of the book and rewrote it. After that, I sent that agent an e-mail asking if she would like to read the new version, and surprise surprise, she said yes! It took about a month for her to get back to me, and once again, she came back with a thorough criticism of what didn't work for her. Once again, I spent the next few months reworking the MS, and for the third time, she agreed to read it. At the same time, I was submitting the MS to other agents, and I definitely saw an increased interest in the MS after listening to this agent's comments. Although I ultimately went with a different agent, I don't think he would've offered me representation if not for her advice. So...here's to personal rejections! :)
 

narmowen

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I have a couple personal rejections that made my day. Both said that they love my dialog and my MC. The second said she'd love to check it out after a revision (some stagnant scenes of way too much dialog and info-dumping) and any other books I have (or will have). The second made me smile for a couple days!
 
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