Pants on Fire

I can remember knowing someone, back in the Younger Dryas, who could do the parallel thumbs trick. It happened after a softball game while we were celebrating a win with pitchers of beer and bar tricks, so the memory is a bit foggy but I will say that one is true. And who doesn't have a couple three brass mermaids around the house? The Yellowstone Park intern story is so mundane that it must be false. --s6

I can remember knowing someone, back in the Younger Dryas, who could do the parallel thumbs trick. It happened after a softball game while we were celebrating a win with pitchers of beer and bar tricks, so the memory is a bit foggy but I will say that one is true. And who doesn't have a couple three brass mermaids around the house? The Yellowstone Park intern story is so mundane that it must be false.

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shakeysix is right! # 3 is FALSE. Though, I was mistaken for one once!

I do indeed have the tacky (?) mermaid lamp, I'll post a pic if someone wants to see.

I am also flexible enough that I can bend over at the waist and place my palms, and then the backs of my hands, on the floor. But I stop short of being truly double-jointed.

I was so sure I had it right this time.

Well, it has been an eventful week in America's linty navel. For once I have some exciting events to report. Two are true and one is not.

1. Last week I witnessed a drug bust from my front porch.
2. This week an old classmate of mine resigned from the Chump legal team.
3. Last Monday a crop duster crashed in the canola field next to my house. I was in on the rescue.

"America's linty navel" -- HA HA HA!

I will have to say number two. Much as I wish it was true!

Got me, Nym! Crop dusters cannot operate in a "congested" area. Even St. John Kansas is too congested for Kansas law. There was a drug bust across the street from my house. Yellow tape, handcuffs, the county drug dog--all the big city fixings. Every police vehicle in the county was there--all eight of them. I was so close I didn't even need my binoculars.
I did go to high school with Ty Cobb. Saw him at our last class reunion, always a nice guy but a little impetuous. In grade school he was famous for swallowing live rolly-polies. I rest my case. --s6

Here's some from me:

1. I found a long-lost relative on 23 and Me.

2. I rescued my tenant's lost weiner dog.

3. I discovered a patch of marijuana growing in a local park.

#2 is the lie. You had that barking weiner dog hauled off to the pet-pokey.

Which is my lie?

1. I once mishandled a chainsaw and suffered a significant leg injury.
2. I once listened to a woman commit suicide while standing outside her front door.
3. I once disabled an armored vehicle by driving it over sturdy lawn furniture.

Cobalt Jade said:

Here's some from me:

1. I found a long-lost relative on 23 and Me.

2. I rescued my tenant's lost weiner dog.

3. I discovered a patch of marijuana growing in a local park.

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I choose #3, odds of you finding it first are tremendous. With all the winos and junkies that frequent parks, any patch of pot would most likely have been long harvested before you got there, even low grade ditch weed.

Cobalt Jade said:

Here's some from me:

1. I found a long-lost relative on 23 and Me.
2. I rescued my tenant's lost weiner dog.
3. I discovered a patch of marijuana growing in a local park.

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#1 is the lie

aheuett said:

Which is my lie?
1. I once mishandled a chainsaw and suffered a significant leg injury.
2. I once listened to a woman commit suicide while standing outside her front door.
3. I once disabled an armored vehicle by driving it over sturdy lawn furniture.

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Hmmm, this is tricky, because you can make a regular vehicle "armored" by taking off the door panel and putting old phone books in there (and if Google is true, this may also dampen or quiet road noise to a degree). I don't think lawn furniture would incapacitate a vehicle though, so my knee jerk response would be #3 is the lie.

That said, I would hope you lying about #2 - that would be a horrible thing to experience (as would #1)...

Here's my three:

In the past month, I have:
1. Been in five countries
2. Partially torn my rotator cuff
3. Killed another living creature

Here's some from me:

1. I found a long-lost relative on 23 and Me.

2. I rescued my tenant's lost weiner dog.

3. I discovered a patch of marijuana growing in a local park.

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#3 is THE LIE! I did find a half-cousin three times removed whom I'd always been curious about, and I did rescue a naughty wiener dog from a big bad squirrel.

1. I once mishandled a chainsaw and suffered a significant leg injury.
2. I once listened to a woman commit suicide while standing outside her front door.
3. I once disabled an armored vehicle by driving it over sturdy lawn furniture.

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#3 has to be the lie, because there is no such thing as sturdy lawn furniture.

In the past month, I have:
1. Been in five countries
2. Partially torn my rotator cuff
3. Killed another living creature

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I will say #3 just because it seems so mundane.

aheuett said:

Which is my lie?

1. I once mishandled a chainsaw and suffered a significant leg injury.
2. I once listened to a woman commit suicide while standing outside her front door.
3. I once disabled an armored vehicle by driving it over sturdy lawn furniture.

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I really want to say #2 is the lie... because Damn! That's rough—and I have many questions (all of which are probably insensitive). #3 appears to be the more likely culprit lie, mostly because it seems (reads) implausible.

Jason said:

Here's my three:

In the past month, I have:
1. Been in five countries
2. Partially torn my rotator cuff
3. Killed another living creature

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#1 is the lie. 'Five' is so/too specific. Maybe you've been in two or three countries—possibly four—or none, save the one you were born into. Another possibility is that you're a world traveler and have set a toe or two in more than five.

1. I once mishandled a chainsaw and suffered a significant leg injury.
2. I once listened to a woman commit suicide while standing outside her front door.
3. I once disabled an armored vehicle by driving it over sturdy lawn furniture.

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The first is false, I'm paranoid about my handling of chainsaws. The second is a long story, but not one that I can share in its totality here. I heard the gun shot but did not realize what it was until I later entered the house. The third is also true. It was a surprise to everyone when the sturdy steel leg of the table punctured the radiator and we heard the gush of fluids underneath the vehicle.

In the past month, I have:
1. Been in five countries
2. Partially torn my rotator cuff
3. Killed another living creature

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I'm guessing number two. The first is the most notable, which makes it most likely to be true, and three is worded in a way to make it sound like it was unlikely.

In the past month, I have:

1. Been in five countries - True!
2. Partially torn my rotator cuff - False
3. Killed another living creature - True!

1. I was in Belize, England, France, Germany, and the U.S. - all within the last 30 days. (the answer could've been found from here and here)
2. I have frozen shoulder, but it's not a torn rotator cuff (the answer could've been found here)
3. I killed a spider the other day that was crawling across the wall (no previous record of this...didn't seem noteworthy at the time)

Congrats to aheuett

The third is also true. It was a surprise to everyone when the sturdy steel leg of the table punctured the radiator and we heard the gush of fluids underneath the vehicle.

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I am thinking this was some sort of enlisted man prank that went wrong...?

Details edited out

1. Danny DeVito once asked me if I was bored.

2. I rode a camel in Egypt.

3. At high school prom I wore a mermaid dress.

#3 is false.

Holy shiitake! You're an excellent lie-spotter. No, I didn't go to my high school prom. In a mermaid dress, or in any other kind of dress. Clearly I was too cool for such childish things. (Also not true... my boyfriend at the time was in college and was absolutely not interested.)

My turn.

1. I rode a mule into Grand Canyon..

2. I spent part of my honeymoon in a cave.

3. I was a professional belly dancer.

I'm leaning toward #2 being the lie.